


An Unconventional Mom

by clarks_girl



Category: Castle
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Family, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 11:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5331722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarks_girl/pseuds/clarks_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On an ordinary day, during a mundane week, in a forgetful month, she became somebodies mom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Somebody's Mom

**Author's Note:**

> This will be an series of one shots; mainly between Kate and Alexis as I love the dynamics between the two characters. And while I've used episodes as inspiration, it doesn't strictly follow Cannon.
> 
> I've double, and triple checked, and apparently I don't own Castle.
> 
> Also posted on FF. And I would like to thank my beta 41319always41319, who came on board in Chapter Nine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On an ordinary day during a mundane week in a forgetful month she became somebody's mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired Resurrection and Habeas Corpse

It happened on a Tuesday.  Just an ordinary day, during a mundane week, in a forgetful month.

Kate looked at the clock on the cruiser's dash, and sighed with frustration as she tried to find a parking spot near Columbia. She cursed herself that she hadn't left the five minutes earlier she was planning to, and now she was running late for lunch with Alexis.

Weekly lunches between the two had become a regular occurrence over the past couple of months, as the bond between the two women grew stronger. While Alexis was still living at home, the young red head been dropping hints about moving out next year. London had been mentioned a time or two, much to the alarm of her dad.

And while Kate would miss her, after all she would technically be her 'first' to leave the nest, she also understood that Alexis was now an adult, and finally ready both mentally and emotionally to take the next step in her life.

During one of their conversations the previous week over breakfast, Alexis told Kate that for the first time in her life she felt safe and whole. That she finally had not only the family, but more importantly, the parents she'd dreamed of having since she was a little girl.  And the reason the young woman hadn't moved out yet, was because she wanted to enjoy her family before leaving home.

Kate remembers trying to keep her tears at bay, while assuring Alexis, that regardless of where she was in her life, or where ever she was in the world, she would always have a home. The memory of her mother giving Kate the very same reassurance just before she left for Stanford, and then passing that reassurance onto her stepdaughter warmed her heart.

'Relax honey,' Rick said as he took her right hand, stroking it softly with his thumb. 'I just texted Alexis and told her we're running a couple of minutes late,' Most of the time Kate was able to get away alone after distracting Castle with something as she left the precinct. Today however, wasn't one of those days.

'Thanks babe, I didn't realise traffic was going to be this bad today,' she replied followed by a whoop of delight as a car pulled out of a spot right in front of the main entrance to the University. 'Victory is mine,' Kate exclaimed as she fist pumped the air while expertly parking the cruiser in the now vacant spot. Rick chuckled with amusement at how something as simple as a car spot could make his wife so happy.

'What Castle, we're already running late so let's hustle,' she said as she exited the cruiser.

'Yes dear,' he replied as he quickly got out of the car.

Hold hands, they walked across the road to the café they were meeting Alexis. It was easy to pick the stunning girl out of the group she was currently having a very loud and animated conversation with. How could you miss the beautiful mane of red hair. Rick smiled as they neared the group. Seemingly the topic of discussion was which American Actor could play the Doctor. Apparently it was Nathan Fillion from some show called Firefly.

'I still can't believe they cancelled Firefly after one season,' she heard someone in the small group complain as everyone nodded with agreement.

'She's definitely her father's daughter,' Kate said as she gave Rick an indulging smile as he squeezed her hand. Had they been in private, the look he was giving her would have her melted to a puddle of goo. As it was she could feel the flush across her cheek. Just when Kate thought she couldn't be any more in love with her husband, she caught the look of pride and love on his face as he looked at his daughter. This, she reminders herself, is the main reason she fell head over heels in love with him.

'Hey pumpkin,' she heard Rick say to get his daughters attention. And in typical behaviour befitting a twenty one year old, Alexis just groaned 'Dad!' as she blushed the same colour as her hair,  as the two young women with her gushed and sighed.

And despite the fact the young woman was embarrassed, Kate could see Alexis still secretly loved her pet name, by the roll of her eyes and her girly giggle.

'That's right Castle, you're the cool dad,' Kate chuckled, as she embraced the young woman who'd stepped eagerly into her arms for a hug, and placing a gentle kiss on Alexis's forehead. Also her father's daughter when it came to displays of affection, something Kate had gotten used to over the past few months. For so long Kate had been on the outer, watching the love between father and daughter. But now, they were her family too, and along with this family came lots and lots of hugging.

'I see you couldn't get rid of your shadow,' Alexis sassed Kate as she let her dad pull her into a hug. His response was to squeeze his daughter until she squeaked to be released.

  
'Believe me I tried, but he smells subterfuge at ten paces, you know that,' Kate laughed as Castle pouted.

'Not fair,' he grumbled. 'It's bad enough when you ladies gang up on me at home,' Alexis just laughed at him as she fist bumped Kate. 'Hey I saw that,' he exclaimed as both women feigned innocence.

'Don't worry Dad, I still love you, and I'm even still willing to be seen in public with my parents on occasion,' Alexis teased.. 'I'm glad you guys finally got here, cause we're all starving,' Alexis complained, over exaggerating the 'starving'

'We're starving?' Rick said looking towards Kate. 'I thought it was just Alexis,' Rick whispered to Kate who shrugged, also not knowing they were having lunch with Alexis's friends.

  
'Sorry guys, it was kind of last minute,' Alexis smiled shyly. 'It's kind of an orphan lunch, cause these guys can't get home this weekend, and they miss their families.   So I figured they could share mine today….I hope you don't mind,' Alexis sent a pleading look towards her parents for understanding. The hopeful looks on the faces of the kids standing in front of them, removed any disappointment they may have felt towards having their lunch gate crashed.

'It's not a problem sweetie,' Kate said as she pulled Alexis into another hug.

The young red head had such a kind heart, and was so considerate of others. Kate remembered her time at Stanford, how you would crowd a friend whose family had come to visit them, just to get some type 'parental' time. She knew how it helped keep the homesickness at bay. As an adult she was all too happy to admit to missing her mom and dad, but as a student, she would never in a million years admit to missing her parents. If she'd known she was going to lose her mother so soon she would have made every effort to spend as much time with her as possible.

'Well come on then,' Alexis said, pulling Kate out of her thoughts. 'Quick introductions and then lunch, we already have a table booked' which was followed by unanimous murmurs from the rag tag group of students in front of them.

'Sorry guys, but they're finally here,' Alexis apologised. 'So real quick, this is Andie, Brittany, Luke and Robbie,' Alexis gestured towards each person as they each said hi. 'Guys, my dad Rick, and my mom Kate,' Kate was sure her heart just stopped, or skipped a beat, hell it could of left the building. Because in that one simple sentence, on an ordinary day in a mundane week in a forgetful month, she was somebody's mom.


	2. London's Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thought of spending two weeks separated from her family was unacceptable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I flew out from Melbourne to London the Saturday after In Plane Sight originally aired, hence where the inspiration came from.

The Virgin Atlantic fight touched down at Heathrow at six twenty in the morning. Kate had managed to get a seat on the evening flight out of JFK the night before by the skin of her teeth. And while she'd flown her fair share of red eye flights during her life, nothing compared to sitting in a cylindrical metal tube for six hours worried sick about her husband and daughter.

Her daughter. Kate had been referring to Alexis as her daughter more and more in recent months. Kate was surprised at how quickly the bond between herself and the young redhead had grown, and how accepting Alexis had become, particularly since she'd finally married her dad.

Despite the fact her family had arrived safely in London, the thought of spending nearly two weeks separated from them after their horror ordeal across the Atlantic the day before was unacceptable. From her first phone conversation with Rick after the flights Air Marshal had been found murdered, to her watching their fight land safely via the airlines website, Kate thought of nothing but getting to both him and Alexis as quickly as she could.

As she cleared customs, Kate was glad she was in such a rush the night before that she only had time to pack a small overnight bag when she went home to collect her passport. Not having to waste time to collect luggage, Kate was in a taxi and on her way to the Four Seasons just before seven thirty.

'First time in London then luv,' the taxi driver asked a clearly distracted Kate.

'Um no,' she replied trying to keep her breathing under control. She knew the signs of an impending panic attack, and the lack of sleep over the past forty eight hours along with her husband being on the other side of the world had only added to her anxiety.

'Sorry about the traffic, bank holiday and all yesterday and now everybody's out and about again. You'd think people could survive twenty four hours without shopping' he apologised.

'Not a problem,' while not outright lying, Kate didn't feel the need to explain the reasons for her distraction to a perfect stranger.

She instead concentrated on the scenery going by the window. How quickly the buildings morphed from working class to old world London in a matter of miles. It must have rained last night as the roads were wet, but the greenery and trees shone from the cleansing downpour.

As the taxi finally pulled up in front of the hotel, Kate realised that in her haste she didn't have anything but American cash on her. The credit card transaction felt like forever as she paid the taxi driver, throwing him a quick thanks as she exited the car and ran into the hotel lobby.

Any other time Kate probably would have taken in opulent décor, but on this day she wouldn't have cared if she was running through a garbage dump so long as it go her to her husband and daughter.

The young woman at the lobby desk looked up from her paperwork and bestowed a kind smile on a clearly frazzled Kate as she ran up to the desk.

'Good morning,' the young woman…Alicia, the name on her name tag. Alicia, Alexis. She was so close to her family. 'Welcome to the Four Seasons, how may I help you this morning?'

'I'm here to see my husband, Richard Castle,' Kate said in a rush, trying to catch her breath.

'Not a problem Mrs. Castle, if I could just see some form of identification I'll be can then provide you his room information,' Alicia asked. Clearly the young woman had experienced strangers trying to get information on celebrities in the past due to her tone changing from friendly to almost condescending.

Well shit Kate thought to herself. While she was legally Mrs. Kate Castle, all her identification still had her listed as Kate Beckett.

'I'm sorry but the only identification is in my maiden name Kate Beckett…,' Kate started.

'Kate Becket, ask in Nikki Heat,' Alicia asked excitedly, clearly star struck by the woman standing in front of her.

'If that gets me into my husband's room, yes Kate Becket AKA Nikki Heat,' Kate said. She was hanging onto her nerves by a thread and just wanted to see her daughter, ravish her husband, have a shower and spend the next week in bed whilst ravishing her husband.

'I'm sorry Mrs Castle, but you can understand the need for security and privacy of our guests,' Alicia apologised. The young woman was clearly remorseful for her previous display of exuberance.

'It's ok, I've just had a hell of a forty eight hours,' Kate's impatience was starting to win out and she just wanted to get upstairs.

'Ok here you go Mrs Castle, Mr Castle and your daughter Alexis are in penthouse suit one,' the young woman explained.  ‘You’ll need use elevator one reach the penthouse suites.  Once you’ve entered the lift, swipe your key card to take you to the top floor, your room is to the left as you exit the lift,' she said. 'Do you need any help with your luggage?'

'No thank you, I only have a small bag,' Kate said as she took the key card and turned towards the lifts. 'Thanks for your help,' she said walking away from the lobby desk. She was a short elevator ride away from her family.

Kate couldn't stop fidgeting as the elevator started to move up towards to the top floor. Thankfully she was the only passenger so she didn't have to stop on any other floors on the way up. Watching the floor numbers light up as they went past their respective floors, Kate willed the small metal box to go faster. Now if this was a raggedy man in his little blue box she could have gone back in time and prevented the past twenty four hours from happening in the first place.

Kate suppressed an almost manic giggle as she realised how much her husband and daughter's love of the Doctor had rubbed off on her.

The lift doors opening brought Kate out of her thoughts and there was now only a hallway and a door separating her from her husband. Kate had to restrain herself from running down the hall like a maniac, opting instead for a brisk walk. On checking her watch just before she inserted the key card into the door, she realised that by eight fifteen both occupants of the room would probably be up and having breakfast.

The room however was silent as she entered, gently closing the door and lowering her bag to the ground. The blinds were still drawn and there was no sign of anyone awake as she made her way through the living area that separated the two bedrooms. Realising she had no idea who was sleeping in either room, Kate She decided to check the occupant of the room to the right first.

As quietly as she could, Kate opened the bedroom door. She could make out a large silhouette in the bed, meaning she'd found Rick first. Wasting no time and not caring that she was still wearing yesterday's clothes, and hadn't showered in twenty four hours she practically sprinted to the bed that contained her husband.

'Kate?' Rick slurred as he was roused from a jetlag induced sleep.

'Rick!' Kate sobbed as she wrapped herself around her husband. Rick held his wife tightly as she sobbed into his neck, whispering words of comfort to her.

'Kate, hush my beautiful Kate,' he murmured as Kate grabbed fists full of the t-shirt he was wearing. It was almost like she was tethering herself to him; grounding herself in the reality that he was safe and in her arms.

'Oh Rick…..I couldn't….,' was all she could get out before uncontrollable sobbing consumed her once again.

Rick pulled back slightly, gently framing her face with his large hands. As one thumb reverently wiped away the tears from her left cheek, his other hand softly smother her unruly hair behind her right ear.

'Oh sweetheart,' he soothed as he gently nuzzled her cheek with his lips.

'Where's Alexis,' she asked, responding to her husband's soothing touch. She was just so tired but knew she wouldn't rest until she'd seen her daughter as well; to confirm in her mind that both her husband and daughter were safe.

'She's asleep in her room,' he whispered. 'She'd planned on going out with friends last night, but after the flight from hell she wanted to stay close by,' Kate smiled knowing that even though Alexis pretended she hated it, she really was her daddy's little girl.

'I'm just going to go check on her,' Kate said as she reluctantly untangled herself from Rick's arms. 'I'll be back shortly,' rising from the bed, Kate give him a shy smile before turning to leave the room.

Kate made her way across the vast living room and dining area that separated the two bedrooms. She smiled when she realised Rick would have no problems ravishing her without having to worry about their daughter listening to what they were up to. Kate could feel herself blush at where her thoughts had gone just as she about to enter her daughter's bedroom. Jerry Springer eat your heart out.

Quietly Kate opened the door to Alexis's room and softly padded over to her bed, thankful she'd removed her boots before leaving the other room.

The morning sunlight was filtering through the semi closed blinds, and she could make out the young red head's form buried under the bedclothes.

Kate gently sat down in the small space beside Alexis on the bed and softly smoothed back the hair that had fallen across red head's face noting that for a young woman of small stature, she took up an awful lot of bed. Alexis stirred and stretched at Kate's ministrations before settling again.

'Mom?' Alexis asked as she gradually woke up.

'No sweetie, it's Kate,' she replied, but she felt a small thrill in the small of her stomach at being called mom. The word had been bandied around over the past couple of months, but Alexis hadn't come outright and called her mom.

'Same thing,' Alexis said her voice thick with sleep. But the way Alexis said it left no room for argument. 'What are you doing here?' she asked.

'I had to make sure you and your dad were ok…I just couldn't go another two weeks without seeing you,' she said as she caressed the young girls cheek.

Alexis sat up and threw herself into Kate's arms burrowing her head into Kate's neck. Kate could feel the tears threatening again and couldn't contain the sob that escaped her. She held onto her daughter tightly, gently rocking them both from side to side giving them both the comfort they desperately needed.

Alexis must have sensed Kate's exhaustion as she pulled away from the woman she was looking at more and more as her mother every day. Alexis moved backwards in the bed while throwing the bedcovers to the side.

Kate was past the point of exhaustion, both physically and emotionally. Laying down next to the young woman, Kate was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Alexis pulled the covers over them and snuggled into her mom's arms and fell back to sleep.

That's how Rick found Kate and his daughter after wondering what was taking so long for his wife to come back to bed.

Easing himself into the small space beside his wife on the bed, Rick wrapped himself around and placed a chase kiss on her shoulder as he too fell returned to land of sleep.


	3. The Peasants are Revolting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'It must be some sort of superpower'
> 
> 'I can assure you it's not hereditary'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a continuation of the previous chapter, and came about when I spent the day at the Tower of London with a group of very close friends.

To say Alexis was miffed with her dad was an understatement. She was currently watching him pretend to walk down stairs on the moving walkway that took visitors past the crown jewels. While the young boy on the other side of the glass though it was hilarious, did her father not realise the room he was in was one giant vault surrounded by the Queen's Guard and what looked like the SAS?

'Kate, do something!' She whined in a very loud stage whisper. Alexis at this point didn't want anyone knowing she knew him, let alone was related to him, but Kate just gave her the look.

'Don't give me that look,' Alexis groused. 'I had to keep him in line for the first eighteen years; it's your turn now,'

'Why is it my turn?' Kate questioned. She was clearly just as embarrassed by her husband's behaviour as her daughter was.

'Because,' Alexis complained. Her imitation of a whining two year old was uncanny. 'You're the mom and I'm the kid and it's your job to keep the dad in line,' she justified.

'Can't we just wander off and leave him here instead?' Kate suggested by way of solution.

'OK,' the young redhead agreed. And with that mother and daughter quickly left the hall containing the crown jewels, much to the disgust of the guards who were currently watching Rick do the moon walk backwards along the people moving conveyor belt.

When Kate had suggested visiting the Tower of London this morning at breakfast as it was something she'd always wanted to do, Alexis was quick to agree. It was already on her list of locations she wanted to visit while in London, and couldn't wait to experience the history and majesty of one of the oldest castles in the world.

Had Alexis known from the moment the three of them exited the taxi this morning at the tower entrance, her father was going to be like a nine year old a sugar rush who then injected steroids, she would have gladly stayed in bed.

So far he'd defended the castle from the French and marauding peasants as he ran up and down the tower wall yelling God Save the Queen, annoyed the poor staff in the Fusillier's Museum and terrified some poor old Australian woman when he suddenly appeared from behind King Henry the Eighth's suit of armour.

His antics however in the vault containing the crown jewels was the final straw for both mother and daughter, and they both gave a sigh of relief when they re-entered the main courtyard of the tower.

As they meandered over to the Tower Hill Memorial, Alexis linked her arm through Kate's and burrowed into her to help ward off the cold wind. Even though it was early May, and technically spring, the weather in London since they arrived at the beginning of the week was more suited to winter clothing than bearing skin.

Kate placed a gentle kiss on the girl's forehead as they reached the memorial. Both women stood in respectful silence as they thought about the people, including three queens who were put to death on this very spot hundreds of years before.

'It's hard to imagine what it would have been like,' Alexis whispered into Kate's shoulder. 'Katherine Howard was the same age as I am when Henry the Eighth ordered her execution, and Anne Boleyn not much younger than you,'

Kate wrapped her arm around her daughter and pulled her in close. Reading about history was one thing, but coming face to face with it was another. And as a Homicide Detective, Kate had come to realise that society hadn't changed much over the centuries when it came to domestic violence.

Shaking herself out of her melancholy, Kate took her daughter's hand and led her down to a vacant seat not far from the exit to the Crown Jewels.

Alexis sighed as she rested her head on Kate's shoulder 'I guess he'll find us or we'll find him,'

'Or we'll have to bail him out,' Kate countered.

'Of we leave him in jail overnight while you and I have a peaceful evening and he can bail himself out in the morning,' Alexis groused. Alexis felt more than heard Kate's laugh, knowing the older woman's thoughts were probably not far from her own.

Mother and daughter sat in companionable silence watching tourists from around world walk by. Young people with the narcissist sticks as Alexis loved to call them; mom's were running after their tearaway laughing toddlers and tour leaders trying to round up their tour groups. Alexis smiled, thinking it was more like watching someone herding a colony of cats. The noise and the smells were slowly lulling the young girl to sleep.

'How you doing there kiddo,' Kate asked as she felt Alexis weight sag against her.

'Ok,' she replied. 'Still trying to regulate my body clock,' she said by way of explanation for her sudden silence while trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

'Everything else OK?' Kate asked. While Alexis and her dad had spoken briefly about their ordeal on their flight over, she hadn't yet spoken to Kate about it.

Alexis shrugged her shoulders in response. Had she been ten years old this would have been perfectly acceptable response. But as a twenty one year old adult, she should be adult enough to deal with traumas in her life on her own without burdening others with her problems.

'You know you can come talk to me about anything don't you?' Kate soothed as she rested her head gently on her daughters

'Yeah I know,' Alexis replied. She just didn't want to be a burden on Kate, especially not now that her family life was as close to perfect as she could get it. The last thing Alexis wanted to do was scare Kate off with being needy. She'd already had one mother abandon her and she wasn't going to risk losing another.

'You know it's not being a burden when you need help or want to talk,' Kate said as she took Alexis's hand. 'Trust me I know what it's like to try to shoulder the hurt on your own while maintaining a façade of strength, in the end it's just exhausting and soul destroying,' Kate said. Alexis could feel the burn in her eyes from the sudden onset of tears and turned her head away so Kate couldn't see the affect her words had on her.

'Wow do you and dad do some kind of ninja Vulcan mind meld thing at night or something,' by way of deflection before realising what she said. 'Eww, just eww…..please forget I said that,'

'Trust me not as bad as….nope not going there either,' Kate giggled as she remembered where her mind went the morning she arrived in their hotel room after her mad dash to London. Telling her daughter she was thinking how Alexis wouldn't hear her ravishing her dad as she entered her room would keep the young girl in therapy for the rest of her life.

'I've talked to dad, cause he was there and all,' Alexis started. 'And it's not like it was terrifying, even though it was, I mean there wasn't some crazy man with a bomb strapped to him or anything….and I'm not doing a very good job of explaining myself am I?' she sighed.

'It's just that,' she continued 'Even with everything that was going on, and trying to get our flight to London safely, all I could think about was if something happened, you'd be left all alone, and I'd never get to come home to you and dad and my life is finally where I want it and….,'Kate could see the beginnings of a panic attack overtake the girl and quietly started to sooth her through it.

'Oh honey its ok,' she said rubbing a comforting hand up and down the young redheads back. 'You're safe, I'm safe, your dad's safe…..well he's not on the plane anymore but you know what I mean,' Kate said. Alexis couldn't help but giggle, feeling ridiculous for having lost it in the middle of a crowded tourist attraction in London.

'You know I had exactly the same thoughts as you did' Kate started. 'Except I was stuck on the ground in New York as my husband and daughter were at the mercy of a killer on jumbo jet in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean,' she continued. 'And just like you all I could think about was how I finally got my perfect life with my perfect family, and I was just about to lose it all and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it,'

Alexis finally lost control of the tears she'd desperately tried to hide over the past ten minutes, but made no move to hide them from her mother. Kate gathered her daughter close and held her tightly murmuring words of love and comfort.

'Oh sweetie I'm so sorry you had to go through that, it's been a hard enough year already without adding more drama,' Kate said

'Drama I can handle,' Alexis grumbled. 'It's the constant disappearances and life and death situations I'm getting sick of,' she sniffed. Kate gave her a sad smile as she handed her a tissue which Alexis took gratefully.

'Speaking of drama, I don't see your dad yet,' Kate said as she looked towards to the exit of the tower containing the crown jewels.

Just at that moment there was a commotion in the direction they were looking. Fully expecting to see Rick being escorted out by security guards and police, they were surprised to see him surrounded by adoring fans signing autographs and taking selfies as he left the entrance way. It seemed the man could charm is way out of anything.

'It must be some sort of superpower,' Kate's voice a mixture of awe and irritation.

'I can assure you it's not hereditary,' Alexis groused as her dad walked over to them as Kate just giggled and squeezed her daughter's shoulder.

'Hello ladies, I wondered where you'd wandered off too,' Rick said. Neither of them missed his little play on words, but they didn't want his head to get any bigger than it already was.

'We just needed a little fresh air…'Kate started as Alexis nodded her head in agreement. Letting her dad bail himself out was one thing, making fun of him while he was having so much fun was something she would never do, even if he did embarrassed the hell out of her.

'Is there anything else you girls wanted to see before we head off,' Rick asked. They'd covered the entire Tower since arriving early in the morning, and the place was now starting to fill up with people.

'Nope I'm good,' Kate said.

'Yeah me too,' Alexis agreed.

Rick held out his hand to help Kate up and pulled her in one of his famous all-encompassing hugs. She buried her head in his neck and took a deep breath, grounding herself in his smell. Pulling back he placed a gentle kiss on her lips so reverently she could feel her eyes burn with tears.

Kate pulled Alexis to her side where the young woman proceeded to burrow into her mother's side as the wind picked up again. Smiling she looked up to see the peaceful happiness on her parent's faces as they looked into each other's eyes, both wrapped around her. Sighing contently, Alexis gently disentangled herself from her parent's arms and stood to the side of the couple whilst holding onto Kate's hand.

Alexis felt a vibration in her pocket and pulled out her cell phone to see who was trying to contact her. Opening the message, her heart stopped in her chest as the familiar feeling of fear started to overtake her. Looking around, Alexis tried to find not only who took the photo, but how they got her number. Just as the panic started to escalate another message came through.

_'Hey Red this is my new number luv Paige'_

Alexis looked down at the photo now she realised they weren't being followed by paparazzi or crazed stalker, and the photo Paige sent her took her breath away. Her best friend had managed to capture the love of her family as they stood together in a group hug.

Kate peered over Alexis's should to see what was distracting the young woman and gasped when she saw the photo which of course made Rick want to see as well. The three members of the Castle family stood looking at this beautiful photo of them that somehow captured the essence of them as a family.

All three startled as they head a young woman squeal as she ran across the court yard toward them. Alexis squealed back as she ran to meet her best friend Paige halfway. Rick and Kate watched on while Alexis and Paige laughed and hugged and cried as they greeted each other after not seeing each other for over a year.

Arm in arm, the two young women rushed back to the older couple, giggling and talking a million miles an hour.

'Hey Uncle Rick,' Paige gushed as she was pulled in for one of Rick's famous all encompassing hugs.

'Wow look at you,' he said as she stepped back.

'Yeah all grown up, hard to believe hu?' she sassed. 'Hi Detective Beckett,' Paige said, greeting the older woman. 'Although it's Mrs. Castle now, which technically means you're Aunty Kate, that is so way cool having an Aunt who's a Detective,' Kate's head was spinning at how quickly Paige was talking. Rick just laughed while Alexis pulled her best friend in for another hug.

'I thought you were in Edinburgh this week,' Alexis cried as she and Paige finally started to calm down.

'Nah, heard a whisper that a certain red head and her writer dad were in town this week so I postponed my plans hoping to catch up with you guys,' Paige replied. 'Who'd have thought I'd run into you here while I was stuck with my brother and his girlfriend,' she grumbled.

'We're just about to head off for some lunch if you want to join us,' Kate offered and felt Alexis take her hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

'Wow I'd love too!' Paige exclaimed. 'I can't tell you how much I've missed you guys, mom and dad were here last week and I know it's dorky and childish but I miss them both like crazy,' Kate couldn't for the life of her work out how Paige managed to get so many words out of her mouth without breathing.

'You think she talks now, you should see her when she's drunk,' Alexis giggled as she whispered in Kate's ear.

Kate let out a quiet laugh as she wrapped her arm around her daughter and pulled in close. It was such a normal display of affection towards the young girl now that it was second nature to Kate.

The little family waited for Paige to let her brother know she'd 'gotten a better offer' as she so delicately put it, and ran back to join the Castle Clan for lunch.

Alexis and Paige linked arms and walked on ahead, talking and laughing, and every now and then letting out a squeal that would've had poor Queen Anne Boleyn rolling in her grave in the chapel adjoining the court yard. But Kate and Rick were just happy to see their daughter content, safe and carefree.

Rick raised Kate's hand to his lips where he bestowed a loving kiss before dropping it to wrap his arm around her as Kate wrapped one arm around her husband's waist. Reaching up with her other hand, she laced her fingers through Rick's where they rested on her shoulder.

They shared one final kiss that promised much more later on, and then followed the sound of laughter and squealing until they caught up with the two younger woman again.

Kate looked at her husband who was looking adoringly at his daughter and squeezed his hand. Rick gave her a soul melting smile as he gently placed a kiss on her forehead. Sighing she lay her head on her husband's shoulder and she realised she was content to follow her husband and daughter to the ends of the earth.


	4. The Girl Who Waited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how old you got, there were times where you still needed the love and reassurance from you parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last in the 'In Plane Sight' adventures and inspired after spending a day running around Cardiff.

'Come on Kate!' Alexis yelled as she ran towards the Water Tower in Cardiff Bay. 'We have to get a photo on the Invisible Lift!' To the say the girl was excited was an understatement. The two hour train ride up from London that morning hadn't made a dent in either her husband or daughter's energy.

Kate looked at her husband who was currently 'striking posses' on the sidewalk in front of the monument, and while amusing, she still couldn't get over how ruggedly handsome he was in his blue button down shirt and long grey overcoat. 'Damn he's hot,' she said to herself. Even after working with him, sleeping with him and marrying him, he could still cause her to blush like a crazed fangirl without even trying.

'You know for someone who was completely embarrassed by her father's antics at the Tower of London yesterday, you're a carbon copy of him today,' Kate laughed as she made her way to the shimmering monument.

'But Kate,' Alexis whined, 'that was serious history….this,' she said as she flung her arms in the air and spinning in a circle. 'This is Doctor Who,' she said by way of explaining her behaviour. Yes definitely her father's daughter.

'Right,' Kate said shaking her head as she walked over to where her daughter was currently jumping on and off the sidewalk in from of the Water Tower. 'What on earth are you doing?' she asked as she reached the young red head.

'Perception filter,' both father and daughter answered at the same time like it was the most normal thing in the world.

'Of course…..silly me,' said Kate as she rolled her eyes. 'So is this Doctor Who or Touch Wood?' she asked.

Had she not been married to the overgrown man-child, stepmother to the beautiful red head and had interrogated some of the worst scum who walked the face of the earth, she would have wilted under the identical looks father and daughter were giving her.

'Touch Wood?' Rick asked. 'Seriously Kate, how long have we known each other?' he questioned. 'We've been living together for three years…married almost a year…Touch Wood…really?'

'Rick….' Kate began by way of apology. She knew how seriously her husband and daughter took their sci-fi.

'No Kate, that's just like me confusing Nebular Nine with Firefly….even if Firefly is the far superior show that should never have been cancelled after the first season,' Rick pouted.

'Seriously Rick? Firefly…..superior…you wanna do this now in front of my kid?' Kate challenged back.

'I don't mind,' Alexis interjected with an impish grin.

'Our kid Kate, and yes I want to do this with you right now,' Rick replied, but the look he was giving Kate showed his mind had wandered elsewhere.

'Hey guys, you wanna keep this to a PG13 rating so I won't need more therapy for the rest of my life?' Alexis sassed her parents.

Alexis had accidently walked in her parents during some hot and heavy make-out sessions a couple of times, and once on the dining room table…..oh dear God there was her fathers naked butt again.

She loved that her parents were head over heels in love, and that loved flowed onto her, but she was now stuck with an image of her naked parents in her head...again. And she'd only just recently gotten rid of it! Nowadays Alexis made a habit of either calling or making a lot of noise as she came home if she knew they were in.

'You ok Pumpkin,' Rick asked, concerned as his daughters sudden silence.

'Ah yeah…flashback,' she said leaving the explanation at that.

'It gets easier Sweetie,' Kate soothed wrapping her daughter in a hug not realising her flashback had nothing to do with her recent transatlantic flight.

'I highly doubt it,' the young redhead grumbled. 'And seriously mom, it's Torchwood not Touch Wood,' Alexis muttered sounding like a typical twenty one year old berating a parent. Extracting herself from Kate's arms, Alexis started running toward passing woman pushing a pram. Kate vaguely noticed Alexis waving her camera and the woman laughing and nodding.

Kate stood stock still, shell shocked came to mind. It was a slip of the tongue, no big deal, act normal. Alexis had been introducing her as her mom to strangers for a while now. 'Stop making a big deal out it,' Kate said to herself.

Rick walked over to his wife and squeezed her hand. 'You OK babe?' he asked as he took in his wife's expression.

Kate sent a pleading look to her husband. 'What do I do Rick?' Marrying Rick was one thing, replacing Meredith as Alexis's mother was another thing all together.

'About what,' he asked feigning innocence.

'Your kid called me mom that's what,'

'Just act the same as when she calls you Kate or Beckett,' Rick soothed. 'And she's our kid not mine, you got joint ownership of her at the same time as everything else,' he said as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

'But Rick…..' Kate started.

'Look I get that you're freaked out right now Sweetheart,' Rick continued. 'And I'd be worried if you weren't freaked, but Alexis came and spoke to me last month after our lunch with her and her friends,' he said.

Kate clearly remembered how it felt when Alexis had introduced her as her mom; the thrill she'd felt in the pit of her stomach.

'Yeah but Rick, introducing me as her mom and calling me mom are two different things,' Kate argued. She looked over to the girl she now thought of as her daughter to make sure she wasn't in earshot of their conversation. But Alexis was currently having a very animated conversation the mother she'd stopped.

'I get why you're worried Kate,' Rick said taking his wife's hand. 'Alexis knows you're not trying to replace Meredith, and honestly there's not much to replace,' he shrugged.

'But Rick…' Kate tried to interject.

'No Kate please let me finish,' he pushed. He knew he had to tread carefully when arguing with his wife. 'Yes Meredith gave birth to her, and occasionally visits if she finds time and if Alexis is really lucky Meredith remembers to call her for her birthday and Christmas,' Rick signed. 'And honestly,' he continued 'Alexis hasn't really tried to keep in contact with her mother either,'

Rick stopped to think of the right words to sooth his wife. 'But you...you've been one of the few constants in her life for seven years,' the look in Rick's eyes pleading for Kate to understand. 'If I could have written the perfect pre-requisite, the perfect Key Selection Criteria if you will, for the type of woman I wanted to inspire and be a role model for my daughter, I wouldn't have come close to how perfect you are,'

By now he'd pulled his wife close with his left arm, while his right hand gently cupped her cheek. 'I get that you're worried about being seen trying to replace Meredith, and Alexis came to me with the same fears, except in reverse,' he continued. 'Alexis is worried that if she tries too hard to get close to you, she'll scare you away and you'll close yourself off to her,' he told her truthfully.

'Oh Rick,' Kate sighed, clearly overwhelmed with this revelation. Her behaviour towards the the young woman while her dad was missing was almost accusatory at worst, dismissive at best. But when Alexis had clung to her father, terrified of loosing him again; instead of empathy, support and reassurance, Kate had look on Alexis and her behaviour as weird, annoying and intrusive. This would have only re-enforced Alexis's fears of Kate closing herself of towards her. And of course there was her abduction by 3XK added into the mix. No wonder the poor girl was clinging to both of them.

'I know we haven't had an easy transition to where we are now,' Kate nuzzled her husband's hand as she continued. 'Especially over the past ten months or so,' she signed. 'And I know some of the conversations you and I had when she was trying to overcome her fear of losing you would have just confirmed her fears towards me,' Rick gently swiped at the tear rolling down her cheek. 'But I love the relationship we have now, I refer to her as my daughter more often than not…' Kate stopped, not knowing how to continue.

'Do you know she asked me if I thought you would ever allow her to call you mom?' Rick's soothing smile was having the desired calming affect on her.

'Really?' Kate was clearly surprised by this revelation.

'Yeah, she read about how Bruce Willis's daughters called Ashton Kutcher Mod when he and Demi Moore were married, my other dad, Alexis justified that mom could also stand for my other mom,' Rick said. 'Her reasoning is she just has two moms now.'

'Ok…. I think I can deal with that,' Kate sighed and smiled. 'I just don't want to force anything, and honestly until recently, I've never felt like a mother figure, let alone wanting to take on a twenty one year old daughter,' she said.

'So what changed,' Rick asked. Whatever had happened when she was taken by 3XK, it definitely had a bigger impact than just escaping a serial killer.

'I don't know….I guess up until recently she saw me as Beckett, just another woman you married,' Kate started but quickly continued before Rick could interject. 'But after coming home after…well you know….and to see how upset she was that I was missing, I finally got why you indulged her when she was clinging to you after your disappearance.' Kate finished. 'And now she's in such a good place, you know she's been dropping hints about moving out next year don't you?'

'I have no idea what you're talking about dear,' Rick said feigning innocence.

'You guys ok over there?' Alexis yelled across from where she was still talking to the young mother.

'All good here Pumpkin,' her dad replied.

'Seriously dad?' she muttered whilst rolling her eyes and walked over with the woman she'd met.

'Sarah this is my mom and dad, guys this is Sarah,' Alexis said by way of introduction. 'She said she'd be happy to take some photos for us and gave me directions to some cool filming locations we can walk to later,'

'Hi Sarah, I'm Rick and my wife Kate,' Rick plied on the charm as he shook Sarah's hand.

'Pleasure to meet you,' Sarah replied in her thick Welsh brogue whilst blushing at Rick's smile.

'Your Alexis has been tellin' me about your adventures so far down in London, I just hope this little one will still want to spend time with her mummy and daddy when she gets to your daughters age,' Sarah smiled.

'She's beautiful,' Kate smiled. 'How old?' She felt Rick squeeze her hand.

'Our little Gwen is one next month,' Sarah gushed down at the tiny infant with a mop of red hair. 'So how about we get this photo taken so you can get down to your Doctor Who Experience, I haven't been myself since they moved it down the other side of the bay, but I've been told it's a must for any fan of the Doctor,' Sarah said as she walked a couple of paces back. 'They were out and about filmin' yesterday, so if you're real lucky you might catch a glimpse of 'em today,'

Alexis squealed as she jumped up and down on the spot while. 'That would be so seriously cool,' she said as she dragged her parents back to the 'Invisible Lift'

Sarah took a group shot of the family, and then Rick and Alexis insisted on possess. Rick was Captain Jack of course and Alexis insisted on Kate being Gwen, after all who could resist the chemistry between Jack and Gwen, even if Jack couldn't understand 'us quaint people and our categories'.

Kate looked at her watch before looking back at her family. 'We'd better move if we want to take a look around the bay and make our session time, thank you so much for indulging us Sarah, it's been a pleasure to meet you,'

'Oh no worries luv, the Doctor and Captain Jack pretty much keep Cardiff alive these days,' Sarah said handing Alexis back her camera. 'You'd better hurry an' catch up with your family then,' Sarah laughed as she watched Rick and Alexis run off down the courtyard.

'Oh My God!' they heard Alexis screamed.

'I'd better get over there,' the worry in Kate's voice evident as she ran towards her daughter.

'What!' Kate said breathlessly as she reached her daughter who was now leaning over the railing overlooking the wharf. 'Alexis what's wrong, where's you dad?' she said clearly starting to panic.

'It's Ianto's shrine at the bay entrance to the Hub,' Alexis squealed. She gave her mother a quick hug as she ran down to join her father who was now looking all the tributes attached to the gates in front of the 'Hub' entrance.

'I have seriously been transported to another dimension,' Kate said to herself as she walked down the ramp to where father and daughter stood with their arms wrapped around each other. All along the gates were tributes to Ianto Jones and Captain Jack Harkness. Some were old and faded, some were recent. Photos and tributes to the fictional character and his untimely death.

She wandered over to the left of the shrine to read the two plagues that were attached to the wall. 'To the Management and Staff of Mermaid Quay' the top one read. A thankyou from the fans of Save Ianto Campaign. And the second was a….was that a tombstone? Apparently he gave his life in Defence of the Children of this planet. For all the teasing she'd been giving her family this morning, she could at least respect the characters her husband and daughter were so obsessed with stood for protecting humanity against the evils of the world….universe….whatever.

'Hey guys, is that the TARDIS over there?' Kate asked pointing off into the distance.

Both father and daughter rushed over to where she was pointing…did Rick just let out a girly scream? 'Come on Kate,' he yelled as he grabbed her hand and started to walk briskly in the same direction.

Alexis had already taken off, laughing and giggling as they got closer to TARDIS and the building housing the Doctor Who Experience. 'I can't believe we're finally here!' she said as she rushed back to her parents, grabbing her dads arm. He squeezed her hand where she'd taken hold of it, memories of walking down the street holding hands with his little baby girl came flooding back to him.

'When Alexis was twelve, she asked to come to Cardiff for her birthday,' Rick started. 'She couldn't understand why we couldn't just pop over here for the day,' he said.

'In my defence I couldn't understand why mom could take me to Paris for lunch, but dad couldn't take me to Cardiff for the day to visit the Doctor,' Alexis said.

'You were mad at me for while over that,' he reminisced.

'Yeah but then everything happened with Gina and…' Alexis let the sentence go. Yet another woman who'd walked away from Rick and Alexis. Rick wrapped his arm around his daughter pulling her close whilst laying a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.

'Honey it's Ok to talk about it,' Kate said.

'I know,' Alexis said quietly, looking off across to the bay.

'Hey, no sad faces today,' Rick soothed as he stopped to pull his daughter in a hug. Alexis burrowed herself into her dad's arms and composed herself before she pulled back. Her dad's hugs had always been a refuge of safety for her growing up, and it surprised her that even now as an adult, she still needed the love and reassurance from her parents. Weren't you supposed to outgrow that?

'You never outgrow wanting a hug from your dad,' Kate said as she too hugged her daughter.

'Kate you are seriously scaring me with your mind reading abilities,' Alexis said as Rick wandered off again.

'Are you sure you don't mind us going home early?' Kate asked. She was hesitant to bring the subject up with her daughter not know what her reaction would be.

'No Kate, I'm glad we're going home on Friday instead of next week,' Alexis assured. 'I don't know if dad told you, but we'd already planned to come home yesterday after he spoke at the Sherlock Holmes Society,' she said.

'No he didn't mention it to me,' Kate said.

'Honestly Kate, the only reason dad and I are still in England is because you arrived the next day,' Alexis smiled. 'All we could think about was getting home to you,'

'Hey you promised you're dad no sad faces today,' Kate soothed as she wrapped her daughter in another hug.

'I hope I didn't freak you out too much earlier,' Alexis said as they continued to walk hand in hand along the wharf. Rick was down by the railing overlooking the bay taking selfies with the TARDIS in the back ground.

'Well I have to admit when I heard you scream and looking over the railing, my first thought was you're dad had done something stupid and reckless…..again,' Alexis giggled and wrapped her arm around her mothers.

'No I mean when I called you mom,' Alexis said softly. She was looking out over the bay, not wanting to see the rejection in Kate's eyes.

'Hey,' Kate soothed. 'Sweetie look at me,' she continued as they stopped and she turned the young red head towards her.

'I have to admit that yes it freaked me out….I've never…I don't want…I'm not saying this very well am I,' Kate sighed.

'What did you tell dad? Whatever it was it seemed to appease him,' Alexis said trying desperately to slow her out of control heart rate down.

'I'm going to be honest with you Alexis and say that until recently I never felt like a mother figure, and was definitely not ready to take on a twenty year old daughter even thought I knew you and you're dad were a package deal,' she said. She could see Alexis's eyes closing over, shutting her out and pulling away.

'But,' she continued 'When you're dad and the boys rescued me from 3XK,' she saw Alexis flinch at the name. 'When you came home from Italy after your dad sent you away to keep you safe, the way you barrelled through the front door to get to me, not your dad…..that was the first time I'd ever felt such unconditional love outside your dad and my parents, but more importantly, it was the first time in my life that I felt complete and utter maternal love for another human being' she finished.

Kate fully expected her daughter to blush and pull her in for a hug, what she didn't expect was the outpouring of utter terror that quickly spiralled into a full blown anxiety attack.

'I was so scared Kate…..when the men burst into my room…there was yelling and guns….and some strange guy pulling me out of my bed..….and dad was totally freaking out…..Gram's was screaming….and you were missing…and then being put a plane with no idea if I'd see either of you again…..it was just like Paris all over again….and then on the plane….and I had no control…..' Alexis was trying to control her breathing but failing miserably. She was hyperventilating to the point of almost blacking out.

'Hey I need to you take deep breaths Alexis,' Kate soothed. 'Breath with me….in for five out for five….come on stay with me sweetie….. you're safe..…your dad's just over by the water…..I'm right here…..can you tell me where you are…..' She yelled for Rick as she took off her coat and wrapped it around her daughter who was now shaking uncontrollably.

'Kate!?' Rick yelled as he ran over and helped guide his daughter to a seat bench nearby.

'Alexis Pumpkin, can you hear me….it's dad,' Rick wrapped himself around his daughter as her breathing slowed, but her shaking continued.

'Honey you need to answer us, I need you tell us where you are,' Kate was trying desperately to guide her daughter back from her panic attack.

'Um…..Wales….we're in Wales…..um Cardiff Bay….we came up on the train….'

'That's good baby, can you tell us who you're with,' Kate continued to coach Alexis back, carding her fingers through the girl's long hair. Rick continued to stroke his hand up and down her back.

'My mom and dad,' she said dissolving into sobs. 'I'm sorry….I'm so sorry….I'm sorry' Alexis kept repeating over and over again as she clung to her father.

'Honey you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about,' Kate soothed. 'Trust me I know that panic attacks can sneak up on you right out of the blue,' she said.

'Kate's right baby, I've helped her back from some pretty nasty anxiety attacks in the past,' he said as he rocked her from side to side. 'And she's right that they can sneak up on from out of nowhere,'

'But I should be able to control them,' she sobbed. 'I'm an adult I'm supposed to be able to deal with this sort of stuff now,'

'Who on Earth told you that?' Kate was stunned. She could barely hold it together at times and she was a Homicide Cop, and here was her daughter thinking she was supposed to keep it together.

'Just stuff I've heard people say….you know…..just stuff….' Alexis didn't want to elaborate on the whispers she'd heard about still living at home, about how she was a spoilt daddy's girl. She wouldn't let on how much it hurt her and why she started to pull away from first her dad and then Kate.

'Honey, why didn't you tell us you were struggling,' Rick asked. There was time Alexis would share all her fears with him.

'I just…..you guys have been through so much lately….and I didn't….'

'Don't you dare say you didn't want to be a burden Alexis Harper Castle!' Kate chastised. She got where the young girl was coming from, and maybe that had something to with her, but Kate refused to allow Alexis to feel like she was a burden.

Alexis grimaced at hearing her full name. 'So much for our fun day in Cardiff,' Alexis sniffed whilst trying to stifle a yawn. Kate knew all too well how exhausted you felt after coming out the other side of a panic attack.

'I'm still having fun,' her dad said. Alexis just gave in the look. 'No seriously, you have no idea how much fun I have making Kate panic,' He felt his wife punch him on the arm and Alexis couldn't help but giggle at their antics.

'Your dad's right sweetie,' she said as she pulled her daughter into her arms. 'How about we go visit the Doctor then grab some lunch, I hear the café they filmed scenes from The Impossible Astronaut is just above Ianto's Shrine,' Both Alexis and Rick just looked at Kate with their mouths open.

'What?' she said with a sly grin.

'So you've been seriously pulling our legs all morning Kate?' her husband asked in disbelief.

'I plead the fifth,' she sassed. 'Come on you two, if we hurry we can make our session,' she said as she rose from her seat, pulling her daughter with her.

Alexis handed her mother's coat back to her with a small smile of gratitude. 'We'll talk more about this when we get back to the hotel ok?' Kate said as she pulled on her jacket.

'Ok,' Alexis replied.

'So what do you want to do for our last day in London tomorrow,' Alexis vaguely heard her parents discuss what they wanted to do tomorrow. Something about Harrods and cool toys followed by a groan from her mother.

Together they walked towards to the building housing the Doctor Who Experience, Alexis between her parents. She would savour these moments, because she knew that her childhood had come to an end and it was time for her to make her way in the world.

But she also accepted that no matter how old you got, there were times where you still needed the love and reassurance from you parents.


	5. The Final Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think today was the proverbial final straw.

Kate was putting the last of the dishes away from lunch when she heard the soft click of the front door closing. She looked over to Rick's office and saw the door was closed meaning he was still lost in the writing vacuum he'd been in most of the morning. The absence of Martha's exuberant greeting could only mean Alexis had just returned home from lunch with Meredith. Steeling herself, Kate took a deep breath to prepare for what was probably going to be a terse conversation at best.

'Hey sweetie, how'd your lunch go?' Kate asked her daughter as placed the left over ham from lunch back in the refrigerator.

'It went,' Alexis replied indifferently. Kate closed the refrigerator door and turned towards her daughter who was looking distractingly at her hands as she sat at the kitchen counter. Alexis had begrudgingly gone to lunch with Meredith, despite having said yes to meeting up with her mother a week ago.

Both Rick and Kate had noticed Alexis had been out of sorts the last couple of weeks, but each time they asked her what was wrong the young redhead would deflect their concern by changing the subject. Both parents initially put it down to the stress of their recent trip to England and the jetlag from the trip home, particularly now that Alexis had started seeing Doctor Burke to help deal with her PTSD and anxiety attacks.

But they both now realised there was something else going on that was causing their daughter to pull away from them. Add Meredith into the mix and it was a recipe for one very surly redhead at the moment.

Kate filled two glasses with water and handed one to Alexis. 'So how's your mom,' Kate asked before taking a sip of water.

'Well as far as I'm aware you're fine, but if you're asking about Meredith well…she's Meredith…..what more can I say,' Alexis sighed with frustration. 'She was at her self-absorbed best today…it was pretty obvious I was just pulled out for window dressing for some producer and his wife she's trying to impress…' Alexis grumbled as she looked back towards the closed door of her dad's office.

'Honey….'

'What Kate….I did the daughterly thing, I spent time with a woman I barely know any more and have nothing in common with just to appease people, so can we just leave it at that?!' Alexis yelled as she stormed up the stairs leaving a stunned Kate in her wake. The slamming of Alexis's bedroom door not only brought Kate out of her stunned silence, it also brought her husband out of his office.

'Kate?' Rick asked as he took in his wife's distraught look. 'Was that Alexis, is everything OK?'

Kate tried to take a cleansing breath as she grabbed a cloth from the sink. Water from the glass Alexis had sent flying as she stormed off was now dripping down the cupboards and onto the floor. 'I honestly have no idea what just happened Rick, but whatever's going on with her I think today was the proverbial final straw,' Kate sighed as she started to wiped down the bench.

'I'll go up and talk to her, see what Meredith did this time to upset her,' Rick ran a hand through his hair as he turned towards the staircase. A sure sign he was not only frustrated, but had no idea how to fix whatever was wrong with Alexis..

'Babe….just give her an hour or so to cool down, going up there now will only lead to more confrontation,' Kate said knowing all too well from personal experience. 'She'll come to us when she's ready, and the last thing she needs is us interrogating her,'

'Kate I won't be interrogating her…..I'm worried about her,' Rick said with a slight defensiveness.

Kate took a deep breath at the inadvertent hurt she felt at her husband's words. She needed to stay calm, keep her husband calm so they could find out what the hell was going on with their daughter.

'I know Rick, but that's how Alexis will see it…..I'm just as worried about her as you are,' Kate walked over to him and lay a calming hand on his arm. 'Babe there's something going on with her that has nothing to do with London or Paris or anything connected your disappearance or her anxiety attacks….this….this is something else and we need to tread carefully or we risk her not coming to us at all,' she said caressing his arm.

'How'd you get so smart,' Rick sighed as he placed his head on his wife's shoulder and wrapped her in an all-encompassing hug. Kate smoothed her left hand through the hair at the nape of his neck as she ran her right hand up and down his back.

'Really Rick….you're just noticing this now?' Kate grumbled. 'How quickly you forget who helped you raise her over the past seven years.'

Rick raised his head and looked at his wife with such devotion Kate struggled to keep eye contact without blushing. 'I will never forget who's stood by me and helped me raise her,' Rick whispered as he drew her for a sensuous kiss, the intensity weakening Kate's knees to the point where her husband's arms were the only reason she was still standing upright.

'Hey save that for later big boy,' Kate murmured as she moved out of her husband's embrace. Rick had the good grace to blush as Kate moved back to finish cleaning up the spill left in Alexis's wake, while Rick moved to the sink where a few lunch dishes were still sitting.

'Kate, when did you first notice the change in Alexis….I've been wracking my brain to come up with anything that could be causing her to cut herself off from us,' Rick asked as he put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher.

Kate crossed her arms and leaned back against the bench in contemplative thought. 'I've been struggling to come up with anything myself Rick,' she started. 'Alexis and I worked through so much together when we were in England, got so much out in the open and when she started her sessions with Doctor Burke and putting in the hard work…she just seemed so…..content,' Content was the only work Kate could think of to describe her daughters behaviour since returning from London.

'I just don't know what to do, she won't talk to us, she's distant and surly one minute and acts like nothing's wrong the next…' Rick shrugged his shoulders, a look of helplessness on his face. It broke to heart to see her husband looking so lost.

'I know….,'Kate was interrupted by the ring of her cell. Throwing Rick a silent sorry she answered the unfamiliar number 'Beckett….oh hey Paige….,' Rick looked up sharply at the mention of his daughter's best friend. '…no she's upstairs in her room…' Kate threw a worried look towards her husband. 'Honey Rick's here with me, we're going to move into his office and put you on speaker ok?' Kate said as they both moved towards Rick office.

'Hi guys,' Rick heard as he closed the door to his office.

'Hey Paige,' Rick said, his body language clearly showing how wound up he was.

'Sorry to bother you guys but I'm just calling cause I'm really worried about Alexis and she's refusing the answer my calls or e-mails…and I'm just worried,' the fear in Paige's voice was clear to both occupants in the room.

'Honey….do you know what's going on with her?' Kate asked. 'We know something's going on but she won't talk to us,' she continued.

'Look I don't know if it's connected, but the other week after you guys appeared on Saturday Night Tonight, we both got such a kick out how good you were and Alexis started getting tweets and messages about how cool her parents were bla bla bla…,' Paige finally stopped to take a breath.

'Paige can you get to the point,' Rick said impatiently. Kate lay a calming hand on his forearm and squeezed, he was so tense it was like squeezing a metal bar.

'Sorry Uncle Rick, while we were talking she said was going onto your official website…..'

'Shit!' Rick muttered quietly as he started to pace the room.

'Yeah….look I don't know exactly what she found while she poking around in the forums, but I'm guessing whatever it was, it wasn't good…I mean I've seen how bad these keyboard warriors can get when they've decided to spread the love so to speak,' the disgust in Paige's voice evident. 'All I know is what ever she found she hung up on me pretty much straight away and has refused to talk to me about it since…..and now she won't talk to me at all,' both Kate and Rick could hear the fear in the young woman's voice. 'And it's just so hard….cause I'm over here in London and she's there in New York and I can't get to her to talk to me and I don't know what to do…' Kate could clearly here the tears evident in Paige's voice.

Rick on the other hand was beside himself with rage, and Kate herself had a fairly good idea what Alexis had stumbled upon. Scratch that, Kate was terrified of what Alexis may have stumbled upon.

'Rick…' Kate said with concern.

'God damn it Kate!….I've spent all of her life protecting her from this bullshit!…..and I don't know how many times I've told her to stay away from the on-line forums…' Rick exploded as he continued to pace the room like a caged animal. Heaven help whoever was on the receiving end of his temper.

'I'm so sorry Uncle Rick….' Both Rick and Kate could hear the fear in Paige's voice. 'It didn't occur to me at the time what happened but it's the only thing I can think of that may be behind why's she gone off grid,'

Kate stopped her husband's pacing as she tried to sooth him. 'Babe getting angry isn't going to solve anything..…right now Alexis is sitting alone in her room and has been stewing over God knows what for the past few weeks and we need to work out a way to talk to her about it,' Kate needed him calm so they could talk to Alexis. 'Paige honey, thanks for your help…..at least we have a direction to go in now…..' Rick looked at her incredulously. 'Don't give me that look Rick, it's more than we had twenty minutes ago…sorry Paige…' sighing in frustration.

'No it's ok Kate' Paige said.

'Honey I need you to be honest with us,' Kate started. 'Do you know what she may have seen,' Right now she was the only rational person in the room and terrified of not only the young girls answer but her husband's reaction.

'…..if she's seen what I think she's seen….,' Paige started hesitantly. '…then Alexis is gonna need some major reassurances from both you guys and an extra session with her shrink….,' Paige finished.

'I take it you've been to the forums….' Rick asked. It was like a horror story…he didn't want to hear but he couldn't stop the morbid curiosity.

'Yeah….' Was all the young girl said.

'How bad,' Kate asked frightened of the answer.

'It's bad….like….' Paige didn't want to say it but knew they'd find out themselves. '…there's a link from the main forum page to….essentially it's a hate page directed at kids of celebrities….and there's references to Alexis on there…..' Paige finished softly. It was like she was preparing herself for the explosion on the other side of the Atlantic.

Rick didn't disappoint as he stormed out of his office, the door slamming back against the bookcase as he barged through the doorway swearing. Kate heard him stalk around the living room slamming objects around in his wake.

'Paige honey I gotta go….I'll call you later OK?' Kate hung up on the girl without a second thought because right now she could hear her husband yelling at someone and she needed to calm him down.

'I don't give a fuck if she's on a call, I want Paula on the line and I want her on the line now!' Rick yelled. Kate did her best to guide her husband back into his office to as he shouted at whoever was unfortunate enough to have answered his call at Black Pawn.

'Rick please keep your voice down,' Kate implored. The last thing Alexis needed was to hear her father ripping strips off Paula over the on-line forum connected to his website.

'Don't Kate…' The look Rick gave her sent chills through her. God help Paula was all she could think as she silently exited his office. She quietly closed the door and made her way to the staircase. Kate realised her time would be better spent starting the communication process with Alexis than trying to stop her husband from tearing shreds off his publicist.

'Kate?' Kate looked up to see her daughter descending the staircase and was surprised to see that her face was devoid of any signs of crying. In fact Alexis looked remarkably controlled compared to the angry young woman who stormed up the stairs less than an hour ago.

'Hey baby,' Kate soothed as Alexis stepped off the bottom stair and into her mom's arms. Kate wrapped her daughter in a tight hug before leading her over towards the couch. Instead of sitting however, Alexis headed towards her dad's office.

'Honey it's not the best time to interrupt your dad,' Kate said trying to stop an already out of control situation.

'I just want him to stop yelling at Paula,' Alexis replied as she neared the closed door. 'It's my fault not hers and she doesn't deserve the abuse she's copping from him,'

As Alexis opened the door she cringed at the booming angry voice of her father and felt even guiltier for what Paula was going through. 'Dad…' she said trying to get his attention.

'I don't care what your IT Department says.…'

'Dad…' she tried again.

'Damn it Paula..'

'Daddy!'

'What!' Rick yelled as he turned towards to the source of interruption. Rick signed and ran a hand through his hair.

'Dad please stop yelling at Paula, it's not her fault…and she was on the phone to me….' Alexis pleaded.

Rick looked at his daughter in stunned silence. 'Look I need to call you back…please just do what I asked you to do,' Rick pushed end on his cell. Closing his eyes, Rick took a deep breath to try to calm himself as he turned to look at his daughter.

'Hey pumpkin….want to explain to us what's going on?' He asked moving towards the young redhead.

Alexis allowed him to give her a brief hug before she extracted herself and took his hand, leading him back out to the living room where her mom was currently sitting on the couch. Kate's knees were bouncing with nervous energy as she watched father and daughter move towards her.

Rick sat allowing Alexis to control the situation, a tactic he'd learned from watching Kate work with victims over the years. His daughter strategically placed herself between her parents; a move he realised meant she didn't have to look at either of them as she spoke.

'Honey what's going on,' Kate asked as she took her daughters left hand. 'Your dad and I are worried sick about you…and we've just had Paige on the phone wanting to know if you're all right,' Alexis bowed her head at her mom's questions. 'And what did you mean when you said it was your fault,' Kate finished

'Because it is Kate…I stupidly trusted a person I thought was my friend….I let her into my home….let her meet my family!' Alexis stopped as she tried to gather her thoughts.

'Alexis…Paige mentioned she thought you'd found something on one of my forums that upset you,' she asked gently, leading the conversation.

'You know I was just so proud of you guys….the way you burst onto the set on Saturday Night Tonight….and I was just sitting there thinking 'wow they're my parents'….' Kate caught the glimpse of pride on her daughters face before Alexis continued. 'Paige rang me a little while later after seeing the clip on YouTube…there was link to it on your website dad….seriously someone at Black Pawn has no life…..but Paige was laughing and giving me a moment by moment description…and I just wanted to see what your fans were saying,' Rick could only cringe at some of the content she may have read. 'I don't even know why I did it, but I saw a post with my name in it…and clicked on the link….'

'Oh sweetie,' Kate soothed

'You know what the worst part about all this is?' Alexis continued as she got up from the couch and started to pace the room.

'Wait….we've met her?' Rick asked as he too rose from the couch only just catching up with the conversation. He'd been lost in thought as to what she may have found on his website.

'Yeah…when you were working the Mars case….no room at the inn remember?' Alexis said trying to deflect her dad's anger.

'Honey we still don't understand why this is your fault,' Kate asked as she moved to still her husband. She was getting dizzy from everyone pacing at the same time.

'Because instead of coming and talking to you guys I've stewed over it…and got angrier…and then lunch with Meredith today…but I've been talking to Doctor Burke and Paula…' Alexis stopped and took a calming breath, trying to remember the breathing exercises she'd been taught by Doctor Burke.

'What happened with your mom,' Kate asked softly.

'She did nothing wrong…really so please don't go yelling at her either dad' Alexis begged her father. '…she was just being Meredith…I wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with her today' she sighed giving her father a pleading look to leave it at that.

Rick let Kate lead him back to the couch and felt her place a calming hand on his knee once he was seated again. 'Honey we can't help you unless you tell us what's going on,' he implored. Kate squeezed his thigh where her hand rested and Rick stopped to take a calming breath.

'You know I'm not naïve enough to think that something like this doesn't exist out there,' Alexis said as she paced the space in front of the couch. 'And I'm no more a target than anyone else when it comes to cyber-bullying….I'll admit that when I first found the forum and started reading what people were writing about me….it devastated me….they pretty much reinforced every single insecurity I already have about myself,' Alexis shrugged as she tried to keep her emotions under control. 'I just don't get why people sit behind anonymity on a keyboard and say such horrible things about other people…and it's even worse when you realise it's someone you know.' Alexis looked so sad and lost where she stood in the middle of the living room.

Rick looked at his daughter, and he was once reminded of the lost little girl whose mother had just told her she was moving to California; was leaving for a new life without her and her daddy. 'Baby I'm so sorry…' Rick was at a loss for words on how to comfort his baby girl.

'Please dad, let me finish before I chicken out ….I know you guys have been worried about me and I'm sorry I've shut you out, but I had to figure this out on my own,' she said pleading with her dad to understand. She didn't intentionally set out to hurt either of her parents, but they were both looking at her with such worry on their faces.

'Rick let's just let her tell us her story and we'll go from there,' Kate said softly as she took his left hand in both of hers. He looked at his wife allowing her to ground him with her words and touch and took a deep breath.

'Ok Alexis, tell us your story,' he said looking back at his daughter as she sat on the coffee table in front of them

'Thanks dad.' Alexis took a soothing breath before she continued. 'I need to ask first what Paige told you...she texted me to tell me she'd just finished speaking to both of you, I just need to know we're all on the same page,' she said looking towards her mom. At this point Kate was the most rational parent in the room.

'She said that you went onto your dad's official website when you were talking to her about Saturday Night Tonight, and are now refusing to talk to her,' Kate confirmed.

'Yeah that's where it all started…I was so proud of you both….like seriously if you wanted to star in your own reality show you'd kick the Kardashian's to the curb,' Kate shuddered at the thought of living in a fish bowl for the world to see and judge. There were times now when she struggled with the notoriety of being the wife of Richard Castle. 'Come on Kate just think of the clothes and shoes you'd be asked to endorse,' Alexis ability to read the expression on Kate's face downright scary.

'Sweetie I'm married to a millionaire, I can buy my own clothes and shoes thanks very much…now stop sidestepping and get on with it,' the unusual air of parental authority with which Kate scolded her daughter was comforting to Alexis.

'Sorry…..anyway I found this site via a link on your website that took me to another site that's essentially hate page for kids of celebrities…I'm still not sure how I got on there…' she sassed her dad.

'Hey!' Rick exclaimed, but the look on his daughters face told him she'd been baiting him and he'd fallen for it. 'You know for someone who stormed up the stairs not an hour ago you seemed to be pretty calm now…what happened?' Rick asked.

'At first I was so upset by what I was reading, but it was like a car crash….I didn't want look but couldn't not look…and the more I read….,' Alexis stopped to take a calming breath. 'I had a session with Doctor Burke on the Tuesday where we talked about what I'd found, but more importantly dealing with my own insecurities,' she explained. 'Doctor Burke said I needed to take ownership of the situation instead of being a victim, so I spoke with Detective Ryan because he helped dad remove the photos of Ashley and Lauren after her birthday party a few years ago…'

'Ah' Kate interjected. 'I was wondering why he's been so secretive,' Kate said as things started to click into place.

'Sorry…' Alexis apologised.

'Hey you have nothing to be sorry for sweetie,' Kate reached over to take her daughter's hand. 'That was very smart using the resources you know you have access to,' she continued. 'I'm just glad you know you have people to turn to for help if you don't feel comfortable coming to us,'

Alexis gave her mother a soft smile before continuing. 'I also spoke with Tory…and as it turned out there was nothing much I could do from a legal point of view unless I wanted to sue for slander,' she shrugged.

'And that's why you were talking to Paula,' Rick finished. Now all the pieces were finally in place.

'Yeah, she's been working with Hairy Stew…'

'What the hell's a Hairy Stew?' Kate asked Alexis with an un-lady like snort.

'He's the manager of Black Pawns IT department,' Rick explained as he looked at his wife. 'His name is Steward Henderson…..bald as baby's butt,' he shrugged by way of explanation.

'Ok…so you've been talking with Paula and Mr Henderson…' Kate said, waving her hand for Alexis to continue.

'And he's banned the original poster…no dad I'm not going to name names,' she stated as he went to interject. 'And of course the nature of internet is you just make up another pseudonym and continue what you started, so Hairy Stew set up some sort of firewall bot…. he did try to explain it, but it was all gobbledygook to me…that essentially removes the site address as well as the original post if someone tries to post it on the forum again,' she finished.

'Honey how do you know who it was,' Kate asked.

'Because of the stuff that was being said' Alexis replied. 'Only someone who'd been inside the loft would have known what my home looked like…playing laser tag, that sort of thing…it was really quite invasive reading such personal stuff about myself….' Alexis failed to stop the single tear running down her cheek.

'Oh baby...' Kate was at a loss as to how to console her daughter.

'No it's OK really,' Alexis wiped the tears from her cheek as she reassured her mom. 'Doctor Burke has been really great in helping me work through everything…..but it's still hard you know…..reading that someone thinks you're a rich spoilt daddy's girl still living at home sponging off your dad…..' Alexis caught the sob before it escaped her mouth. Her husband's hand was like a vice where it gripped hers; she gave it a squeeze and looked back towards her daughter, silently encouraging her to continue.

'Why my stunning stepmother is allowing me to still live here…why I'd want to be living with a couple of newly-weds in the first place…why I don't have a boyfriend…..like I don't ask myself these questions everyday…' Alexis finished quietly.

'Alexis at what point have Kate and I said we don't want you here?' her dad asked. She could clearly here not only the hurt but also the anger in his voice, and she knew he was hanging onto his tempter by a thread.

'Never,' she answered.

'And have we ever made you feel like you're not welcome in your own home?' he questioned.

'No,' she said in a small voice.

'And have we been nothing but supportive of the choices you've made; regardless of if we agreed with them or not?  Even Pi?'  the mention of his daughter's ex-boyfriend sending a shudder through Rick.

'Yes,' she whispered, she looked down at her feet so they wouldn't see the embarrassment that was clearly visible on her face.

'Rick,' Kate said softly, she needed to rein her husband's anger in before he scared their daughter off when she was just opening up to them.

'Sorry…I'm sorry…' Rick apologised as he rose and walked over to his daughter.

'Daddy I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you or shut you out.' Alexis sobbed. The weight of the emotional roller coaster ride she'd been on for the past couple of weeks finally being lifted from her shoulders. The move so cathartic she could no longer keep up the façade that everything was ok.

Rick sighed as he pulled his weeping daughter into his arms. He wanted to kill whoever was responsible for hurting his baby girl like this. But at the same time he was so proud of how she'd handled the situation. How she's sought help and guidance from those he trusted most in his life. He would have to find some way to thank Tory and in particular Kevin and Paula for helping his daughter when she felt she couldn't come to him.

'So what happens now,' Rick asked as he pulled back from his daughter, once again giving her control of the situation.

'I don't want to just leave it at this dad, I've been talking to one of the councillors on campus and Doctor Burke about what I can do..and I'd like to start with putting a link from your website to the Government's stopbullying website,' Alexis explained. 'Nothing over to over the top….just another reference site, and then maybe in October you and I can tie something in with National Anti-Bullying Month…it's just a thought,'

'I think it's a great idea,' Rick was beyond proud of his daughter.

'I'd like to arrange a time for us all to talk to Paula,' Alexis said looking at her mother. 'I want to make sure it's done right, and not coming across as pretentious or arrogant,'

Kate walked over to Alexis and pulled her in for a hug. 'I'll look at my schedule for the next couple of weeks and let you know when I another free day.' Kate clung to her daughter as if trying to absorb all the hurt and heartbreak she'd been dealing with over the past few weeks.

'Thank you,' Alexis whispered. 'And thank you for looking after dad,' clinging just as tightly to her mom.

'Always' was all Kate's response. 'Promise me you'll call Paige back, you're very lucky to have such a good friend,'

'I promise and I know,' Alexis said with a squeeze.

'Ok,' Rick interrupted. 'Now I have been told in no uncertain terms that this isn't an adult way to solve a problem anymore, but I think it's time for ice cream,' Rick said he walked towards the kitchen.

Alexis giggled while Kate roller her eyes as they separated from their hug, but neither of them could deny Rick his way of coping. 'Ice cream sounds great dad,' Alexis replied as she took her mom's hand and walked over to sit at the kitchen bench.

While Rick and Alexis bickered over ice cream and toppings, Kate couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of pride she had towards her daughter. She took out her cell and sent Paige a quick text to say thank you and let her know Alexis would call her. She then looked back at her little family and once again though how lucky she was as well as sending a silent prayer of thanks to everyone who had helped her daughter in the past couple of weeks.

Kate made a mental note to give Doctor Burke a call the next day to thank him, as well as seeking out Kevin and Tory, before stepping into play referee to what had now escalated into an ice cream war between father and daughter, and she was not going to be the one to clean up the mess.

'Seriously guys?' Kate yelled. Yes this was her family and she could only imagine the bedlam when they started to add more members. Kate looked at her husband with a look full of love at the thought of finally giving Alexis the brother or sister she always wanted.

Rick caught a glimpse of her face as he held the tub of rocky road just out of reach of their daughter. Even with Alexis jumping up and down trying to reach THE rocky road in his hand, he could still look at Kate like she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen.

Blushing, Kate moved to get the bowls for the ice cream. 'You know at this rate we'll be eating ice cream soup if you two don't stop fooling around.' Kate groused.

'Yes mom,' they both moaned at the same time.

'Jinx' Rick said as Alexis huffed.

'You're both jinxed until I release you,' Kate said with a sly grin. But after the day this family had had, she was happy to put with the 'what' and 'seriously' being thrown at her as she took the tub of rocky road from her husband and handed it back to her daughter because this was what living in this family was all about. And she wouldn't change a thing.


	6. Your Stuff Will Still be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honey rest assured you're room and all your stuff will still be where you left it when you come home ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a tag for Hollander's Woods and was origionally the first chapter I had mapped out when I started on this journey. I soon realised however, that needed a few stepping stones before getting here.
> 
> You may have seen the photo of a little boy reading to a big ginger cat on Facebook, I love the concept of this program, and where I got part of the inspiration for this chapter You can read about ARL's Book Buddies Program here www.berksarl.org/programs/book-buddies/

'Babe it's not a problem I'll see you when you get home,' Kate smiled as she listened to the exuberant voice of her husband. When her cell rang at ten fifteen that evening she'd sworn loudly at the empty loft fearing she'd been called out. Thankfully it was just Rick calling to tell her he would be a little later than he originally planned.

Kate didn't mind the peace and quiet with both Martha and Alexis out for the evening and was currently tucked up in bed reading the latest novel from James Patterson. She had to admit she wasn't sure she was going to enjoy his latest work considering she was a homicide cop reading about a women's murder club, but was finding it refreshingly good. Lindsay Boxer could give Nikki Heat a run for her money.

'You know,' Kate jumped as Alexis walked through the bedroom door. 'Some would consider that cheating,' she'd been so engrossed in her book she didn't even hear her daughter come home.

'I won't tell your dad if you don't,' Kate threw back.

'Hmm fine by me but only because I'll have the blackmail edge,' Alexis giggled. 'Isn't it kinda creepy having dad's big heads in here?' she said as she flopped down on her father's side of the bed and looked at the giant photo boards resting against the wall. 'That is so creepy…' she whispered.

'Comfy there?' Kate laughed as she smoothed Alexis's hair away from her face as she looked back towards her mom. 'And I've already told him to move them out of here….' Kate said with a sigh. She already knows she's going to have to move them herself in the morning.

'They look so much bigger in here than they did on stage' Alexis tilted her head this way and that…nope still creepy. 'Where is dad anyway, I thought he'd be home from his poker game by now,' she said with a yawn.

'Well apparently he's on a winning streak and kicking Michael Connelly's butt, so he's not sure when he'll be home,' Kate giggled.

'Oh to be a fly on the wall in that room at the moment,' Alexis laughed as she re-arranged herself so she was lying on her side facing her mother, her head resting in her hand.

'So how was your night out with Paige…you're home early?' Kate queried looking at the clock on the night stand. Paige was home on a short break before her final exams and the two girls had spent every waking minute together catching up on everything they'd missed over the past year.

'Yeah, her mom's not well so she wanted to go home,' Alexis sighed.

'Everything OK with Gillian?' Kate asked with worry in her voice.

'Oh yeah she's fine, she's just at the tail end of a nasty cold that's knocked her around a bit and Paige just wanted to stay at home with her,' Alexis sighed as she let her head flop onto her dad's pillow.

'Kate..'

'Yeah sweetie,' Kate replied putting her book mark in the book. She figured she wasn't going to get anymore reading done tonight.

'Have you decided what you're going to do now you've passed your Captain's exam?' Alexis said as she picked at imaginary link on the bedspread.

'Not yet…..I know I have to make a decision soon which way I want to go…whether I stay in the NYPD or look at going into politics,' Kate replied as she stilled her daughter's hand. 'There are a lot of things your dad and I need to take into consideration and what impact it will have on the future of our family,' Kate finished as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

'Like me finally getting a brother or sister…preferably one of each,' Alexis asked with a smile.

'That's one of the things we're discussing, your dad and I will definitely be adding to the family,' Kate laughed as Alexis let out an 'ewwww' as she scrunched up her face. 'But' Kate continued as she swatted Alexis's shoulder. 'We also need to take into account the impact on you and Martha and anyone else who comes along if I do go into politics…..'

'You know I'll support you no matter what you decide don't you?' Alexis said as she looked up her mom.

'Thank you sweetie,' Kate said softly. 'But it's a little more complicated that just support,' Kate replied. 'So what's really going on in that pretty head of yours,' Kate asked. Alexis had the good grace to blush at being caught out.

'How did you know?' Alexis questioned as she rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

'Because I've known you long enough to know all your tells,' Kate said squeezing her daughters hand.

'Paige asked me to travel through Europe with her over summer break, just for a month or so…' Alexis said hesitantly.

'I think that's a brilliant idea sweetie, it's what you should be doing at your age,' Kate replied. 'Yet why I get the feeling there's a but in here somewhere.' Kate asked. Alexis shrugged her shoulders and looked down at their joined hands where she was toying with her mom's engagement ring. 'You don't want to go?' she questioned.

'Yeah I do….'

'What you think you'll come home after a month abroad to find your room packed up and all your stuff in storage…..oh my God you totally think that!' Kate laughed when she saw the look on her daughters face.

'No…yeah…maybe,' Alexis huffed guiltily. It still surprised her how well Kate knew her.

'Jeez kid, after what this family's been through over the past year and you're scared to go on vacation because you're worried we'll kick you out while you're gone,' Kate sassed as she pulled her daughter in for a hug.

'Stop laughing at me,' Alexis groused into Kate's shoulder. But Kate could tell from her tone that Alexis was only having fun with her.

'Honey rest assured you're room and all your stuff will still be where you left it when you come home ok?' Kate assured.

'Ok,' Alexis said as she flopped down on her back again.

'So that's the first thing out of the way, what's next,' Kate said. Since her sessions with Doctor Burke and her recent experience with cyberbullying, Alexis had been much more open with Kate, and their late night discussions had become a regular occurrence.

'Iwannatakeagapyear', Alexis mumbled.

'What honey, I didn't understand a word you just said then,' Kate laughed.

Alexis rolled over on her side again and looked up her mom. 'I want to take a year off from college,' she said.

'Oh….Ok….let me just get my head around this one because I get the feeling I'm the sounding board before you speak with your father,' Kate said , her mirth turning to seriousness so fast it made Alexis's head spin.

'No….I'm just strategically asking one parent before another,' spoken like a true lawyer Kate thought. 'I've already spoken with dad…about having no idea what I want to do with my life, not wanting to take a year off school….and I'd rather be out experiencing real life with the possibility of finding the passion and drive that you and dad have, than being stuck in school with no idea what I want to do,' Alexis explained.

'So this isn't just some kneejerk reaction to what's been going on around here lately….you have a plan for what you want to do?'

'Promise me you won't laugh,' Alexis asked.

'Honey I would never laugh at something that's so important to you….except may Firefly,' Kate sassed. Alexis giggled and felt the tension leave her body as she rolled back to stare at the ceiling again. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she thought as she felt her mom gently card her hand through her hair.

'I've spoken to Lanie, she said there's a part time internship at the morgue,' she started. 'I'd have to go through the normal interview and selection process, but she said it would just a formality….this way I can not only earn money, but also earn credits towards re-enrolling in college next year….and I know I have partial access to my trust fund now…but I want to work and earn money and contribute…'she said. Kate squeezed her daughter's hand tightly; even now she could still be stunned by what an amazing young woman Alexis had grown into.

'That sounds great honey, I know Lanie loves you and loves working with you….I've even overheard Perlmutter mention you could be the Chief Medical Examiner one day if you put your mind to it,' Kate said with pride. 'So apart from working with Lanie, what else did you want to do?' Kate asked.

'This is the part where you have to promise not to laugh,' Alexis said shyly and she rolled over to face her mom again, but Kate noticed this time her daughter had brought her knees up to her chest.

'Alexis..' Kate rarely used what Alexis had come to refer to as her 'mom' voice which the young redhead was certain was exactly the same as her Detective Beckett voice, but when she did, Alexis knew not to mess around. Detective Beckett was scary.

'I meant what I said at dad's award dinner….that I want to help you with your campaign if you decide to go into politics,' Kate sat quietly as she let Alexis gather her thoughts. 'The difference that you could make….I don't even know where to start, but I do know that I want to be part of the journey and I'm so proud of you,' Alexis was sure she heard her mom sniffle.

'And what if I chose to continue to pursue my career within the NYPD, what would you want to do then,' Kate asked, worried that her daughter was thinking about putting her future on hold for her.

Alexis pulled out her iPhone and brought up a website. 'Someone posted this photo on Facebook a little while ago, and there was just something about it….it just has such a quiet gentleness and beauty,' Alexis said.

Kate looked at the site Alexis had brought up and couldn't help but smile and the beautiful photo she was looking at. A young boy with his arm wrapped around a big ginger cat who was snuggled into the boy as he read a book to the cat.

'Ok I'm listening,' Kate said quietly while still transfixed by the photo she was looking at.

'Mr Moore….he's the campus councillor who helped me out last month…his wife helps run a cat rescue shelter on the Upper East Side,' Alexis started. 'She's been looking at ways to raise awareness and funds as well as start and education program. When I saw this post on Facebook…it just…I can't explain it…but it just struck a chord with me,' Alexis said quietly. Her mom squeezed her knee to encourage her to continue.

'I spoke to the Animal Rescue League in Pennsylvania to ask them how they went about setting up their Book Buddy program and then spoke to Mrs. Moore about introducing a similar program here,' she explained. 'And I know it's not as simple as putting a kid with a book in a room with a cat…but you know the results from studies into animal therapy are amazing, particularly in the areas of childhood trauma and autism and the benefits of a program like this here in New York are so far reaching….' Kate could hear the excitement and passion in her daughter.

'It sounds amazing, but why this…I mean it's a beautiful photo but what made you pursue it further?' Kate asked. 'I didn't even know you liked cats.'

'You know education has always been so important to me…and I see this as a way to help so many kids who are either struggling to learn to read or have difficulty socialising for whatever reason, or need help recovering from trauma….and it helps the cats…helps socialise and comfort the cats in the shelter…so many of them have come from abuse or neglect…and animals are non-judgmental….they love you no matter who you are or if you've had a crappy day, whether you have one dollar or a billion dollars…so I want to help Mrs Moore set up a Book Buddies program here in New York and spend time helping with teaching kids to read…. again it would also go towards re-enrolment credits.' Alexis said with a yawn.

'Wow….wow….that's amazing….like seriously amazing,' Kate said. It was rare that she was rendered speechless, but her daughter had managed it. 'You've really thought about this haven't you?' Kate was impressed by the amount of thought and planning Alexis had put into justifying taking a year off college.

'Hmmm' Alexis nodded as she struggled to stay awake. 'Or maybe I just want to become a crazy cat lady and this is my way justifying it' Alexis said with a giggle. 'But either way, I have options I'd like to explore,'

'Honey, so long as you're happy I have no problem with you becoming a crazy cat lady,' Kate said trying to stifle a laugh and failing. 'And I would be honoured to have you as part of my team if I do decide to run,' Kate placed gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. An expression of affection she didn't think twice about anymore. 'So what's next,' she asked.

'Nothing,' Alexis yawned.

'What about guys….I know you go to school with some hot young men,' Kate said.

'Kaaaate….' Alexis said as she rolled onto her stomach and buried her head in the pillow. Kate still couldn't get over her daughter's uncanny ability to sound like a whining two year old.

'What?' Kate giggled. 'I'm just asking….Is there someone you're interested in? What about the guy we caught you wiping the floor with at laser tag?' Kate asked

'David? No he's not interested in me,' Alexis said as she looked up with an incredulous look on her face.

'Why wouldn't he be interested in you? You're a stunning young intelligent woman,' Kate said clearly flabbergasted.

'Emphasis on the woman,' Alexis giggled.

Kate frowned briefly before the light went off 'Oh' she said with a slight blush.

'David's one of my closest friends...but he already has a boyfriend,' Alexis giggled. 'And no there's nobody I'm really interested in….and honestly I'm not really looking at the moment,'

'I hope you're not letting what happened with Pi put you off wanting to pursue a relationship,' her mom said.

'No…..not really… .. and I'm not going to sleep around just because I can…that's not me,' Alexis heard her mom sigh with relief. 'Don't get me wrong I'm not a prude… I'm just not looking for a boyfriend at the moment…that doesn't mean to say that if say Henry Cavill suddenly appeared in front of me I wouldn't hesitate in riding him until his eyeballs popped out,' Kate laughed out loud at her daughters response. 'Besides you and dad have set the bar pretty high for what I want out of a relationship,' Alexis said quietly.

'And you also saw all the heartbreak and sorrow we went through along the way,' the seriousness in her mom's voice caught Alexis off guard.

'Yeah…and there were times I begged him not to take you back….not to keep giving you another chance' Alexis whispered. 'And every time I had to pick up the pieces from where you'd broken his heart again I hated you just a little bit more.' Alexis said as she looked up at her mom when she heard Kate's sharp intake of breath. 'But,' she continued. 'I also saw the hard work you put in….you both put in to get where you are now….and I'm so thankful he never listened to me…..that you never gave up on him…or me,' she finished with a whisper. Kate swiped at the tear that had rolled down her cheek looking away momentarily.

'You have no idea how much that means to me to hear you say that and that you never gave up on me either,' Kate said as she gently smoothed a stray lock of hair off her daughters face. 'I know I've not been the easiest person to get to know, definitely not the easiest person to love….but your dad…and you and your Gram's have given me something I haven't had since my mom died….you've given me a family…and I know I have my dad, but for so long the relationship between he and I was…well you know the history….and I love my dad don't get me wrong….but we'll never have the relationship again we had when I was younger,' Kate's voice was tinged with sadness thinking about her mom and how it impacted her life, her dad and her relationship with her father.

Alexis rose up on her knees and pulled her mom in for a hug. 'I didn't mean to make you sad,' Alexis whispered as Kate rested her head on the young girls shoulder and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

'Oh honey you didn't make me sad,' Kate said pulling back. 'I have so many wonderful memories of my mom….memories similar to this,' she continued as she gently cupped her daughter's face and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before pulling back and laying back against the bedhead again.

'But so often I'm reminded of how much I miss her….how much we've both missed out on…..my career, you, your dad, what she and my dad could have achieved in their life together ,' Kate said with a sad smile. 'It's also why I encourage you to keep in touch with Meredith…because one day she won't there and I don't want you to regret not having a relationship with your mom,' Kate said.

'I know,' Alexis said as she swallowed heavily. 'And I do love her please don't think that I don't….I just haven't looked at her as my mom for a long time now….I think dad summed it up perfectly in describing her as a crazy aunt with a credit card…all she needs is the cats,' finished as she lay back down while Kate let out an un-lady like snort. 'And I know it's just who she is and I realised a long time ago I can't change her into what I want her to be,'

'I know, but do you want to?' Kate asked curiously.

'What do you mean,' Alexis asked in confusion.

'Just because she's not someone you look to for maternal comfort and support, would you want to change her?' Kate asked honestly. 'Yes she's highly strung and free spirited and you and your father have had to live with the heartbreak and burden of those personality traits, but on the other hand,' Kate took Alexis hand and quickly continued before her daughter could interrupt. 'Look at the joy she brings the world…just like your Gram's does when she's on the stage…for a few short minutes or hours Meredith and Martha give us a refuge from everyday life, where we can turn the world off and escape to a better place for just a little while… and she gave your dad, the world and me…she gave us you,' Kate said, her throat closing over with tears.

Alexis lay quietly because she'd never thought of her mother in those terms before. It didn't make it any easier to live with, but it did make her look at Meredith in a different light.

'Even on the worst days there is a Possibility for joy' Alexis whispered. 'I'm guessing dad borrowed that advice from you as well?' Kate nodded in response as she waited for Alexis to finish. 'I've never thought of her like that before, still doesn't make it any easier to accept that she just walked away from us' Alexis whispered honestly as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

'Oh sweetie I know, but Meredith loves you and is so very proud of you, every time she sweeps into town and whisks you off somewhere or sends you a trinket from someplace she's visited, just shows you're never far from her thoughts,' Kate said and pushed on despite the sceptical look Alexis was giving her. 'Your mom and I talk from time to time, you mean so much to her even though she doesn't have a very good way of showing you,' Kate finished.

'Yeah I know' the young redhead said unconvincingly.

'Honey what's the real issue here,' Kate asked.

'Promise me you'll tell me straight away if you find out you're pregnant while I'm away,' Alexis blurted out. She wouldn't let on, but she was still upset at the way she found out about her parent's engagement.

'Oh sweetie,' Kate sighed. 'I promise….and I know you're dad and I have apologised…'

'I know,' Alexis interrupted. 'But it's one thing to find out by accident that dad had asked you to marry him….,' Alexis let the sentence hang.

'I promise that as soon as I've pee'd on the stick, probably with your father watching me, and found out I'm pregnant I'll call you ok?'

'You coulda just said yes,'

'Yes' the sound of their combined laughter broke the tension in the room.

'Kate?'

'Mmm?'

'Thank you,'

'For what?'

'For everything you've done for me since you met dad,' Alexis was struggling to stay awake. She was slowly being lulled to sleep by the quiet conversation and the feeling of love and safety.

'You're welcome baby,' Kate looked down at her daughter when she failed to get a reply, only to find her sound asleep. Grabbing her book off the night stand she decided to read until Rick came home before waking Alexis and sending her to bed.

'You know,' Kate jumped a short time later as Rick walked through the bedroom door. 'Some would consider that cheating,' he finished as he walked around to her side of the bed and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

'And they claim human cloning hasn't been perfected yet,' Kate groused as Rick gave her a confused look. 'Like father like daughter,' was all she said.

'Speaking of daughters, any reason why ours has taken over my side of the bed?' Rick asked as he walked to the opposite side of the bed to rouse Alexis.

'She fell asleep a little while ago, figured I'd just leave her until you came home,' Kate replied without lifting her eyes from the page she was reading.

'Hey sleepy head,' Rick said as he gently roused his daughter.

'Daddy?' Alexis questioned her voice thick with sleep. 'Sorry I must have fallen asleep,'

'Why don't you head on up to bed,' Rick placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

'k' was all she said.

It was times like this that Rick struggled to comprehend that the tiny baby girl placed in his arms twenty one years ago was now a beautiful young woman. Where had the years gone?

'Night sweetheart,' Kate pulled her daughter in for a hug before Alexis had the change to leave the bed.

'Night mom, love you,' she murmured as she returned her mom's hug before turning and getting off the bed. Alexis stopped to allow her dad to give her hug before closing the door as she exited her parent's bedroom.

To Kate's credit she hadn't even flinched at the moniker her daughter had bestowed upon her, but she could tell from the look in her husband's eyes she was about to get very very lucky.

'Let's make a baby' Alexis heard her mom say as she reached the doorway to her dad's office.

Now fully awake, Alexis wasn't sure if that was a moan or sob from her father, and she didn't want to find out as she bolted for the stairs, making it to her room in a record time that would have made her younger self proud.

While she didn't want to think about how her brother or sister would eventually get here, Alexis did hope her sibling arrived before she moved out. She felt a pang of anxiety at the thought of finally leaving her home and refuge for most of her life.

After changing and settling into bed, Alexis sent Paige a quick text confirming lunch tomorrow before snuggling under the covers. While her sessions with Doctor Burke had reduced in frequency, Alexis knew that with the major changes on their way not only in her life, but also her family's life in the in the next year she would need help in navigating those changes.

But as Alexis drifted off to sleep, she knew she also had the support and guidance of loving parents and friends.  While the prospect was still daunting, Alexis was also very excited for what the future held.


	7. You're Not Alone Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You sound so sure,'  
> 'I am…you know why?'  
> 'Why?'   
> 'Because we're talking, because you're sharing your fears with me'

Can't breathe….ringing…..muffled voice…..can't breathe….home early….ringing….at Black Pawn….muffled voice…breathe…..lunch…..cheese….can't breathe…..can't…..…can't breathe…packing….airport…can't breathe…..dump…Kate…..mom…..help.

'You're home early, I thought you were on day shift,' Alexis asked her mom as she entered kitchen.

'I assume by the absence of noise and mess dad's still at Black Pawn,' she continued as she screwed up her nose after smelling the ham she'd just pulled from the fridge.

'Have you had lunch yet? I was going to make ham and cheese toasties but now it's just cheese toasties,' throwing the ham in the trash.

'You'll also be happy to know I've finished packing and I've organised the car service to drop me at the airport tomorrow, thanks for the offer to dump and run but knowing my luck you'll get a call out and you'll literally dump me on the side on the road somewhere…..'

'Kate…' Alexis turned to her mom realising she hadn't had a response to any of her questions. 'Kate…' she tried again as she moved to where Kate was sitting at the kitchen counter turned towards the living room. 'Mom….can you hear me?' she said hoping to get Kate's attention, but as Alexis came to stand in front of her mom, she realised there was something very very wrong. Alexis immediately noticed Kate's laboured breathing and vacant stare as she clutched at her chest.

'Kate can you hear me….it's Alexis?' Alexis stooped so she was eye level with her mom while desperately controlling the urge to touch her. 'Kate….can you show me you can hear me?' Kate's hand relaxed slightly from where it gripped her shirt.

'That's good Kate….I need to you concentrate on my voice ok…..you're sitting in the kitchen in the loft…you were at the precinct this morning…I'm standing here with you…..dad's still at Black Pawn…..gram's is at her matinee….your dad called me this morning to remind us that we still owe him lunch,' Alexis took her cell from her pocket and texted her dad to get home now.

Looking back up from pocketing her phone Alexis saw that her mom had let go of the death grip on her shirt and now staring at her hands. Alexis again fought the urge to touch Kate's hands that were shaking uncontrollably.

'Kate...please I need you to show me you can hear me,' Alexis tried to keep the fear out of her voice as she continued to coach her mom back. While she was no stranger to having panic attacks, Alexis had never had to talk someone out of one let alone someone as strong as her mom. Kate was the strong one in their family not her, all she had to go on was how people helped her.

'Is it ok if I touch you…..please show me it's ok…please show me mom,' struggling to see through her tears, Alexis saw the slight nod from Kate. Ever so slowly, as if she were approaching a terrified animal, Alexis gently touched Kate's left hand, restraining herself from just wrapping herself around her mom.

'That's good…you're doing really good…..just concentrate on your breathing…..breathe with me one two three four five and hold…..and five four three two one….and again,' Alexis stepped closer again as she instructed her mom.

Feeling the vibration in her pocket, Alexis pulled out her cell whilst still holding her mom's hand. 'Dad….I don't know, I just found Kate in the kitchen…I'm pretty sure it's a panic attack…please dad you need to come home now,' Alexis swallowed the sob so as not to startle her mom. 'Ok see you soon….love you too….bye'

Pocketing her cell again Alexis looked back towards Kate who was now staring at their joined hands. 'Dad's on his way home now,' Kate nodded and looked up her daughter.

'Hey…there you are,' Alexis soothed softly as she lifted a hand to smooth Kate's hair behind her ear. She felt her mom squeeze their joined hands in response before Kate dropped her gaze to her lap again.

'Ok you know the drill….can you tell me where you are,' regaining her composure, Alexis once again took control of the situation.

'Home….in the loft,'

'How did you get home?'

'I guess I drove….I can't remember,' Kate said taking a desperate breath as she lost control of her tears.

'That's ok….it's ok…you're doing really good….you're safe, dad's on his way home,' Alexis soothed. 'God I just want wrap you up and hug you,' Alexis blurted out, simply because she had no idea what to say or what to do next.

Kate sobbed as she fell into her daughter's arms, Alexis managing to catch her mom as she fell towards her, Kate's arms like a vice around her waist where she clung to her daughter and buried her head in her neck. Alexis was finding it difficult to breathe and keep them both upright, particularly as Kate was now shaking uncontrollably, and the young redhead could feel the familiar foreboding of terror start to overtake her.

Swallowing her own anxiety, Alexis desperately tried to think of what to do next. 'Kate….we're going to move over to the couch….think you can do that for me?' she felt the muffled 'yeah' and helped her mom to her feet.

Kate kept a death grip on her daughter's hand as Alexis led them over to the couch. The young redhead snagged the throw rug from the back of the couch before helping Kate sit down. Alexis wrapped the rug around her mom before quietly sitting beside her, allowing her mom to control the situation.

'I'm so sorry…' Kate sobbed as she clung to Alexis's hand.

'Hey you don't get to be sorry,' Alexis started. 'At least you have the luxury of breaking down in private,' she continued, trying to lighten the mood in the room and knowing she'd succeeded when she saw the slight lift of her mom's lips.

Kate looked up at the young woman sitting beside her, barely in her twenties and this extraordinary young woman was taking care of her, keeping her safe. And all of a sudden, in the depths of her despair and sadness, she realised she was so very proud to have become this young woman's mom.

'I got called into a meeting at 1PP this morning,' Kate started. 'My review is due; I've just been waiting for the confirmation so I didn't think anything of it,' she said as she felt Alexis shift closer. 'Captain Gates has been promoted to head of Internal Affairs so will be transferring in the fall,'

'I don't understand….why would they call you down town to tell you that…unless it was to offer you the Twelfth?' Alexis asked as Kate shook her head. 'And as much as I like and respect Captain Gates, isn't this a good thing for both of you?'

Kate swiped at her cheek, wiping away the tears she could no longer control. 'Kate please talk to me…what else did they say? Is it dad, has he done something to piss someone off again…..'

'Bracken's lodging an appeal against his conviction,' Kate looked up at her daughter's startled gasp.

Both women sat in silence. Alexis stunned by her mother's revelation, Kate because she was still trying to come terms with it. She'd fought for justice for her mom and won. It was supposed to be over, the man who killed her mother was in jail where he belonged, but now the case that had controlled much of her adult life was back; just when her life was exactly where she wanted it to be.

'Why's there been nothing on the news?'

'They wanted to let me know before it hit the news networks this afternoon,'

'But I thought the case against Bracken was airtight?'

'It is…but you know that doesn't take away his right to appeal his conviction,'

'I still don't understand why Captain Gates couldn't have told you…unless….they were trying to maximise potential damage control,' Alexis finished.

Kate smiled sadly at her daughter. 'I keep forgetting how smart you are,' she said as she pulled Alexis in for a hug.

'I'm sorry,' Alexis whispered.

'Thank you baby girl,' Alexis squeezed her mom before sitting back again.

'I get the feeling this is more than just about him lodging an appeal,' Alexis said and Kate just looked at her daughter with pride and fear.

'Apart from Captain Montgomery and Mike Royce my original training officer….your dad's the only other person who's seen me totally consumed by mother's murder...so much of the heartache I caused your father and in turn you, was because of my obsession in finding my mom's killer…..and I'm terrified of being pulled down that rabbit hole again because I know I won't make it back this time….and I have so much to lose now because it's not just me anymore,' Kate wept.

'But that's just it Kate…you're not alone anymore, you have so many people who love you and will support you through this,' Alexis soothed as she rubbed her hand up and down her mom's back. 'And regardless of how this plays out, we will be here to support you….always,'

'God how did I get so lucky….I don't deserve you or your dad or your grams….and I'm terrified of losing you,' Alexis pulled a sobbing Kate into her arms and clung to her. She placed a gentle kiss on her mom's forehead before resting her head on top.

'You're not going to lose us….after everything we've been through to get here do you honestly think any one of us would just walk away from you?' Alexis soothed. 'I look at the love and support you've given me, particularly in the past couple of months…..something my own mother has rarely given me…..and I love you so much and there is no way I could ever just walk away from you now, neither could Grams or dad,' she said softly as she carded her fingers through Kate's hair.

'You sound so sure,'

'I am…you know why?'

'Why?' Kate asked as she sat back.

'Because we're talking, because you're sharing your fears with me,' Alexis started. 'There were so many times before you and dad got together, where he would come home so frustrated and angry because you refused to talk to him, refused to open up to him,' she continued. 'And I would just get angrier with you because you refused to see what dad was offering you….but in all fairness while I knew the basics of your mom's murder and the effect it had on you….I didn't know the extent until recently,'

'Your dad was just trying to protect you.' Kate justified.

'Yeah I know but I don't need protecting anymore,' Alexis complained.

Both Kate and Alexis startle when they heard the front door open then close quickly again. 'It doesn't matter how old your children get,' Rick said as quickly walked to the couch and sat beside his wife pulling her into a hug. 'You will always want to protect them,' giving his daughter a pointed look, Rick shut down the long running argument between father and daughter. 'Ryan rang me to find out if you were ok…..Kate why didn't you call me,' Rick asked as he pulled back from his wife.

'To be honest Rick…until I found myself talking to Alexis I didn't even realise I was home,' Rick looked at his daughter with such love and pride she had to look away.

'Hey sweetheart, how're you doing?' Rick asked his daughter.

'I'm good dad, you can stop worrying about me as well,' she grumbled as her dad gave her an incredulous look.

'Yeah that's never gonna happen either,' he stated as he felt Kate snuggle further into his embrace. 'So it's all over the news that Bracken's lodging an appeal,' Rick felt his wife grip him tighter. 'Ryan said you'd been called down town this morning, I take it this is why?' Kate nodded against his shoulder but remained silent.

'So what happens now?' Alexis asked.

Kate turned in her husband's arms so she was facing her daughter. 'Nothing…..tomorrow you get on a plane and go to Europe for the summer…'

'Yeah but…'

'No buts' her mom said shutting down her daughter's argument. 'You go to Europe and spend a wonderful month with your best friend and then you come home to start the journey to becoming the next Federal Coroner,'

'I thought it was Chief Medical Examiner?' Alexis bantered back.

'Yeah well I promoted you, either way Lanie can't wait to have you back again,'

'Kate's right pumpkin…you also need to keep fighting city hall to get your book buddies program up and running,'

'It would be a lot easier if my mother was say…a State Senator,' Alexis grumbled.

'Sorry sweetie but it would actually be a lot harder if I was a State Senator,' Kate explained. 'Some sectors would liken it to favouritism,'

'It's a cat shelter mom,'

'Cat shelter one day…bribing government officials the next,' Kate justified.

'Seriously? That's a leap even for you,'

'How do you think Bracken started out…as the DA he had such good intentions on how to clean up crime in the city,' Kate started. 'And no I have never and would never abuse my power…but not everyone sees it that way…you know first-hand that there's people out there whose sole purpose in life is to dig up or make up dirt on people,' Alexis nodded her head as she lowered her gaze.

'Hey come here,' Kate murmured as she opened her arms as Alexis allowed herself to be pulled in for a hug. Relaxing against her mom she also felt her dad's arms wrap around her. 'I love you and I know you're here to support me….but I also want you to live your life on your own terms,' she whispered to her daughter.

'Love you too.' Alexis murmured.

'You know I vaguely remember hearing something about cheese toasties earlier,' Kate said as Alexis giggled and sat back up again.

Alexis rose from the couch and walked towards to the kitchen. 'Yeah I was gonna make some lunch…..I'll go start them,'

Kate turned back to her husband and pulled him in for a sensuous kiss, a promise for later. 'Go help our baby while I freshen up,' she said as she too rose from the couch pulling Rick up with her. Rick pulled his wife in for a quick hug before heading to kitchen.

Rick found Alexis standing at the sink lost in thought. 'Hey sweetheart, what do you need done,'

'Is Kate ok?' she asked as she turned to her dad as she tried to wipe away her tears.

'Oh baby, come here,'

'I was so scared,' she sobbed as she clung to her father.

'I know sweetheart, but you were so brave and you knew exactly what to do,' Rick hugged his daughter tightly in reassurance. 'I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you,'

Alexis leaned back in her dad's arms and looked up at him. 'It's not your fault dad, you couldn't have known….I didn't even know until I realised Kate wasn't answering me,'

'But you're both here for me now and that's what counts,' Kate said as she entered the kitchen. 'And I'm so sorry I scared you,' Kate smoothed her daughter's hair away from her face.

'Again not your fault,' Alexis reassured as she stepped into her mom's arms.

'Hey where's the ham?' Rick asked as he closed the fridge door.

'In the bin…judging by the smell it could've walked there itself,' Alexis grumbled from where her face was buried in her mom's neck.

'How about we order pizza instead,' he suggested.

'Yeah but I want cheese toasties,' Kate complained.

'Me too,'

Rick held his hands up in surrender. 'Ok cheese toasties it is,'

'So how did you're meeting go this morning,' Kate asked as moved to sit at the kitchen counter.

'Good, I've been asked back to ComicCon this year…they're offering me a panel and everything,' Rick's childlike enthusiasm making Kate smile.

'Wow that is so cool dad…..judging on how good San Diego's been this past week, New York looks like it will be awesome,'

'I know right!' Rich responded with excitement. 'Star Wars, X-Files, Man of Steel,' Alexis blushed as Kate laughed. 'What?' he asked.

'Nothing,' both women said at the same time as they giggled.

'Anyway I'm really excited in catching up with Nathan Fillion and Alan Tudyk after following their Con Man escapades over the past couple of months,'

'And of course it's the tenth anniversary of Firefly,' Alexis interjected.

'And yes daughter dear there is that,'

Kate sat silently listening to her husband and daughter. Are you all packed….yes dad…where's your passport…...in my carry on….do you have enough money….why are you offering me more….are we still meeting up with you in Paris…..only if you want to, you don't have too.

'We'll be there sweetie,' Kate interjected before sitting back and silently absorbing the conversation again. She grabbed hold of the peace she felt at this moment in time, because she knew at some point in the not too distant future she would need to ground herself in this memory just as she would need to ground herself in her family.

But unlike the previous times she'd come up against her mother's killer, this time she wasn't alone and that would make the fight this time survivable.


	8. A New Place to Call Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because you're the cusp of adulthood and all the responsibilities that with being a grown-up, you'll always be somebody's little girl.

'Come on, come on, come on,' Detective Kate Beckett sighed in frustration as she leaned against the back wall of the lift and tapped her foot impatiently. Feeling the lift slow, the Detective straightened her jacket and skirt, smoothed her hair and checked her weapon in preparation of exiting the lift once it reached her designated floor.

Thankful the building had off street parking; Kate had made up the ten minutes she was running late for her rendezvous this evening.

As soon as the doors opened, the stunning brunette strode purposefully down the hallway towards her meeting point, but slowed her hurried pace to an almost tiptoe when she heard voices filter through the open door to her left.

Detective Beckett stood silently against the wall just beyond view of the occupants in the room and watched on in silence. So much planning and conspiring had gone into setting up this meeting, but Beckett needed to gage the mood of the room before entering. Judging from the frustrated voices coming from just beyond the doorway, she was hoping she could salvage the meeting she'd so carefully planned.

'Grams stop touching things!'

'Oh darling it's not like I'm riffling through the woman's lingerie draws for heaven's sake, and what's a little healthy curiosity between friends,' waving a hand with dismissal, Martha continued to inspect the room, every now and then touching something or picking it up for closer inspection before setting it down again.

'Grams we don't even know who lives' here….wait….you know why we're here don't you!' Alexis challenged her grandmother.

'Oh my darling girl…'

'No don't you my darling girl me…..I know this isn't your new apartment so why are we here?' Kate nearly gave her position away as she stifled a laugh at her daughter. Alexis folding her arms and huffing in annoyance was a site to behold.

'My my Kiddo, you really are cranky when you haven't had enough sleep'

'Don't change the subject Grams, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I've spend the afternoon filling out paperwork and being yelled at by Lanie about cutting my hair, I'm sick of everyone yelling at me about my hair I like my hair…I haven't had time to unpack my suitcase I've run out of clean clothes and I just want to go home!' Alexis stopped short and slapped her hand over her mouth when she realised what a whining brat she sounded like. 'I'm sorry Grams, I didn't mean to yell at you,' the poor girl felt terrible for becoming so upset at her grandmother.

'Oh I'm sorry sweetheart, maybe tonight wasn't such a good idea after all,' Martha said as she hugged her granddaughter tightly. 'I'm sure Katherine and you're father will be here any minute and then we can go home'

'Why are we meeting dad and Kate here?'

Kate felt a pang of uncertainty; maybe they all should have waited until Alexis had had a chance to recover properly from her vacation. But both Rick and Martha had assured Kate her plan was ingenious. However with her recent promotion to Captain, Rick deciding to return to being private investigator, Martha moving into her new apartment and Alexis starting back at the morgue next week, the family wouldn't have much free time to spend together in the coming weeks.

Kate thought it was best to make her presence known before her jetlagged and very cantankerous daughter became even more exasperated with her poor grandmother. It didn't help that Martha had just let the cat out of the bag.

Swallowing the last of her trepidation, Kate took a calming breath and entered her old apartment. 'Hi guys, sorry I'm running late, I'm sure I killed a small forest filling out paperwork today,' Kate dropped her bag just inside the doorway and walked towards Martha.

Martha pulled her daughter-in-law in for a hug, thankful Kate had finally arrived. 'Oh Katherine no apology required, I know I keep telling you, but I'm just so proud of you my darling girl….Captain Katherine Beckett,' Kate blushed at Martha's praise. 'I'm so glad you're finally here,' Martha whispered as she pulled Kate closer. 'I wasn't sure how much longer I could distract our Little Miss Grumpy,'

Since her promotion was announced two weeks ago, Kate had received nothing but congratulations and well wishes from her many friends and colleagues. Her only regret when her Captaincy was announced was that Alexis had been in Sweden with Paige, and she couldn't share the news with her daughter in person. She and Rick on the other hand had celebrated many many times that night.

'Thankyou Martha, although my official appointment doesn't happen until next month,' Kate smiled as she pulled back from Martha's hug. 'But I figured because I had to spend the afternoon at One PP I'd better dress the part,'

'Well you look stunning, but then you always do,' Martha gushed. 'So where's Richard, wasn't he was supposed to be meeting us here too?' Martha questioned.

Kate looked at her daughter with concern; so far the young redhead had remained silent. 'He rang to let me know he's on his way, he needed to make a quick stop to see Henry,'

'Oh what's that boy done now that he needs to see his lawyer,' Kate didn't have the heart to tell Martha that she was over-acting just a little. However Martha must have caught the look on Kate's face and her shoulders slumped. 'Well I guess it's no use trying to keep up the charade any longer then is it Kiddo,' Martha signed as she looked towards her granddaughter. 'Hopefully your cousin Sofia has just as good a taste in wine as you do Katherine,' Kate just rolled her eyes as she watched her mother-in-law make her way to the kitchen.

Alexis stood rooted to the same spot she'd been standing in for the last five minutes. Her grand-mother could be heard muttering while she opened and closed kitchen cabinets and slamming draws before the matriarch cried 'Eureka!'

Kate could feel Alexis's stare boring into her, but continued to watch as Martha poured herself a very large glass of red wine. Detective Beckett was strategically using these few extra seconds to prepare herself for her daughter's questioning.

'Kate what the hell's going on?' straight to the point, _'that's my girl'_ Kate thought. 'I take it from all the subterfuge and secrecy this is your old apartment….so why are we here?' Alexis demanded. Kate sighed as she walked over to her daughter and took her hand with a gentle squeeze.

Alexis looked exhausted. The young redhead being the perfectionist and workaholic she was, had refused to take a few days to recover from her vacation, instead heading back to her cat shelter to help Mrs. Moore prepare for the final inspection from the health department and social services.

Then from the worried phone call Kate had taken from Lanie this afternoon, Alexis had spent most of the day completing her orientation and paperwork before starting back at the morgue next week, instead of spending the day at home resting as suggested by her dad.

And as everyone in the Castle household knew, an exhausted Alexis was a grumpy, irritable and somewhat irrational Alexis. Just like her father and grandmother.

The young redhead tried to pull away from Kate's grasp in frustration, but Kate refused to relinquish her hold. 'Come here,' Kate pulled Alexis into her arms and held her tightly. Her daughter initially struggled, but then relaxed and buried her face into her mom's neck as she wrapped her arms around Kate's waist.

Gently rocking side to side, Kate ran her hands up and down Alexis's back in a soothing caress. 'I love your hair.' Kate murmured.

'I love my hair too,' Alexis laughed, or sobbed, Kate couldn't work out which as Alexis clung to her. 'And you totally rock a skirt Captain Beckett,' Kate laughed and gripped her daughter tighter. Maybe tonight wouldn't be a bust after all.

Kate looked over Alexis's head to kitchen where her mother-in-law was standing behind the counter; Martha saluted Kate with her glass of red before disappearing into the living room. From the soft volume of the television coming from the rear of the apartment, it appeared Martha had made herself quite at home. _'At least someone likes the place'_ Kate thought to herself.

'I'm sorry I haven't had any time to spend with you since you got home,' Alexis squeezed her mom tighter, and Kate knew she'd said the right thing. 'And I'm sorry for springing this on you tonight as well….I know you're tired,' Kate felt Alexis nodding. 'Lanie called looking for you after you left the morgue, she feels so bad for the way she spoke to you this afternoon,' Alexis shrugged before settling again.

'Kate, are you in here?' Kate looked towards the still open front door as her husband poked his head around the corner.

'In here,' she replied softly.

'Hey,' he said, giving his wife a closed mouth smile. 'Everything OK?' Rick asked as he nodded towards his daughter who was still wrapped in Kate's arms.

Watching the way Kate loved his daughter made him fall in love with her all over again. He didn't think it was possible to love her any more that he already did. Rick was also kind of embarrassed that it also made him lust after his wife. He couldn't wait…. _'nope don't go there'_ Rick thought to himself as he felt the blush rise up his neck.

'Nothing a proper meal and a good night's sleep won't fix,' Kate gave her husband a knowing look; she knew exactly what her husband was thinking. Rick deposited the large envelope he was carrying on the table beside the door and walked over to his wife and daughter.

'And clean clothes….I need clean clothes,' Alexis pulled back from her mom and wiped her face on her hem of her t-shirt. 'Hey dad,' Alexis allowed her father to pull her for a quick hug. 'Hey sweetheart,' he replied as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

'Hey you,' Rick moved to his wife and pulled her in for kiss. 'Missed you today,'

'Missed you too,' Kate whispered as she pulled Rick back in for another kiss.

'So…now everyone's here, can someone tell me what's going on?...guys…..seriously?' both Kate and Rick ignored their daughter as they deepened their kiss. It had become an ongoing joke between them about how much they could embarrass Alexis with their public displays of affection. 'Ok you can stop now; you've successfully grossed me out,' Alexis rolled her eyes at the pair and headed to the back of the apartment in search of her grandmother.

'Hi,' Rick murmured as they broke from their kiss and he caressed his wife's nose with Eskimo kisses.

'Hi,' Kate whispered back before pulling her husband in for another sensuous kiss. As they broke again, Rick was spellbound by the arousal he saw in his wife's eyes. 'Baby making later writer boy,'

'Man…writer man,' Rick pouted as he squeezed his wife. 'God I want you,' he murmured.

Kate was deliciously distracted by the sensual caress of her husband's lips as he kissed his way down her neck towards the open collar of her shirt.

'Babe I want you too, so bad,' Kate leaned her head to the left so her husband had better access to her neck. 'But right now we have one very cranky redhead, who I'm sure thinks we're kicking her out,'

'But mother's already moved out…ow…..APPLES!' Rick exclaimed. Kate was so fast Rick didn't see his wife raise her right hand until he felt his ear being painfully twisted. His wife had an extremely devious wicked side that still surprised him after all these years.

'Seriously Castle…time to man up don't you think,' Rick was so turned on right now, he'd just been rebuked by Captain Beckett….in a skirt….and she was hot as hell.

'Oh Katherine I've been telling him that for years, hopefully you'll have more success than I ever did,' Martha strode into the kitchen and deposited her now empty wine glass in the sink. Kate laughed as she watched her man-child husband sulk. 'Richard I'm starving, how about we go for a lovely evening stroll around the neighbourhood, we can find some dinner and bring it back,' Kate sent her mother-in-law a grateful smile.

'Why do I have to go? Can't we just order in or pick something up on the way home?' he whined. Rick wanted to check on his daughter and get his wife home. Captain Kate Beckett in a skirt was a sight to behold, and he was desperate to behold her.

'Richard, I'm trying my best to be subtle here,' Martha exclaimed as she retrieved her light weight jacket from the coat rack by the door and handed it to her son. 'Let's go get dinner so Kate can explain to Alexis what all the secrecy and plotting was about tonight….I swear darling, you're my son and I love you, but you're as thick as two bricks at times,' Kate let out an undignified snort as her husband helped his mother into her jacket.

'Et tu Mrs. Castle?' Rick clutched dramatically at his heart. 'Mother, are you sure you need your jacket, it's still fairly warm out there,' Martha just gave her son a look. 'Fine,' he sighed in surrender.

'What are you in the mood for?' Rick asked as he waggled is eyebrows suggestively at his wife. 'Indian, pizza, Thai?' he rattled off.

'Surprise me,' Kate countered

'Chinese it its then,' Rick smirked and winked. 'Come along mother, let me introduce to the best little Chinese restaurant this side of Manhattan,'

'Well hopefully darling we'll be visiting this neighbourhood on a regular basis in the future, it's very nice don't you think?'

'Yes I do mother, yes I do,' Rick sent is wife a loving smile before closing the front door as he exited the apartment.

Kate sighed as she looked around her former home; she removed her jacket and shoes and placed them by her bag near the door ensuring her weapon was secured inside her bag.

Even after permanently moving into the loft, this place still felt like home, and Kate hoped Alexis would feel the same way. Her cousin Sofia had the same eclectic taste in furniture and décor as Kate, but preferred minimalism to Kate's almost thrift shop style. She could definitely see Alexis's bohemian elegance in here.

She glanced at the envelope Rick had left on the entry hall table, but decided to leave it where it was. Kate already knew its contents, but would wait for Rick before they went through them with Alexis.

Grabbing a couple bottles of beer from the fridge, Kate wandered to the living room in search of her daughter.

'Say Yes To The Dress…seriously?' Kate sassed as she handed Alexis a beer.

'Guilty pleasure, promise me we'll never fight like this when I get married?' Alexis teased as she thanked her mom; Kate dropped a gentle kiss on Alexis's forehead before sitting next to her.

Twisting the top off the bottle with practiced precision, the young redhead took a large swig. 'So, if tonight went as you'd planned it, what was supposed to happen,' Alexis asked.

Kate reached over and grabbed the remote off the coffee table as she sat next to her daughter; Monte was just about to jack up a future bride as Kate turned off the TV. 'Well contrary to popular opinion, voiced or otherwise, you're not being kicked out of home,' Kate stated and watched as Alexis sighed in relief. 'I wanted you to fall in love with this place, so you had an option when you were ready to move out'

Alexis looked at Kate with confusion. 'But doesn't your cousin live here? '

'She does, but your dad and I had dinner with Sofia and her boyfriend Nathan last week, well he's her fiancé now,' Kate smiled. 'They're getting married next May and they've decided to move to Australia after the wedding,'

'Australia?' Alexis couldn't imagine moving so far away from her family.

'Yeah, Nathan's from Melbourne and wants to move back home, they both want to. When Sofia moved in here she'd just come home from a two year working holiday, she met Nathan when she was working in Sydney.'

'So where's Sofia tonight? I hope she won't mind that Grams was poking around the place, or that she opened a bottle of wine, or we're drinking her beer,' Alexis felt so embarrassed at her grandmother's prying.

'Sofia's up in Boston, she's taken Nathan to meet her parents,' Kate explained. 'When I mentioned to her you wanted to move out next year, Sofia suggested I bring you by this week so you could get a feel for the place, and of course your grandmother wanted to put on a production worthy of Shakespeare,' Kate sighed. 'Except tonight's turned out more like a Monty Python sketch,'

'Well don't tell Grams, but I prefer Monty Python to Shakespeare,' Alexis joked and Kate laughed. 'I didn't realise you owned your apartment, I just thought you rented it, that your cousin took over the lease when you moved into the loft,'

Kate looked around the living room; the memories made here as strong now as they were when she lived here. 'No I owned it…still own it,' she clarified. 'You're dad helped me find it when I was looking for an apartment after my first place…well you know….blew up,' Alexis laughed but tried to cover it up by pretending to choke on her beer. Kate just smirked at her daughter. 'I couldn't believe my luck….I fell in love with this place the moment I stepped through the front door,'

'Um I don't want to sound rude….'

'How did I afford it?' Kate interjected as Alexis nodded. 'My family wasn't poor, my parents were both lawyers and I had a very comfortable upbringing, and mom and dad invested wisely. After my mom died, there was a substantial insurance payout that dad invested for me, I considered it blood money at the time and wanted nothing to do with it,' Kate looked at Alexis and smiled when she felt her daughter squeeze her hand.

'When I graduated from the Academy, my dad in one of his rare sober moments at the time sat me down and said 'Katie, your mom would want you to use this money to secure you're future.' Alexis giggled at Kate's impersonation of Jim. 'So I bought my first apartment….that you know….blew up….stop laughing or I'll take your beer away from you,' Kate groused as she swatted her daughters arm.

'I'm sorry Kate, but you gotta admit it's kinda funny when you say it that way,' Alexis teased. 'And I'm legally allowed to drink now, so no you can't take my beer away from me,' she challenged and laughed even harder at the _'you wanna bet'_ look Kate was giving her.

Alexis tried to control her giggling, between her jetlag, sleep deprivation and alcohol her head was feeling very fuzzy. 'So why didn't you sell when you moved into the loft? You would've made a fortune from this place; I mean it's….perfect,' Alexis wasn't getting her hopes up, the young redhead had no idea what her mom was up too, but there was no way she could afford this place.

Kate felt relief at knowing Alexis's first impression was good. 'I was going to sell, but your dad, my dad, even your dad's lawyer Henry convinced me to keep it as an investment and then Sofia needed somewhere to live,' Kate stopped to gather her thoughts before she continued, she was now moving into unchartered territory.

Being married to Alexis's dad was one thing; even giving him advice on the workings of a teenage girls mind over the years didn't cross the line. While Rick had given her his blessing, Kate still felt trepidation at giving Alexis advice, particularly about something as serious as moving out and property investment; especially after the fiasco with Pi.

'But if I'm going to be honest with you, I was hoping you'd love it as much I as do, so when you were ready to move out, it would save you the time and hassle of finding somewhere to live,' Kate held her breath and waited for Alexis's reaction.

Alexis had sat silently as she listened to her mom. 'Wait so you're offering it to me to rent?' the redhead asked in confusion.

'No I want you to buy it,' Kate clarified.

Alexis nearly spat her beer out at her mom's statement. 'Kate I'm a third year college graduate on a part time intern's wage….how am I supposed to buy this? I couldn't even afford the rent!' Alexis laughed.

'Your dad has set you up a sizeable trust fund….'

'No that's dad's money,' Alexis objected quickly, when would Kate understand that to Alexis, where her father's money was concerned it always felt like she was taking charity from him?

'No it's yours…..'

'Kate….'

'Honey, please just hear me out,' Kate reached for Alexis's hand as her daughter huffed out a frustrated breath. 'I know you see your trust fund as some sort of charity at best, sponging off your dad at worst,' Kate knew she'd hit the nail on the head when her daughter blushed and look away.

'But your father has worked so hard his whole life to achieve what he has, to make sure he could give you the best life he could. And he's raised you to be exactly the same,' Kate looked at her daughter with pride. 'And yes he's amassed a great deal of wealth…..OK he's loaded, but he's also been very generous in sharing that wealth with charities, setting up scholarships and I believe a particular cat shelter?' Alexis looked down at their joined hands with embarrassment. 'Hey, you don't have that mane of hair to hide behind anymore kiddo,' Kate teased.

Alexis took another swig of her beer. 'I just…..I've grown up with money, I know what it's like to have the best of everything, to go to the best schools, to have opportunities most people only dream about…and there are times I feel so guilty about it, God knows other people love to make me feel guilty about it,'

'Baby, you can't live your life based on what others think of you, we've had this conversation already,' it broke Kate's heart that Alexis was still insecure about what people thought of her, that she still to a degree, let those fears rule her life.

'And yes you've had a lot of opportunities others will never have,' Kate continued. 'But you've earned every single one of them, particularly when it came to your schooling. And your dad didn't just buy you things because he could,' Kate tried to keep her frustration in check. 'He taught you that if you wanted something, you had to work to earn it,'

The damage the whole cyberbullying incident did to Alexis was still causing her daughter to doubt herself. 'Honey you're not some narcissistic trust fund celebutant posting every second of your self-obsessed existence on social media!' Kate exclaimed, Lord knows she'd met way too many shallow egotistical rich kids in her time. Alexis was like a breath of fresh air in a sea of selfishness and self-importance.

'Bad day at the office?' Alexis asked with a smirk.

'No smarty pants, but if I remember correctly,' she continued. 'There have been times you've tried to hide the fact your father is rich,' Alexis smiled and rolled her eyes at her mom, because she always knew the right thing to say. 'The time he set the trap in the refrigerator to find out whom was stealing food because you didn't want to ask for more allowance,' Kate laughed.

'Do you have any idea how long it took to get that blue dye out? Not to mention having to go back to the dorm looking like Sassette Smurf,' Alexis laughed; her dad was such an immature child at times.

'Trust me; I had words with your father after that particular incident,' Kate smiled as she reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her daughter's ear.

'I also remember meeting this gangly fresh faced fifteen year old nearly eight years ago at a swanky book signing. And this teenager, well she was more worried about doing her homework than me arresting her father on suspicion of murder,' Alexis giggled as Kate smiled at the memory.

'And I've had the privilege of watching that teenager grow into the beautiful, intelligent and companionate young woman that I'm so proud she allows me to call her my daughter,' Kate was struggling to see through her tears, but she needed Alexis to know that the only person's opinion she needed to value was her own.

'The woman you've grown into? That can't be bought, it doesn't matter how rich or poor a person is….it all comes down to love and nurturing, the events and experiences in your life that help shape you and the people who help guide you, but ultimately…it comes down to who you are as person in here,' Kate tugged their joined hands until they rested over her heart. 'OK?'

'OK,' Alexis whispered, her voice wavering with unshed tears.

Kate noted that Alexis was fixated on where their hands were resting just above her left breast. 'You can ask,' Kate whispered.

'Does it still hurt…the scars I mean,' Alexis had never seen the scars from Kate's shooting, but just knowing they were there was enough of a reminder of how close they'd all come to losing the family they've become. It was the one topic they'd never spoken about.

'Sometimes, particularly during winter if I haven't warmed up properly, it can hurt like a son of a bitch,' Kate said as she let their joined hands drop back to her lap.

'I thought it was dad…I thought dad had been shot...you both went down together and I tried to get to him, but Detective Ryan had pushed me and Grams to the ground, it wasn't until they were loading you into the ambulance that I knew dad was ok,' Alexis looked down at their joined hands; the now warm bottle of beer still clutched in her other hand.

'But somehow we all made it out the other side, and here we are…..a family….so enough of the morbid stuff, are you gonna show me around?' Kate shook her head at her daughter's sudden change in direction. Talk about a segway.

'In a minute, I just want to spend some time and catch up with you; we haven't spoken properly in over a month,' Kate watched as Alexis leaned over and placed her beer bottle on the coffee table, letting go of her hand in the process. 'We'll save the European Vacation stuff for when you're dad and Grams get back, how's everything else going? Did you get all your permits for the cat shelter?'

Alexis sat back with her legs tucked under, her knees resting against her mom's thigh as she settled and leaned against the back of the couch. Even after the hard work both women had put into their relationship, the young redhead was still getting used to having Kate care about her, love her. And Alexis made no secret that she thought of Kate as not only her mom, but her best friend. This is what Alexis had wanted since she was a little girl, since Meredith had abandoned her. And she was thankful once again the day Kate entered all their lives.

'Yeah final inspection was yesterday, we've satisfied all the requirements of Health and Human Services and Juvenile Services,' Alexis said with pride. 'Thank you again so much for helping me with all the paperwork for the DOJ, I'm sure we'd still be wading our way through the volunteer screening process if it weren't for you and your dad,'

'You're welcome,' Kate smiled softly as she squeezed her daughter's knee, allowing her hand to rest on Alexis's thigh. 'I can't tell you how excited my dad was when I told him you were going to ask him for help,'

It was just another relationship Alexis had gained over the past few months, first a mom and now a grandpa. 'There's no way I would have even known where to start if it weren't for your dad, and I have to find a way to thank Captain Gates and all the guys from the Twelfth for their help, their letters of recommendation helped so much.'

'So when do you think you'll get the final OK?'

'Hopefully early next week, so by the end of next month we should have our Book Buddies program up and running,' Kate was so proud of Alexis; her daughter had worked relentlessly to make she'd completed all the required paperwork, submissions and supporting documentation before she left for Europe. Alexis, with Jim's help, had manoeuvred her way through the minefield of bureaucratic paperwork and red tape like a General on a battlefield.

'That's wonderful news, and let me know if there's anything your dad and I can do,'

'I have an idea or two,' Alexis just had to work up the courage to ask her parents to read Driving Heat at a charity night she was planning for the opening of the Book Buddies program. Maybe even turn it into the book launch.

Mother and daughter sat in companionable silence for a moment before Alexis spoke. 'And thanks for coming with dad to meet Paige and I in Paris, I wish you'd told me you didn't have any vacation days left, because I wouldn't have asked if I'd known,' Alexis's soft voice was full of guilt at the thought of her mom giving up paid work days. 'You didn't have to come just because I wanted to visit the Eiffel Tower,'

'Hey, if it made you feel safe and gain control of what happened to you when you were kidnapped, I would do it again in heartbeat,' Kate blushed, Alexis was looking at her with such adoration it almost made her feel uncomfortable.

'Can I let you in on a little secret?' Alexis nodded at Kate's sly remark. 'Well apparently in the eyes of the NYPD employment award, I'm now a mom, and that means I get parental leave,'

'Yeah but I thought that was only if you have a baby or your kid is sick,'

'You know I thought that too, it was Captain Gates who pointed out to me that parental leave could be used any way I wanted to use it so long as I was looking after my child,'

'But I'm not your kid and last time I checked I was legally an adult,' Alexis argued.

Kate just gave Alexis a knowing smile. 'Sorry but I beg to differ…about the _'not being my kid'_ bit, because you've kinda been my kid since you were sixteen,'

'Kate, having legal power of attorney is one thing…but,'

'But what?' Kate challenged. 'I do have power of attorney with regards to your trust fund and your dad's estate, but your dad also made me you're legal guardian if anything were to happen to him…you didn't know that?' Kate asked at Alexis's confused look.

'I thought it was just power of attorney, dad never mentioned guardianship….I thought Meredith would have had to have signed off on that,' Alexis questioned.

' _Oh shit'_ Kate thought to herself. 'Um maybe we should wait until your dad gets back,'

'No Kate, please I'm not mad. I know dad had sole custody of me, I just assumed that if anything happened to him, guardianship would automatically go to mom unless….she didn't want it,'

Kate gave her daughter a sad smile and took her hand again. 'When your dad first approached me…it wasn't long after we wrapped up the curse of the mummy case, as he loves to call it, I asked him the same thing,' Kate sighed softly knowing she was about to break her daughter's heart again where Meredith was concerned. 'He told me he'd informed your mom, as a matter of courtesy…,'

'Don't tell me…so long as she still got her alimony she didn't care,' Alexis interjected.

'I wouldn't put it that way….'

'Potato potahto Kate…where Meredith is concerned money talks the loudest….look Kate I know Meredith loves me, and in her own weird way she loves being my mom….she just doesn't want to be a mom, if that makes any sense,' the maturity with which Alexis spoke just made Kate all that prouder of her. 'Besides, knowing that I've kinda belonged to you for the last six years, even when things were bad between you and dad….that's all that matters to me,' the young redhead said shyly as distractively picked at a loose thread on her jeans.

' _Oh wow'_ was all Kate could think as she stilled Alexis's hand. 'Any way,' Kate said, trying to get the conversation back on track again. 'I get parental leave because I have a kid, and it just so happened that my kid needed me OK?' Alexis leaned forward until her head rested on her mom's shoulder.

'Fine,'

'What's with the tone, you don't believe me?' Kate rested her head atop her daughter's and waited.

'Yeah I do, it's just that….I'll be moving out and you and dad will have kids and I'll get married one day….' Oh not for the first time did Kate wish her mom were alive, because right now she'd be calling her to apologise. Kate remembered having exactly the same conversation with her mom before she moved across the country to go to Stanford.

'And what?' Kate sat upright again, she cupped Alexis's chin to encourage her daughter to look at her. 'You think we'll forget about you? You think because you move out your dad and I stop being your parents, that you stop being our daughter,' Alexis blushed and tried to avert her eyes. 'Hey, regardless of how old you get, or when you get married and make us grandparents, you will always be our daughter and we will love you and worry about until the day we die, just like my dad worries about me, your Grams worries about your dad,' Kate pulled Alexis into a hug and squeezed her tight.

'Yeah but dad gives Grams reason to worry,' Alexis laughed as she sat back again. 'Speaking of dad and Grams, they been gone for a while,'

'You know your Grams gives as good as she gets,' Kate teased. 'And Martha wanted to give us some time alone, give us a chance to talk…and for me to explain what tonight was about, so I estimate they'd be on their sixth lap of the block by now giving the neighbours something to gossip about,' Kate could just picture Rick and Martha bickering on the sidewalk as Rick was dragged along behind his mother.

'So…..Captain hu?' Alexis said proudly, so glad Kate decided to stay with the NYPD.

'Yeah, Captain…..you're not disappointed I didn't pursue politics?' Kate asked. Alexis's opinion was important to her because it affected her life as well.

'I've already told you that I'd support you whatever you decided to do,' Alexis smiled shyly, wishing she still had her curtain of hair to hide behind. 'Thank you for calling me when you found out…and if I'm being completely honest, I'm glad you chose to apply for Captaincy…I'm not ready to share you with the world yet, I like having you all to myself,' wow, that was not what Kate expected. 'So when are you officially Captain Beckett?' Alexis asked excitedly.

'September twenty first, I'll be spending the next couple of weeks transitioning with Captain Gates before she starts down at One PP,' Kate reached out again to smooth Alexis's now short hair off her face again.

'September's going to be a big month in the Castle household,' Alexis smiled tiredly at her mom as Kate nodded her head. 'You don't mind that dad's reopening his PI Agency?'

'Ask me that question in a couple of weeks and I'll let you know,' Kate teased. 'So have you got your shifts for next week?'

'Yep, can you believe it's Doctor Purlmutter who wants to ease me back in? I know people think he's a jerk, but when you get to know him, he's actually a really good mentor and teacher,' Kate didn't want to say anything to Alexis, but she was worried her daughter would be taken advantage of, particularly with the shortage of staff at the Medical Examiner's office.

'And what about your shelter; how will that work?'

'I'll be doing around ten hours a week, most of them on a Saturday or Sunday, depending on my roster at the morgue,' Alexis explained. 'There's been a lot of interest in the program; one of the volunteers Mrs Hamilton is a retired teacher and has taken on being the Education Co-ordinator….so many people and organisations have offered help, everything from donating books to cat food and furniture for the reading room,' Alexis looked at her mom with tears in her eyes.

'And it all started because of a picture on Facebook, and I can't thank you and dad enough for supporting me in doing this…because I'm pretty sure this is what I want to do with my life,' Kate wiped the tears from her daughter's cheeks.

'And what's that?' Kate held her breath, hoping Alexis was going in the direction Kate knew her daughter's heart truly laid.

'I want work in the community and help people, I just need to work out in what capacity,' Alexis looked around the living room as she gathered her thoughts. But the young redhead knew this is where her heart and passion laid.

'The one thing I've learnt from my time listing to you, working with Lanie and now the shelter, there are so many people out there who have no-one to speak up for them, or help them….and I hate that and I want to do something to change that,' Alexis shrugged as she gave Kate a sad smile.

Kate couldn't help it; she burst into tears, her sweet, beautiful, companionate daughter. 'Oh Baby I am so proud of you,' Alexis was relieved and a little confused at Kate's reaction as she hugged her mom back.

'So you're OK with this? I don't even know what to do next'

'Honey it wouldn't matter if I'm ok with it or not, so long as you're happy with your decision,' Kate sat back and wiped the tears from her face. She'd felt emotional and of kilter for the past week, but just put it down to the excitement of her promotion and approaching that time of the month. 'But I've known you long enough to know that this…what you're doing helping the community? This is where your passion and your heart has always been…and give it time, you'll find what you want to do,' Kate said confidently.

'I couldn't have done any of it without you or dad,' Alexis shook her head as she tried to find the right words. 'The support, the late night talks….the love,' she said shyly. 'I would never have achieved any of this without you, your guidance and advice and in particular your patience with me…and not just since you and dad got married….and I just want to thank you for becoming my mom, because you didn't have too and I would have been happy with you just being my friend and I would have even been happy with you being just another Gina so long as dad was happy….and I think I should stop now,' both Alexis and Kate laughed through their tears at the redheads rambling, because for Alexis, this was the conversation the last few months had been building up to.

'You've spent way too much time with Paige,' Kate laughed as the two women sat wiping their tears, the last shred of doubt between the two gone and what was left was a relationship built on hard work, forgiveness and love.

'I would've been happy if you tolerated me, because I never wanted to become between you and your dad,' Kate felt it was only fair to be as honest as Alexis. 'But that day at lunch, when you introduced me to your friends as your mom….I'll admit my heart did little flip flops,' Alexis giggled at her mom.

'After that, I followed your lead because I was happy to be whatever you needed me to be….but after 3XK I didn't want to just follow your lead anymore, because I realised how much I'd come to love you, how important you'd become to me and then after London….for the first time since I met your dad, I was standing in his shoes, I finally understood the worry and concern he constantly had for you,' it had come as almost an epiphany to Kate.

For so many years she'd been the voice of reason where Alexis was concerned on the workings of the young female mind. But then one day, Kate was standing in Rick's shoes, and finally understood his worry and concern every time he asked her advice.

'Just think of it as practice for the next one,' Alexis teased.

'Doesn't matter how many come along, you'll always been my daughter and I'll always be your mom ok?' Alexis nodded her head because her voice was clogged with tears, and allowed herself to relax in her mother's arms.

'Kate?'

'Hmm,'

'What's in the envelope dad brought with him?' Alexis sat back as Kate rose from the couch and moved to the front of the apartment. She retrieved the large package and came to sit next to her daughter again.

'As you've probably guessed from tonight's comedy of errors,' Kate felt giggle from where her daughters head rested on her shoulder. 'We were all hoping that you'd fall in love with this place and it would eventually become yours, but I need you to know there's no pressure, you need to think about this carefully and take you time in making a decision,' Kate advised.

Kate looked down at the envelope that essentially contained Alexis's future. 'These are the legal documents your dad and I need to sign in order transfer money from your trust into the family trust for the sale of the apartment if you decide you want to buy this place,' Kate explained. 'Or you may find something else you love, but either way, this is the investment in your future,'

'But it's your money, why would it be going into the family trust?' Alexis asked in confusion.

'It was the way I wanted your dad to set it up before we got married because he refused to set up any type of pre-nup,' Kate smiled are the arguments she, Rick and his lawyers had had in the months leading up to the wedding. 'I'm your dad's last wife and he's my one and done, so we just rolled everything into the family trust,'

Alexis relaxed against her mom again and sighed. 'Together forever,' Alexis whispered as she felt Kate drop a gentle kiss on her forehead.

'Yep, you're stuck with me for ever,'

'Good….I wonder if she said yes to the dress.' Kate burst out laughing as she hugged Alexis closer.

They both startled when they heard a commotion coming all the way from the hallway. The front door burst open and a frazzled looking Rick followed by an equally weary Martha entered the apartment.

'Seriously Richard, it's not like we were casing the neighbourhood,' Rick stalked into the kitchen and dumped the bags of food on the bench with a loud thump.

'Casing the neighbourhood mother? You could have had us arrested for loitering or stalking,' Rick yelled in frustration.

'Oh don't be so dramatic darling…at least you'd have had your clothes on this time kiddo,' Martha laughed as she walked into the living room.

Kate and Alexis were trying desperately not to laugh at the exchange between mother and son when Martha entered the living room. 'Ah there you are two are, I hope for your sake Kate you sorted out what you needed to because your husband is being an unbearable grump at the moment,' Martha exclaimed as she fell into the recliner in the corner of the room and kicked her shoes off.

'I'll go help dad,' Alexis rose from the couch and quickly walked into the kitchen where she could hear her dad slamming cabinet doors closed.

'Alexis….so help me….your grandmother at times…..' Alexis couldn't help the laugher that erupted as she watched her father fumble around the kitchen. 'Why couldn't Sofia keep everything where Kate kept it?!'

'Maybe Sofia had no idea how Kate arranged her kitchen dad,'

'Stop saying things that make sense daughter of mine,' her dad grumbled.

'We could always just eat out of the containers,' Alexis offered.

Rick stopped and looked at his daughter. 'Picture this oh child of mine….your grandmother and chopsticks,'

'Point taken,' Alexis jumped slightly at her dads 'Aha!' when he found the dinner plates. She leaned back against the centre island and watched her dad serve up their dinner.

'So you and Kate get everything squared away?' Rick asked as wiped his hands on a napkin.

Alexis looked at her dad incredulously. 'If by squared away you mean this night of frivolity you guys conjured up, that could have just as easily been handled by coming to me and saying 'hey Kate's apartment will be free in eight months do you want it' then not quite, but Kate and I had a much needed catch up,'

Rick walked over to his daughter and pulled her in for a hug. 'Good, you have no idea how happy I am to see you and Kate together,' Rick said, his voice hoarse.

'I love her dad,' Alexis squeezed her dad. 'I think I love her more than you now,' she teased.

'Well I was going to apologise for your grandmother going a little overboard, but now,' Rick huffed.

'A little over board Dad?' Alexis mumbled in her dad's chest. 'Gram's manned the lifeboats and abandoned ship….but it's nice to know you guys love me that much to go to this extreme…either that or you're just trying to get rid of me,' Alexis teased as she looked up at her dad.

'Pumpkin I'd be happy if you never left home, but I know you want to move out and it's a big decision,' Rick stepped back so he could look down at Alexis. 'Kate and I just want what's best for you, and this apartment is in a safe neighbourhood in a secure building…and it's just one less thing we have to worry about,'

'Thanks dad, but I just need some time to process it….and my trust fund….just promise me you'll let me sort everything out in my head first ok?' Alexis asked. 'I know I've apologised for my behaviour with Pi, but I promise I won't just pack up and leave again ok?'

'Ok,' Rick gave Alexis a final squeeze and went back to platting up dinner. Alexis once again leaned back against the centre island in the kitchen and looked around the room. She could hear the soft conversation between her mom and her grandmother and the mumbling of her dad as he portioned their meals out.

The young redhead could feel the love and warm radiating throughout the apartment, and it felt like home. It was still a huge decision, and one she didn't want to make yet, but as Doctor Burke had taught her, it was just another stepping stone to the next phase of her life. And instead of feeling scared and anxious, Alexis felt contentment.

'Pumpkin can you grab some forks and napkins?' Rick jolted Alexis out of her thoughts, and she set about gathering the utensils and following her dad back into the living room.

Alexis watched on as her dad handed her grandmother a fresh glass of wine. 'Thank you my darling boy,' her grams smiled at her dad with such love and affection.

Rick then moved to Kate where he placed a gentle kiss on her lips and sat beside her as she handed him his plate of food. 'Well come along kiddo, I can't very well eat with my fingers,' her Grams laughed as Alexis handed her a fork and napkin.

'Sorry Grams,' Alexis said before she moved to her parents.

Kate smiled softly at her as she took the offered cutlery and her dad gave her a sly wink. Sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, Alexis was again overwhelmed with the sense of family as she listened to her dad and grandmother bicker backwards and forwards about their walk around the neighbourhood.

The young redhead then looked over to Kate who was giving her a loving smile. Kate was right, she and her dad would always be her parents and she would always be their daughter. And just because Alexis was on the cusp of adulthood and all the responsibilities that with being a grownup, she would always be their little girl.

'Eat up before your dinner gets cold Pumpkin,'


	9. Even on the Worst Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even on the worst of days, there's a possibility of joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I've used XX & XY as inspiration for this chapter, it's definitely encapsulated within my Unconventional Mom universe.

The familiar sense of foreboding was slowly overtaking the young woman as she lay huddled on her bed; even with her earbuds in and AC/DC blaring from her iPhone, Alexis could still faintly hear her parents yelling downstairs. The memories of Meredith abandoning their family were at the forefront of her mind as she willed herself to succumb to Bon Scott's invitation to drive down the high way to hell. Anywhere she could escape from listening to her family fall apart would be a welcome blessing.

At nearly twenty two years of age, Alexis still struggled with the emotional and psychological damage caused by her mother leaving and the abandonment issues she continued to fight with years later. Even now as an adult, Alexis was terrified of the people she loved walking out or disappearing on her. It was why she'd defended Kate so vehemently when her dad doubted her mom's motives while Kate was on the run. Because Alexis knew her mom would never just up and leave them without good reason. Not anymore; that Kate Beckett was gone, why couldn't her dad see that.

Kate had sat with Alexis earlier in the afternoon and explained as much as she could to her; had assured her daughter she was ok. _'I remember the last time you were shot!'_ Alexis had yelled, barely containing her anger. Kate had calmly lifted her t-shirt and showed Alexis where she was wounded, trying desperately to comfort her daughter. Kate had finally convinced Alexis to go upstairs for a nap as the young woman started to succumb to sleep wrapped in Kate's arms as she surrendered to her exhaustion.

But Alexis was reluctant to leave the safety of her mom's embrace because that would mean leaving Kate and her dad alone together; the young woman could've cut the tension with a knife. And now she was desperately trying to distract herself from the fighting.

The slamming of a door brought the young woman out of her thoughts along with the dreaded feeling of an impending anxiety attack. Removing her earbuds, she tried to listen for any sounds from downstairs indicating who'd left and who was still here as she struggled to recall one her exercises from Doctor Burke.

_'Five things you can see'._

Alexis looked around her room at the paraphernalia she'd collected throughout her life, her desk scattered with paperwork and the adoption form from the cat shelter she's yet to speak to her parents about. The red leather jacket hanging on the hook on the back of her door; the moment Alexis had laid eyes on it she had to have it because it was so much like Kate's. Her black stilettos, they killed her feet but gave her an extra four inches in height; again so much like her mom. And finally the recent photo taken at the Tower of London; in that single moment she'd had her perfect family.

_'Four things you can touch'_.

Grabbing Monkey Bunkey, Alexis clutched her raggedy threadbare childhood friend to her chest; a gift from her dad when she was a little girl and one she still loved and cherished as an adult. Caressing the locket on the chain around her neck; a belated twenty first birthday present from her father; she remembered the sad smile on her dad's face as he presented her with the gift. Another milestone missed. As far as the young woman was concerned however, getting her father back for her twenty first birthday was the best present Alexis could've received. She didn't need the party or the key or the presents.

She touched the gold bracelet on her wrist; a gift from Kate. Her mom had placed it on her wrist as the two women stood on the beach in the Hamptons after her parents' impromptu wedding. A promise for always; even before the loving relationship they'd since built.

Alexis re-arranged the throw rug over her legs and smiled at the memory of her Grams proudly presenting her with it when she was thirteen. It was the one and only time Martha Rodgers had ever picked up a crochet hook.

_'Three things you can hear'_

Looking down at her iPhone, Alexis pressed pause just as Meatloaf was riding like a bat out of hell. _'Wonder if he'll catch up with Bon'_ Alexis thought to herself.

The low hum of the air-conditioning keeping the final vestiges of warm weather at bay before the cooler temperatures of fall set in.

Alexis thought of all the changes that had occurred since last fall and how life had almost come full circle. Only this time she was trying to keep her father grounded and rational while her mom was missing.

The young woman was brought out of her thoughts by a tentative knock on her door followed by her dad's hesitant voice. 'Sweetheart….can I come in?'

'Sure dad,' Alexis sighed as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of her bed; well that solved the mystery of who left, Alexis thought sadly.

Alexis watched as her father sheepishly entered her room, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. 'Why'd Kate leave?' she asked; her tone almost accusatory.

Rick looked at his daughter for the first time since he entered her room, but instead of seeing the confident young woman who'd helped him find his wife, helped keep him sane while being the voice of reason over the past few days, he saw his scared little girl waiting to be told another person had abandoned her.

'Kate didn't leave baby, she's down stairs in the kitchen,' Rick said as he sat next to his daughter. 'She wants to know if you want spaghetti or tacos for dinner,' he asked.

Alexis gave her dad a confused look. 'But I heard a door slam…..Oh…OH…..ewwww,' Alexis blushed as she watched her dad turn five different shades of red.

'What, the best part of fighting is…..'

'Dad don't you dare finish that sentence!' Alexis exclaimed as she buried her face in her hands. 'At this rate I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life,' she moaned.

'I was going to say making up. It's not my fault your mind goes straight to the gutter young lady,' her dad challenged. 'You're as bad as Kate,' Rick complained.

'Yeah well I'll take that as a compliment then,' Alexis sassed.

'But seriously sweetheart…I know it's been a rough couple of days and I just wanted to make sure you're ok,' Rick's tone was gentle and deep and soothing and safe, everything her dad had always been. The way he'd dived on top of her at the precinct and held her close as bullets flew around them. Her dad would rather sacrifice himself than see her get hurt.

The epiphany caused Alexis to gasp as she tried to keep the tears at bay; her dad would rather die than allow any harm come to her. And to think she was jealous of Kate all these years he risked his safety for hers. 'Hey, you ok pumpkin?' Alexis allowed herself to burrow into her dad's arms at the concern in his voice.

'Just fighting the what-if's,' she whispered. 'I nearly lost both of you again….,'

'But you didn't….'

'But I could have,' Alexis argued back. 'When you found Kate's bracelet at the crime scene and I saw all that blood….the thought that she was hurt and alone and scared and there was nothing I could do…and then you were gone,' Alexis gripped her dad tighter as she thought of what could've happened.

'Hey hey….sweetheart it's ok,' Rick soothed as he sat back and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his daughter's ear. 'If it hadn't been for you doing the exact opposite of what I told you not to do, we'd never have gotten the break we needed,'

'Now you know what mo...Kate's put up with for the past eight years,' Rick didn't miss Alexis's slip as he gave his daughter an incredulous look and squeezed her hand.

'Hey….I resemble that remark,' Rick grumbled, but Alexis could see the humour in his eyes at his 'dad joke'. 'But seriously, I'm so very proud of you….and I want to thank you for keeping me focused, particularly when I was doubting Kate,' Rick looked down at their joined hands. 'There's still a lot of hurt and anger I have to work through with her,' he looked back to Alexis when he felt her tense beside him, as much as she was trying to hide it, Rick could see the fear behind his daughter's eyes. 'But no-one's going anywhere,' he assured. 'Kate and I promised each other always, and that includes you as well. But I know if it hadn't been for your constant voice of reason, I'd have fallen back into old habits….well I'm still struggling with old habits if truth be told' Rick admitted.

'Dad….you know how much I love Kate, I've made it no secret that she's my other mom,' Alexis looked down shyly. 'Maybe it's because she and I have worked so hard towards the relationship we have now, that I could never accept she would just up and leave us without a good reason. And I know you're angry, you have every right to be….just as my first reaction has always been waiting for her to walk away from us,' Alexis confessed. 'But what I've learned about Kate is there's always a reason for what she does…we may not agree with it or understand her reasoning, but she loves us dad and she's terrified of losing us. So please I know you're mad, but I also know how you get, and your first reaction is to shut Kate out so she can't hurt you,'

Alexis sat quietly as her dad took in what she'd said, she could tell she'd hit close to home as he sighed and bowed his head. 'Maybe you should think about changing your major to psychology,'

'Don't deflect dad, I know you're preparing to shut down despite your…makeup session,' Alexis shuddered. 'Just keep an open mind, but more importantly,' Alexis implored. 'Keep an open heart, don't close her out, because Kate loves you so much….love us….she was willing to sacrifice herself, was willing to risk us walking away from her, losing her family just to keep us safe, just like you did at the precinct,' Rick looked up sharply at his daughter. 'You think I don't know you'd have taken a bullet if it meant keeping me safe?' Rick smiled sadly at his daughter as he wiped a stray tear off her cheek with his thumb.

'It's what dads do,' he shrugged before pulling her in for a hug. He had and would do anything to keep his baby girl safe, he always would.

A tentative knock at the door brought father and daughter out of their respective thoughts as they looked towards Kate as she entered the room. Alexis had always looked at her mom as a strong, intelligent woman; but the woman who was standing in the doorway was a mere shell of the woman who'd left their home three days ago for her first day as Captain.

'Hey…did you guys decide if you wanted spaghetti or tacos?' Kate asked tentatively. She stood just inside Alexis' room, not wanting to intrude on the conversation between her husband and daughter.

'I'm thinking tacos, what about you pumpkin?'

'Tacos sound great dad….but I think we're out of lettuce and tomatoes,' Alexis said as she looked between her parents; this definitely called for a trip to the corner store...the long way...she thought to herself. Maybe another round of door banging make up sex would do the trick…. _oh God did I just think that?_ Alexis shuddered.

'Oh well I can do spaghetti instead,' Kate suggested hesitantly.

Rick rose from the bed and straightened his shirt and trousers. 'I'll go and grab some groceries….'

'No I'll go,' Alexis interjected quickly. 'I need some fresh air,' she said as she too rose from her bed and moved towards her bathroom. As Alexis stood in front of the vanity she discreetly looked towards her parents in the reflection of her mirror.

'I'll go check to see if we need anything else,' her dad said as he moved towards the doorway.

Alexis held her breath as her dad stopped in front of her mom. _'Just hug, just hug, just hug,'_ Alexis chanted to herself.

The young woman watched as her dad pulled her mom in for a hug, she watched as Kate sighed with relief as she wrapped her arms around her dad's waist and clung to him; her dad buried his head in Kate's neck and hung on for dear life. Alexis blushed and looked away when her dad pulled back and her parents looked at each other with such adoration tinged by sadness.

When she looked at her own reflection in the mirror, Alexis could see the tears she'd felt stinging her eyes. 'Hey,' Alexis startled as she looked over her reflection's shoulder to see Kate in the mirror.

'Hey,' she whispered back; it had been a long time since mother and daughter had felt so uncomfortable with each other.

'I um didn't mean to eavesdrop….but I caught the last part of the conversation with your dad,'

Alexis turned to face her mom as she leaned back against the vanity. 'He'll come around, he always does,' Alexis shrugged. 'Just promise me you won't let him shut himself off from you,' she pleaded.

'If I could've done things differently I would have, there were protocols I had to follow, but more importantly I had to keep you and your dad safe…..even if it meant losing both of you,' Kate was quickly losing the battle with her emotions as she looked towards the tiled floor; she was just so tired both physically and emotionally and wanted everything to go back to how it was.

'I know mom,' Kate's head snapped up at Alexis's whispered reply. 'Just keep reminding dad of that….I know you haven't told me everything and I know you can't, I respect that….but please don't keep anything from dad, not now,' the young woman pleaded. 'You know you can trust him with anything you tell him,'

'I know and I promise,' her mom assured.

The two women stood looking at each other in an awkward silence until Kate raised her arms and Alexis surged forward to Kate's hug. 'I thought I'd lost you,' the young woman sobbed and Kate held her tightly. 'One of the biggest fears I had when I went back to work at the morgue; was turning up to a crime scene where I knew the victim,' Alexis had to stop to swallow her tears back before she could continue. 'Dad found your bracelet and I saw all the blood…'

Kate caressed her daughter's back with a soothing hand. 'I'm so sorry baby girl…I'm so sorry you had to see that,' Kate felt her daughter shake her head against her neck. 'How the hell did you track me down afterwards anyway?'

'It was something dad said about the condition of the guy you were with at the drycleaners,' Alexis replied as she pulled back to look at her mom. 'I was asked what you would've done…so I thought like you and got creative,' Alexis moved back to lean against the vanity once again as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

'Sounds like we have a future detective in the making?' Kate smiled sadly.

'Maybe…who knows,' Alexis shrugged before looking hesitantly at her mom. 'Have you and dad thought about getting away for a couple of days…maybe up to the Hamptons?'

'We haven't gotten that far yet, but it was something I wanted to suggest to him…you'd be OK here on your own?' Alexis just gave her mom an incredulous look accompanied by a raised brow. 'Of course you would,' Kate was taken aback by Alexis's expression; it was a carbon copy of her own when she was indulging Rick. 'Just promise no more trying to solve things on your own while we're gone ok?'

'I'm making no promises,' Alexis smirked. 'Even though I was trying to find you, I get why you and dad love doing your jobs, why you love investigating,' the young woman shrugged.

Kate looked at her daughter with such pride, Alexis had somehow held their family together again while she was missing; and it reminded her once again what a strong and intelligent young woman her daughter had become. 'You know you can talk to me at any time if you're serious about the police academy,' Kate could tell Alexis was contemplating her offer, but could also see the hesitancy on her daughter's face. 'You know I won't keep anything from your dad, but if you want to have a serious discussion about the police force before you approached him, you know I'll keep it between us,' Kate assured.

Alexis nodded and looked towards her bedroom just to ensure her dad hadn't been sneaking around. Taking a gap year and starting back at the morgue had been a hard enough conversation with her dad. Alexis had no idea how to approach him with her interest in joining the police force. 'I'll think about it,'

Kate nodded and moved to stand in front of Alexis and gently tucked her daughter's hair behind her ear. 'God I love what you've done with your hair, you were beautiful before, but now…..you're a beautiful young woman,'

Alexis blushed and looked down in embarrassment before she looked back up to her mom. 'Thank you,' she whispered before resting her forehead against Kate's shoulder, there were many times Alexis hated the curse of the redhead.

'You're welcome,' Kate smiled as she carded her hands through Alexis' hair. 'I think we better go check on your dad before he sends out a search party for us,' Kate instantly regretted her choice of words when she felt Alexis tense against her. 'Sorry, bad choice of words,' she apologised.

'It's ok,' Alexis assured as she straightened back up again. 'But you're right, I wouldn't be surprised if he's loitering out in the hallway,'

'No I'm not,' Rick appeared in the bathroom doorway just in time to see the two most important women in his life roll their eyes at him. 'Now that's creepy,'

Kate smiled as she moved towards her husband and wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his neck. 'Did you finish the list?' she mumbled.

'Yeah we only need a couple of things,' he confirmed as he wrapped his arms around his wife and placed a loving kiss on the mass of curls under his chin. 'You sure you don't want me to go sweetheart?' Rick asked his daughter.

Alexis smiled lovingly at her parents. 'No I'm sure, I could do with the fresh air and exercise…just promise to give me a five minute head start to get out of the building before your next round of makeup sex,' Alexis sassed as she turned back to the mirror to check her hair. She also caught the bright red blush on her dad's face in the reflection of the mirror and couldn't help but giggle.

'You look fine pumpkin,' her dad smiled and Alexis felt the curse of the redhead once again as she felt the blush move up her neck.

'Thanks dad,' she mumbled as she turned and moved past her parents and back into her room. Grabbing her boots, Alexis sat on the bed and began the process of lacing them up before pulling her jeans down over them. 'OK I'm good to go,' she said as she rose from the bed and moved towards the hallway. 'Are you guys coming or what?' she asked when she realised her parents weren't following her.

'Not yet,' she heard her mom giggle followed by her dad's deep laugh.

'Seriously guys, that is so not cool,' Alexis grumbled as she walked down the stairs and into the living room.

Alexis heard her parents descend the stairs and looked up in time to see them reach the landing. The young woman discreetly watched on as her parents looked at each with such love and adoration.

'Oh Alexis, you'll find this interesting,' Alexis could clearly tell her dad was up to something as he looked towards her. 'I had a call from Paula this afternoon; she wanted me to pass a message onto you,'

'Oh really?' Alexis asked in confusion before looking towards her mom. Kate just shrugged her shoulders indicating she had no idea what her dad was talking about. Maybe it was something about the next Nikki Heat book launch, or possibly the anti-bullying campaign she and her dad were putting together for his website.

'Yes, apparently a young man by the name of Henry Rauch rang Black Pawn looking for a Clara Striker,' her dad smirked. 'Now as it happens, young Mr Rauch is a probationary EMT and would you believe Ms Striker is an auditor with Emergency Services investigating a bogus 911 call,' Rick continued as he ramped up his story. Kate just shook her head and rolled her eyes at her husband's theatrics. Alexis, however, could do nothing but stand there mortified. 'And of course once Paula had finished laughing at Mr Rauch and realised he was serious, she asked him to describe this auditor,'

'Dad…'

'And what a coincidence, would you believe Ms Clara Striker, auditor for Emergency Services, looked exactly like one Alexis Castle. Care to explain that to me pumpkin?' Rick was having way too much fun embarrassing his daughter.

By this time Alexis was all different shades of red and wishing the loft floor would open up and swallow her. 'Listen dad….'

'Of course Paula had to ask Mr Rauch why he'd rung Black Pawn. Apparently his supervisor decided to have a little fun at poor young Henry's expense…'

'Dad...'

'Rick stop it,' Kate chastised as she threw a sympathetic look towards her daughter.

'What, I'm just relaying what Paula was telling me. It would seem Mr Rauch is not a Derrick Storm fan,' Rick pouted.

'That's how I found Kate,' Alexis interjected. The silence in the room was deafening. 'Everything was happening so fast you didn't ask me how I found out where she went,' Alexis shrugged.

Rick had the good grace to look ashamed at his daughter's reply. He could feel his wife grip his arm tightly as she stifled a gasp. 'Oh sweetheart I'm sorry,'

'It's OK dad really, and I know I've probably broken a dozen laws and deserve whatever punishment is dished out to me…'

'Actually he just wanted your number,' her dad smirked. 'You made quite an impression on probationary EMT Henry Rauch,'

'Way to ruin the moment there Rick,' Kate grumbled slapping her husband's arm as she gave her daughter a sympathetic smile.

'Anyway,' Risk said dramatically. 'Of course Paula wouldn't give out your name or your number,' her dad said as he fished out at piece of paper from his right pocket. 'But he did leave his. I believe, daughter dear, you'll have some explaining to do,'

Alexis blushed as she went to retrieve the paper from her dad's hand. 'Seriously?' she demanded as Rick held it out of reach.

'You know Rick,' Kate chastised as she plucked the paper from her husband's hand and passed it to her daughter. 'One day you may grow out of this childish behaviour,'

'Ah yes love of my life, but it won't be today,' Kate just rolled her eyes as Rick waggled his eyebrows at her.

Alexis watched the interplay between her parents; and not for the first time hoped she would find someone who would love her like her dad loves her mom. 'So groceries, you were getting a list together old man?'

'Oi!' Rick exclaimed as Kate laughed. 'Just for that, Kate and I won't be giving you a five minute head start,'

'Fine by me, but you're paying the therapy bill,'

'We need new ammunition,' Rick grumbled as he moved to the kitchen bench to retrieve the shopping list he'd written. 'Here,' Alexis laughed as her dad shoved the shopping list and a fifty dollar bill at her. 'Your five minutes start now.'

'Dad the day you and Kate stop trying to embarrass me with your gross public displays of affection will be the day I start worrying,' Alexis sassed. 'I'll take the long way….should be gone about half an hour,' she giggled as she kissed her mom on the cheek and ran towards the front door of the loft. Just as she closed the front door she heard her mom laugh and then gasp followed by her dad's... _'five minutes my arse'_ Alexis thought as she raced towards the lift.

Cringing as she entered the lift, Alexis pulled out the piece of paper with Henry's number on it and smiled. Maybe she'd call him later tonight after dinner.

Waving at Eduardo as she exited her building's lobby, Alexis turned left to take the long way around to the corner store that was just down the road. The young woman felt a feeling of contentment flow over her as she strolled down the street. Yes, today had turned into a good day.


	10. Alexis verses Captain Beckett

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis verses Captain Beckett

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I've used PH Dead as inspiration, I wanted to explore Kate and Alexis pushing the boundaries of their new relationship, in particular Alexis coming face to face with Captain Becket. I've always looked at Kate like a superhero, there's Kate and there's Detective Beckett – or Captain Beckett now. And I love adult Alexis. She's sassy and smart and when did she grow up?

'You're off early this morning,'

Alexis let out a squeak of surprise as she spun to face her mom; the young woman had been so busy trying to sneak out of the loft she didn't see Kate sitting at the dining room table.

'Um…yeah I have an early shift at the morgue,'

'Really? That's funny because when I was talking with Lanie yesterday she told me you were rostered off today,'

'Oh? I must have gotten my days mixed up, I was sure I was on today,' Alexis blushed.

'Sit,'

'No its ok I'll just…'

'Sit,' Beckett's voice brokered no room for argument as she stood and pulled out a chair for her daughter.

The young woman moved over to the dining area and slowly sat down as her mom repositioned herself on the other side of the table. Swallowing nervously, Alexis realised she wasn't sitting with her mom; she was sitting opposite Captain Beckett. _'Ok I can do this'_ Alexis thought, I mean after all this was her mom, facing off against Captain Beckett wouldn't be that much harder would it?

Both women sat watching each other in silence; the faint ticking of the clock in the living room and the soft noise of traffic from the street below despite the double glazing of the windows were the only audible sounds in the loft.

Captain Beckett continued to stare as Alexis began to fidget. The young woman stilled her movement however when she realised what her mom's intentions were, but the silence continued.

'Think very carefully about what comes out of your mouth,' Beckett suggested as Alexis went to speak.

'You know I'm an adult don't you?' Beckett inwardly smiled; it didn't matter how many suspects she'd interrogated over the years, one thing remained the same. The guilty always opened with an argument.

Silence.

'I'm over twenty one, and you can't tell me what to do,'

Silence.

'You know what, this is stupid. I don't have to sit here and justify my actions to you,'

Captain Beckett just quirked a brow as she challenged Alexis to get up and leave.

'It was dad's idea OK?!' Alexis exclaimed as she finally caved into Beckett's silent interrogation tactics. 'He just wanted to help you because he misses you. And it's not like Detectives Ryan and Esposito were having any success,' Alexis challenged. 'I mean come on, how did those two think for a second they could pass as college students? I mean they're too old…to be college students that is' Alexis argued. 'And when you think about, if it weren't for my help you'd have never solved the case,' Alexis felt very satisfied with her response, however her smug smile quickly changed to one of guilt when she saw the hurt and anger on her mom's face.

'Alexis, there are not enough ways to describe how stupid and dangerous your actions were!' Alexis startled in surprise as Beckett exploded. 'And I don't care if it was your dad's idea because you're supposed to be the sensible one in this family,' she yelled, cutting Alexis off. 'Your dad is not a cop Alexis! He's a private investigator with a piece of paper from the internet….that's the modern day equivalent of getting your PI licence out of a cereal box!'

'Hey that's…'

'I ask the questions,'

'But…'

'No you don't get to talk,' Beckett slammed the table as she stood and began pacing.

'If I can't talk how am I supposed to answer your questions?' Alexis challenged.

Beckett stopped midstride and looked pointedly at Alexis. 'Don't get smart young lady; you're in enough trouble as it is. I ask the questions, you answer, got it?!' Beckett demanded as she slammed both hands on the dining room table and stared her daughter down.

'What?!'

'Take it or leave it,' Beckett stated while she took her seat again.

'Fine,' Alexis huffed as she crossed her arms in defiance and slumped back against her chair. 'But can I at least talk with my mom instead of Captain Beckett?' Kate was taken aback by Alexis' request, not realising how easily she'd slipped into her alter-ego.

Kate sighed in frustration as she collapsed back against her chair, allowing her head to fall against the headrest. 'Remember a few weeks ago when you asked if I minded that your dad was re-opening his PI business and I told you to ask me in a couple of weeks?' Kate asked as she straightened herself again and looked at her daughter.

Alexis was trying her best not to smile because even at the time, she knew exactly what was going to happen when her dad went back to being a private investigator. 'He was just missing you, we both were' Alexis shrugged. 'And why am I in trouble? I've done nothing wrong,'

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose trying desperately to keep the impending headache at bay. 'When did you start working with your dad?'

'Well that depends,' Alexis hedged. 'Officially or unofficially?'

'Alexis…'

'Unofficially, before I went to Europe with Paige,'

'What…Alexis that was three months ago!'

'What's the big deal Kate; I've already solved more cases than dad…'

'Stop deflecting…..wait…what? You've investigated on your own…Alexis….' Kate once again stood up and started pacing.

'I've been careful and only picked cases that were fairly easy to solve, and well one thing led to another and now I've been helping dad out on my days off from the morgue,' the young woman shrugged.

Kate could only drag her hands through her hair as she tried to calm herself. Being a parent sucked balls. If she couldn't handle being worried sick about her twenty two year old daughter, how was she going to survive having an infant? 'Whose idea was it for your dad to teach at Hudson?'

'Dad's,'

'And whose idea was it attending the frat party,'

'I'm pretty sure it was dad's or mine...I can't remember…..but the costume was all me,' Alexis sassed at the exasperated look she was getting from her mom.

'You expect me to believe your father would allow you to leave this house and walk into a building full of testosterone fuelled, drunk college frat boys looking like some Victoria's Secret model!?' Kate exclaimed.

'Really? I looked that good?'

'That's beside the point,'

'No it's not…..and what is the point _mom_ , because I get the distinct impression this isn't about me turning up to a frat party dressed in a skimpy costume,'

'Honey,' Kate sighed. 'This is all still new to me so can you please just stop being so…..infuriating,' Kate growled because she could no longer hide her frustration from her daughter as she flopped down in her chair again.

Alexis looked at her mom with sly humour tinged with sympathy; she was finding it was just as much fun messing with her mom's head as it was her dad's. 'What's still new to you? Cause if this is you still learning how to interrogate people; I'd hate to see what you're like when you're experienced,' the young woman teased.

'Ahhh!' Kate yelled at nobody in particular, and Alexis could no longer hold in her laughter; how the hell had Castle put up with this from his daughter for twenty two years was beyond Kate. 'Can you just stop being a smartass long enough for us to have a serious conversation please,' Kate begged as she allowed her forehead to fall onto the dining room table with an audible thud.

'Sorry Kate, but you've gotta admit sparring with me is a challenge. Remember, I've had twenty two years worth of practice on dad,' Alexis giggled.

Kate's face was curtained by her hair as she lifted her head enough to frown at her daughter. 'Not funny,' she grumbled as she sat up again and tucked her hair behind her ears before scrubbing her face with her hands. 'I'm still getting used to this whole parenting thing and you scared me OK? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, but I'm just worried about you,' Alexis smiled softly at Kate; the young woman wasn't used to having anyone other than her father and Grams apologise to her. 'And I'm pretty sure I just channelled my mom. I vowed and declared when I was young that I would never do that to my kids' Kate smiled sadly.

Alexis could feel the sting of tears at her mom's confession but held them at bay. 'So what's really going on Kate?' Alexis asked her mom with concern. 'You've been out of sorts for the past month and I don't just mean with your promotion. I keep expecting you and dad to tell I'm going to be a big sister….are you pregnant?' she asked hesitantly as she tried to hide her excitement.

'No….I thought I was,' Kate answered sadly. 'I was going to tell your dad tonight…. I was going to do a test….but….I guess it was just the initial excitement and my promotion, and then being on the run and getting injured….,'

'Are you sure you're not, I mean….oh,' Alexis replied when she realised what her mom meant. 'I'm sorry,'

Kate gave her daughter a sad smile. 'Thank you baby girl, but I guess on the bright side, it just means a lot more trying huh?'

'And way to go ruining a moment there mom,'

'I'm also hurt and upset that you and your dad didn't tell me you were working together,' Kate said seriously. 'I thought we were all past keeping secrets from each other,' Alexis could feel the blush of embarrassment and shame creep up her neck as she looked away from her mom. 'For so long I felt like an outsider when it came to the relationship between you and your father. You had this whole history together that I wasn't privy to, and I respected that. But it's our history now because you're my family, and I'll admit that it hurts that you didn't trust me enough to tell me; particularly after everything you and I have been through recently.'

'I didn't do it deliberately, I promise…we've all been so busy lately and I know that's no excuse,' Alexis stood and moved to sit next to her mom. 'But we can go for days without seeing each other. Honestly, it's one day a week, if that. Dad just really needs someone to keep all the administration stuff up to date and run interference on all the Castle groupies; which, let me tell you, is really gross,' Alexis grumbled. 'And occasionally, he needs to be kept out of trouble. Honestly Kate, I don't know how you did it for so long.'

'Practice, patience, and threatening to shoot him,' Kate answered as she looked towards her daughter. 'Are you sure you're not taking too much on, I mean you must be working seven days a week….sweetheart you've been here before,' Kate couldn't hide the worry in her voice as she looked at her daughter with concern.

'I promise Kate,' Alexis assured. 'I have three permanent shifts a week at the morgue, one day with dad, and a couple of hours at the cat shelter on weekends,'

'Just so long as you're not working yourself to the point of exhaustion, promise me ok?'

'Yes mama pot, baby kettle promises not to overwork herself,' Alexis sassed as Kate gave her the 'brow' which just made the young woman giggle.

'Just promise me you'll be careful, and you know you can call me at any time if you're worried or get into trouble,' Alexis nodded and grabbed her mom's hand. 'So are you enjoying everything you're doing?' Kate asked.

'I am actually,' Alexis smiled. 'I love the morgue and working with dad, but in different ways. I have to admit, if I had to choose, I do love the PI side more.'

'Really?' Kate smiled. 'So you want to be a PI like your dad?'

'Oh God no Kate, I love the investigation side, not all the other crap that goes with it,' Alexis looked down at their joined hands and took a calming breath before looking back to her mom again. 'Were you serious about helping me if I wanted to enter the police academy?' the young woman asked hesitantly.

'Is that what you want to do? Because it's a big decision and not an easy path,'

'Since when have I done anything the easy way?' Alexis teased as her mom tucked a stray lock of hair behind the young woman's ear. 'But seriously, I'm pretty sure it's the path I want to take. It's been a real eye opener with this time off from college. I've learned so much about myself over the past couple of months. The path I thought I wanted last spring isn't what I want. And I know I've already thanked you, but I couldn't have done it without you.'

Kate smiled proudly at her daughter, but in the back of her mind, she was worried about how to help Alexis approach her dad about it. 'Ok, first things first, we need put a plan together,' Kate suggested. 'Obviously you didn't just wake up this morning and decide to join the NYPD…..or maybe you did,' Alexis giggled at her mom's humour. 'Let's see, it's seven thirty now and I need to make a move, what have you got on for today?' Kate asked with a pointed look.

'Dad needed help with some new program he's trying to install…..seriously don't ask, but Lanie texted me to ask if I could be on call today as they're down an intern,'

'OK so barring me being stuck back at the Twelfth tonight or you stuck wherever you're going to be, how about we grab dinner and talk more, just you and me? We're overdue for a catch up anyway,'

Alexis smiled in appreciation because her mom always knew the right thing to say. 'Sounds perfect,'

At that moment, both Kate and Alexis' cells vibrated. 'Well on that note, the boys have a murder to solve and need to get to the precinct,' Kate said as she rose from the table.

'And so do I….I've been called in,' Alexis smiled as she waved her phone at her mom.

'Great you can ride in with me,' Kate moved to grab her keys and weapon from the kitchen counter, and in the space of thirty seconds, Alexis was once again standing in front of Captain Beckett. 'What?' Kate asked.

'Nothing it's just….you're like a superhero,' Alexis smiled. 'You just went from mom to Captain Beckett…it's taking a little while to get used to,that's all,' the young woman shrugged.

'Hey,' Kate murmured as she moved to envelope her daughter in a hug. 'I'm still your mom whether I'm disguised in my secret identity or I'm Captain Beckett and I love you OK?' Kate felt Alexis laugh into her neck and the young woman squeezed her tightly.

'OK…love you too,' Alexis whispered as she shifted back. The two women smiled warmly at each other before Kate moved toward the front door.

'OK kiddo; let's go solve a murder,'

'Sounds like a plan,' Alexis couldn't contain her excitement at finally getting to work with her mom.

'At least you do what you're told,' Kate sassed as the two women exited the loft.

Standing side by side waiting for the lift, Alexis shoulder bumped her mom. 'I'm so sorry about not telling you about working with dad, you didn't deserve that, and I promise I won't keep anything from you again,' she said sincerely.

Kate placed a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. 'Apology accepted baby girl,'

Alexis felt the familiar feeling of warmth flow through her, she loved it when Kate called her baby girl, it made her feel loved and cherished by the woman who'd become her mom and best friend.

'You OK?' Kate asked at her daughter's silence.

'Oh yeah, it's just….I love it when you call me that,' Alexis blushed. Kate smiled and squeezed her daughter's hand in response as the lift doors opened.

'We missed your birthday again,' Kate said sadly.

'Meh, I'm kinda getting used to it now. It seems to be the time of year for life and death situations,' Alexis teased. 'Dad was missing and returned last year, you went missing this year...just please don't go missing together next year, or if you do remember to take me with you,' Alexis laughed.

'Yeah, well, we need to celebrate this year since we forgot your twenty first completely last year. How about we have a girl's day out or something,' Kate suggested.

'Can we go to the shooting range?' Alexis asked hopefully.

'I was thinking more along the lines of a spa and lunch, but if that's what you want,sure,' her mom laughed and Alexis smiled in excitement.

Beckett answered her cell as the two women descended in the lift; and once again Alexis watched her mom morph into Captain Beckett as the older woman spoke to Detective Esposito about the murder scene. Apparently it was 'Beckett flavoured'; whatever that meant.

Waving at Eduardo when they exited the lobby, Alexis looked down at her cell. ******* Sorry dad, got called in. Going into work with Kate ******* the young woman replied to the text from her dad wanting to know where she was. ******* Not fair :-( ******* Alexis laughed at her dad's response as she climbed into the cruiser.

'What's so funny?' her mom asked.

'Dad's jealous because I'm going in with you,' the young woman smiled before she sobered again.

'Hey, tonight we'll start putting a plan together, and when you're ready and have all the facts, I'll help you approach your father OK?'

'Thank you,' Alexis smile. 'By the way, what's a Beckett flavoured murder?'

'They're the weird ones,' Beckett smiled with morbid enthusiasm.

'Like the murder you arrested dad for,'

'Exactly like that,' Beckett replied as she merged into the morning traffic.

_'Today is going to be an interesting day,'_ Alexis thought to herself. And she couldn't wait.


	11. Emerging Adulthood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best parent's ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sent a request to right this promt – Kate comforting Alexis after a traumatic experience. I was a nurse in my previous career, and I found my alter ego taking over on several occasions.

All eyes were on the stunning Captain as she strode through the Twelfth. The way her grey Burberry suit clung to her slim frame combined with her four inch Pour la Victoire's gave the woman an air of regal grace whilst commanding authority. Captain Kate Beckett was a conundrum to many; one part superhero, one part sex goddess, one part Paris runway model, and most recently, wife and mother.

Beckett stopped mid stride when she felt the eyes of her department upon her. 'What the hell are you all staring at? Get back to work!' the Captain bellowed with a sly smile and a shake of her head. 'Ryan, Espo where's my report on the Daniel's case?' Beckett yelled as she continued on her path to her office. 'And I need it sometime today boys, not next week,' she threw over her shoulder when she heard her two detectives bickering behind her.

Beckett fished around in her pocket for her cell as she felt the vibration at her hip. 'Hey Lanie, what've you got for me,' she answered with a smile. 'What?!...When?!' all eyes returned to the Captain as she stopped mid stride in the middle of the precinct floor. 'Ok…Ok… tell her I'm on my way,' Kate said urgently. 'Where?...alright I'll meet you on the ground floor,'

'Yo Beckett, everything all right?' Espo asked with concern as the Captain sprinted past his desk; he faintly made out _'happened to Alexis'_ as the lift doors closed.

Checking her watch as the lift descended, Kate figured her husband and mother-in-law would still be in the air on their way home from Los Angeles and wouldn't be landing for at least another hour. Taking a calming breath, Kate steeled herself because this would be the first time she'd have to deal with a distraught and grieving daughter, not just her fiancé's anguished kid missing her father.

The doors opened to the usual chaos of the precinct's ground level as she pushed her way out of the lift. _Do people not have manners anymore?_ Kate groused as she returned the Desk Sargent's wave before she strode across the precinct's ground floor. Once she was clear of the crowd at the front desk, Kate stopped to survey the mass of people congregating in the front entrance to the precinct.

On most days Kate welcomed the noise and the smells of the Twelfth's public area. It screamed New York and represented everything that was good and bad about the city. However at this moment, all Kate could think about was how to get Alexis up to her office through the throng of people.

'Yo Captain, I just spoke with Lanie,' Kate startled as Esposito and Ryan appeared at her side. Even as their new boss, her boys were still her pillars of strength.

'Yeah, we figured you may need some help getting Little Castle upstairs,' Ryan finished.

Kate struggled with her emotions as she looked at her boys and squeezed their arms in appreciation. 'Thank you,' she whispered. 'So what do we know?' Kate asked as she cleared her throat and continued to watch the front door.

'Pedestrian hit and run outside of Columbia U,' Esposito informed. 'Alexis was with Lanie when they got the call out to the scene.' Kate squeezed her eyes tightly at the thought of her daughter arriving at the scene.

'I just got off the phone with Harrison over at the Twenty Sixth,' Ryan continued. 'Twenty three year old female, deceased by the time paramedics arrived; driver was caught at the intersection of Amsterdam and La Salle and currently in lockup. They're still waiting on the results of the drug and alcohol screening, but they're pretty sure he was high as a kite on ICE; the kid doesn't even remember driving the car.'

Kate closed her eyes as she asked her next question. 'And the name of the victim?'

'Student ID has her as an Andrea Murphy, third year Engineering student at CU,' Javier said quietly.

'You know the victim Boss?' Ryan asked at Kate's gasp.

Kate quickly composed herself as she nodded _. 'Sorry guys, but they're finally here,' Alexis apologised. 'So real quick, this is Andie, Brittany, Luke,_ _and Robbie,' Alexis gestured towards each person as they each said hi. 'Guys, my dad,_ _Rick,_ _and my mom,_ _Kate,'_

'Um I yeah, she's a…was a close friend of Alexis from school,' she replied sadly as she thought of the last time she'd seen the young brunette. She, Rick, Martha, and Alexis had joined Andie and her parents for dinner the previous week; a thank you gesture from Malcom and Zoe for looking out for their daughter while she studied so far away from home. 'How do I do this?' Kate asked nobody in particular as she looked towards the ceiling; Kate was trying desperately to quell her tears so she could look after her daughter when she arrived.

'Ah excuse me, Captain Beckett?' Kate turned to address the person who was speaking to her, only to find a young EMT speaking to a shocked older woman a few feet away from her.

'I'm Captain Beckett,' Kate corrected as she felt Esposito and Ryan move to flank her.

'Oh, I'm sorry ma'am,' the young man apologised to the woman he'd mistaken as the Captain. 'Ah ma'am sorry for the misunderstanding, you're Captain Beckett ma'am….um Ms. Castle's mom?' he asked in confusion.

Kate looked at her Detectives with alarm; Lanie said nothing about Alexis being injured. 'Yo buddy, where's Alexis?'

'Espo please,' Kate sighed tiredly. 'I'm sorry Mr…,'

'Henry Rauch ma'am; EMT with the Nineteenth,' the young man responded as he shuffled nervously on the spot. 'My unit was called out to a pedestrian down outside Columbia U,' he explained. 'The rig's pulled up around back. Doctor Parish thought it was best to bring Ms. Castle through the rear entrance,' Henry advised.

'I don't understand. Lanie didn't say anything about my daughter being injured?'

'Ah yes ma'am…I mean no ma'am….well physically she's fine.' Under normal circumstances Kate would've found the young man's flustered nervousness endearing, but not today.

Henry called on his training to calm himself as he gave the Captain his detached clinical run down on her daughter. 'Ms. Castle is still in a mild state of shock but refuses to be taken the to hospital for observation,' the EMT informed. 'We've treated her as best we can and we've been able to clear Ms. Castle of any physical injuries. Your daughter's responsive and aware of her surroundings and her vitals are stable, but she'll need monitoring over the next couple of hours to ensure her condition doesn't deteriorate. Doctor Parish didn't want to leave Ms. Castle on her own, but has to go back the Medical Examiner's Office and Ms. Castle requested to be brought here.'

'Hey Boss, Lanie's coming in now with Alexis.' Kate watched as Ryan and Esposito moved towards the back of the precinct.

'Thank you Mr. Rauch,' Kate said as she turned to follow her Detectives. 'Henry Rauch?' Kate asked as she turned back to the EMT.

'Yes ma'am,'

'I believe Alexis met you a few weeks ago,'

'Well I met Clara Striker about a month ago ma'am….and I have to say, you're looking much better than in the surveillance footage I saw of you breaking into my rig,' Henry blushed profusely when he realised what he said, and Kate once again wished she'd met the young man who'd helped her daughter under different circumstances.

Both Henry and Kate startled as the EMT's radio burst to life _._ ' _Hey Romeo, say goodbye to your girlfriend and get your ass out here. Meet me_ _out front,_ _we gotta go.'_ The young man blushed in a dozen different shades of red as he turned back to Kate. 'Captain Beckett, it was a pleasure to meet you…I mean if it were under different…I gotta go,' the young man stuttered as he raced towards the front entrance of the precinct.

Kate smiled sadly as she watched Henry disappear out the front door of the precinct. Despite their very brief encounter, the Captain got a good vibe from him and she would have to have words with her daughter as to why she never called Mr. Rauch back.

'Kate?' Kate turned to find Lanie, flanked by Ryan and Esposito, standing by the open lift doors and was shaken when she caught a glimpse of Alexis, who was clinging to the Medical Examiner. Her heart broke at the protective stance her boys were taking, shielding the traumatised young woman from the noise and stares.

Even on a good day, her daughter was pale, but at this moment, Alexis was positively white, some would argue grey. 'Lanie?' Kate moved swiftly as Lanie and the boys moved onto the lift, and the five occupants huddled together as the lift started its climb.

'Hey girl,' Lanie smiled sadly at Kate. 'Come take your baby, she's had a rough morning,' the Medical Examiner went to untangle the young woman from her arms, but Alexis clung tighter. 'Hey sweetie it's OK, Kate and the boys are here,' Lanie murmured softly as she looked towards the Captain.

'Alexis?' Kate moved so the young woman could see her and looked worriedly to Lanie. 'Hey sweetheart, it's Kate,' she tried again as she smoothed a hand through her daughter's hair. Alexis blinked and looked at her mom as if in a daze. 'Hi baby girl,' Kate could see the fog clear from her daughter's eyes as recognition set in.

Alexis straightened up immediately and took in her surroundings. 'Doctor Parish what are we doing here?' the young woman asked in agitated confusion as the lift doors opened. 'We're supposed to be back at the morgue,' she argued as she struggled to remove the Medical Examiner's grip on her and remain in the lift.

Lanie tried to calm the young redhead as Alexis continued to struggle. 'Alexis honey you wanted to come here remember? You didn't want to go to the emergency room so we agreed you'd come here,' the Medical Examiner explained calmly as Kate looked on with fear and concern. While the Captain had helped her daughter through a panic attack, this was something completely different.

'No no no, I have to go back, Andie's all alone. Who's going to look after her?' Alexis yelled as she looked towards her mom. 'Kate, make Lanie take me back, you're a Captain you can order her to,' Alexis' distress became worse as the small group stepped off the lift and the doors closed behind them. 'Please, you have to make her take me back,'

Kate looked helplessly towards Lanie and boys, completely out of her depth on what to do. 'Honey, how about you come and sit in my office for a little while,' Kate soothed as she gathered her daughter into her arms.

'And then you'll take me back?'

'We'll see how you're feeling OK?' Kate saw Lanie nodding at her answer. Looking towards Ryan and Esposito, the boys took the initiative and went to settle the precinct floor before Kate attempted to take Alexis to her office. 'Sweetheart come and lay down for a little while OK?' Alexis nodded and allowed her mom to lead her towards the Captain's office. Lanie followed behind the two women and gave Esposito and Ryan a sad smile and mouthed ' _thankyou_ ' as she walked past them.

The precinct floor was eerily quiet as Kate neared her office, her colleagues giving Beckett and Alexis discreet looks of sympathy as they passed by. Many had only known Beckett as the tough, by the book NYPD Officer who'd risen through the ranks to become Captain. This was their first glimpse at the mother Kate had become.

As the three women entered the Captain's office, Kate tried to manoeuvre Alexis to the couch. 'Come on sweetheart, let's just sit,' Kate was becoming more concerned at Alexis' anxiousness as the young woman stood fidgeting in the middle of her office.

'But you'll let me go back right?' Alexis was looking wildly between her mom and the Medical Examiner. 'I have to make sure Andie's OK when her mom and dad get here….who's with her now? She's all on her own, I can't leave her alone, how will Mr. and Mrs. Murphy know where to find her…'

'Alexis sweetie,' Lanie calmed as she stood in front of the young woman and gently grasped Alexis' shoulders. 'Doctor Perlmutter and Kelly are with her now OK? You know they'll take good care of her,' Lanie soothed as she led Alexis to the couch. 'Right now, the best thing you can do for Andie is to stay here with Kate and rest a little,' Lanie straightened and turned to Kate after she managed to get Alexis to sit on the couch. 'When's Rick back?' she asked softly.

'He and Martha are about half an hour out of LaGuardia, so they're a couple of hours away at least. Martha insisted on catching the red eye so she could perform this evening,' Kate answered as she moved to sit next to her daughter and smoothed a lock of hair behind Alexis' ear. She was shocked by the almost vacant stare in her daughter's eyes as Alexis turned to look at her mom. 'Oh sweetheart, you've had a rough day haven't you?' Kate murmured. Alexis just nodded and allowed her forehead to fall on her mom's shoulder. 'Are you sure she's OK? She's so cold,' Kate asked Lanie with concern. Kate could feel the cold, clammy skin of her daughter's forehead against her neck.

'She's still in shock, not as severe as it was but I'm still concerned,' Lanie explained. 'I wanted to send her to the ER for observation, particularly after her vitals dropped when she collapsed at the scene, but Alexis refused so legally there was nothing I could do. I did persuade her to allow the EMTs to monitor her until I felt comfortable enough that she was OK, but Kate she'll need monitoring over the next few hours. I knew Castle wasn't home and she kept asking for her mom, so I brought her here,' Lanie looked on sadly as Kate helped Alexis stretch out on the couch, placing the young woman's head in her lap.

'She told me the other week one of her greatest fears was attending a callout where she knew the victim,' Kate sighed as she gently carded her hand through her daughter's hair.

'Yeah, well, she's one tough cookie, I'll give you that,' Lanie said with a touch of pride as she folded her arms and leaned back against Kate's desk. 'I don't know how she held it together for as long as she did once she recognised the victim as one of her friends. We'd just about had the young woman in the van when Alexis collapsed. The EMTs hadn't left the scene yet so they were able to help me….I hadn't even noticed Alexis had shut down, I should have recognised the signs Kate. I'm a friggen doctor for Christ's sake.'

'Lanie it's not your fault, I don't even know how you can think that,' Kate reassured her best friend. 'I'm just thankful she was with you. I know Perlmutter would have looked after her, but I'm glad Alexis had you,' Kate smiled gratefully.

'Yeah well I think her handsome, young EMT deserves more praise than I do.' Lanie said as she straightened up and moved towards the couch. 'Anyway, now that I know our girl's safe, I need to get back to the morgue. Make sure to keep her warm, and try to keep her awake. Just remember severe shock can set in hours after the initial trauma. So many people make the mistake of thinking only a physical injury can cause shock, but emotional trauma can be just as dangerous. If you're concerned don't hesitate to call 911 OK?'

'OK,' Kate replied as Lanie squeezed her shoulder.

'I'll organise the counselling and debriefing on my end, the sooner the better so that means tomorrow,' Lanie cautioned as she squatted down so she could talk to Alexis. 'Hey sweetie, I've gotta head out, you OK here with Kate?' Lanie asked as she caressed the young woman's cheek. Kate didn't miss the fact that Lanie deliberately didn't mention returning to the morgue as she felt Alexis nod from where her head was still resting on her mom's lap. 'You gonna be ok?' Lanie asked as she looked up at Kate.

'Yeah, we'll be fine….thank you again for taking care of her.'

Lanie rose back up to a standing position, groaning as her knees popped on the way up. 'I'm getting too old for this shit,' she grumbled. 'And no comments from the peanut gallery,' the Medical Examiner warned as Kate gave her best friend a sly smile.

'Wouldn't dream of it,' Kate challenged. 'Can you send Ryan in on your way out?' she requested as Lanie moved towards the door.

'Sure thing….call me if you need anything ok?' and with that Lanie gently shut the office door as she left the office.

Kate allowed herself to relax back against the couch as she continued to run a soothing hand through her daughter's hair. Alexis hadn't moved from where she lay with her head still in her mom's lap, and Kate was becoming concerned with her daughter's silence.

Beckett had dealt with colleagues, witnesses, and victims of crime while they were in shock, but she'd been able to maintain a clinical detachment and her interaction with them was usually brief. This, however, was different because someone she desperately loved was in so much pain, and she didn't know how to fix it.

Recalling her first aid training, Kate gently squeezed Alexis' shoulder. 'You still with me sweetheart?' Kate asked as she felt Alexis nod. 'Are you warm enough?'

'I'm OK,'

Kate looked towards the office door when she heard a gentle knock. 'Hey Boss, you wanted to see me?' Ryan asked as he poked his head around the door.

'Yeah, come on in, close the door behind you,' Kate requested, conscious of the prying eyes of the precinct floor. 'What's the latest?'

Ryan looked at Beckett as if to ask _'are you sure'_ before continuing at her nod. 'The suspect was allegedly fleeing a mugging gone wrong which escalated to a carjacking. That's why the Twenty Sixth initially responded,' Ryan explained. 'Perp was caught after running down the victim and ploughing into a stationary car.' Kate felt Alexis flinch as Ryan described her friend as a victim. 'The initial tox screens came back positive for high levels of meth amphetamines. They're just waiting on the official blood results.'

'What about Andie's parents? Have they been notified?'

'Yeah, Uni's worked with Columbia to contact the Murphy's. Harrison says they're trying to make their way in from Hesston, where ever that is.'

'Kansas,' Alexis whispered. 'Andie's dad's an engineer….tractors or something. He did tell us last week…Kate they're going to need somewhere to stay when they get here.' Kate noticed that Alexis was becoming agitated again and moved to calm her.

'I'll get Lanie or Detective Harrison to let us know when her mom and dad can get here OK?' Kate soothed. 'They can stay with us until they arrange to take Andie home.' Kate felt her daughter whimper and clutch at her mom's skirt as the reality of the situation started to sink in.

'She wanted to be an engineer like her dad,' Alexis said as she lost the battle with her emotions. 'Andie called me yesterday, her transfer to Kansas State had been accepted for the new year. She was so excited to be going home because she missed being near her family. I was going to call her this morning to have lunch, but I was too busy and got distracted…if I'd called her she wouldn't have left the campus when she did….she'd still be alive…' Alexis sobbed as she wrestled with her guilt. Kate realised that Lanie was right in that her daughter needed counselling and debriefing as soon as possible.

'Baby girl, it's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done to have prevented this,' Kate soothed. 'The person who ran her down, it's their fault. It's their fault for stealing a car while under the influence of drugs.' Kate continued to card her hand gently through her daughter's hair as she tried to settle Alexis again.

'The Captain's right Alexis,' Kevin agreed. 'What you can do for Andie is work with Lanie, Perlmutter, and the guys from the Twenty Sixth to make sure the courts have every shred of evidence you can provide them; to make sure the person who is responsible faces the full force of the law.' Alexis sat up and moved to sit next her mom. Kate gathered the young woman into her arms and smiled gratefully at her Detective as Alexis burrowed her head into her mom's neck.

'Thanks Kevin'

'Maybe you should take her home Kate.' Kate looked up sharply at Ryan when he addressed her. 'One of us can drive you.'

'I can't, Kevin. I'm on duty. How's it gonna look if I take off during the day?'

'It'll make you look like a parent Kate,' Kevin stated like it was the most normal thing in the world. Kate felt the tears she'd been holding back trickle down her cheeks. 'Castle should be very close to landing by now,' Ryan continued. 'I'll get one of the Uniforms to go pick him and Martha up and take him straight to the loft,' Ryan offered.

'Kevin, we can't waste police resources like that,' Kate smiled at her Detective's generous heart. She'd mentioned in passing the day before that her husband was due home the following morning. This was despite her husband complaining about Martha wanting to stay an extra day. It meant having to fly all night to get home. Kate remembered the friendly ribbing both Espo and Ryan had given her about welcoming him home. 'Castle's already got the car service booked, I'll text him to call me as soon as he lands and get him to pick us up on the way home,' Kate said as she pulled her cell out of her pocket. 'We'll need to get the spare room ready if Andie's mom and dad agree to stay with us.'

'OK Boss, let me know if you need anything else.'

'Kevin?' Detective Ryan stopped as he opened the office door and looked back at Kate. 'Thank you for being such a good friend to all of us.'

Detective Ryan blushed and looked down towards his shoes. 'No problem Boss. I'll keep you updated on any new developments,' he said as he closed the door behind him.

'How you doing there kiddo?' Kate asked her daughter. Alexis was becoming a dead weight against her side, and Kate was worried the young woman was drifting off to sleep.

'I don't feel well,' the young woman mumbled. Kate wondered if this is what Alexis sounded like when she was a little girl.

'That's normal sweetheart. Do you want to lie down again?' Alexis shook her head as she sat up and leaned back against the couch. Kate was surprised at how pale her daughter still looked, her checks were flushed and her skin was still slightly clammy as she brushed Alexis' hair from her face.

'Makes me feel more nauseous. How do I get the images out of my head Kate?' Alexis asked desperately as she pushed her fists into her eye sockets. 'Every time I close my eyes I see Andie lying in the middle of the road. He just left her there to die….like a piece of garbage….how does someone do that to another human being?' Alexis sobbed.

'I wish I could give you the answers sweetheart, but I can't,' Kate soothed as she gently pulled her daughter's hands away from her face. 'Even after sixteen years with the NYPD, I still don't have an answer for why people behave the way they do.'

'Then why do you still do it? What's the point?'

'Because people like Andie, and my mom, they need us to speak for them. They need us to fight for justice for them and their families. And that's why, after sixteen years, I still get up every morning and put on my badge and my gun and come to work. There are vulnerable people in society who need our protection, but they also need for us to fight for them when they can't.' Alexis nodded as she allowed her mom to pull her into her arms again. 'You won't be alone in this sweetheart, your dad and I will be with you every step of the way. We'll help you get justice for Andie and her parents.' Alexis squeezed her mom tightly before settling.

'Kate, your pocket's buzzing.'

'That'll be your dad.' Kate shifted to pull her cell from her pocket and hit answer before putting the cell on speaker. 'Beckett'

' _Why Captain Beckett, you just couldn't wait to hear your husband's ruggedly handsome voice could you?'_

'Yeah, you got me Castle, but seriously, you're on speaker and I have Alexis with me.'

' _If you're at work,_ _why is Alexis with you?'_ Rick asked with concern.

' _What's wrong darling? What's wrong with Alexis?'_ Kate heard Martha ask in the background.

'Rick she's fine, she attended a crime scene earlier today….her friend Andie was killed this morning in a hit and run,'

' _Shit!'_

' _Oh Richard…oh that poor girl…Katherine,_ _how's my granddaughter?'_ Martha asked urgently.

'Martha she's fine, she's experiencing a little shock, but physically she's fine. Can you guys swing by the precinct on the way home and pick us up?'

' _Yes darling,_ _we're on our way…. oh Richard,_ _let the car_ _service collect_ _the luggage, they can drop it by the loft later.'_ Kate was thankful for Martha's level head.

' _Right Mother…..you're right.'_

' _I'm going to hold you to that Kiddo.'_

Kate couldn't help but smile at the conversation between mother and son. She could just picture Castle walking around in an aimless circle while Martha tried to calm him down.

' _Kate we should be about twenty minutes depending on traffic….Pumpkin you ok?'_

'Alexis is fine Castle, she's just had a rough morning.'

'I'm OK dad,' Alexis slurred as she struggled to stay awake.

'Hey sweetie I need you stay with me OK? You can go to sleep when we get home.'

' _Kate,_ _are you sure she's ok?'_

' _Richard the cars here,'_ Kate heard Martha advise in the background.

'Babe, she's fine. Just promise me you won't break any speeding records on the way here,' Kate asked.

' _I can't be held responsible for the way Tony drives,' Rick_ argued as Kate heard the slamming of car doors in the background. _'Yeah,_ _Tony,_ _we need to swing by the Twelfth on_ _the_ _way. There's an extra hundred in it if you get us there in under fifteen minutes.'_

' _You got it Mr._ _Castle.'_

'Rick,' Kate sighed in frustration.

' _We'll be there soon. And Kate?'_

'Yeah babe?'

' _I love you,'_ Rick whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

'I love you too Rick,' Kate replied before she pressed end and pocketed her cell.

Alexis straightened up again, and Kate felt the tingling sensation of the blood circulation being restored to the arm her daughter had been resting on. She watched on as Alexis looked around the office. Kate guessed her daughter was trying to keep herself distracted from the thoughts and visions running round in her head. 'Do you want to talk about what happened this morning?' Kate asked.

Alexis shook her head in the negative before shifting her focus to the windows looking out over the precinct. 'I put one of my best friends in a body bag this morning, and yet out there...' Alexis said as she tilted her head towards the people going about their normal work day. '...life goes on as normal…..I'm struggling to reconcile that.'

Kate sat silently as she let her daughter gather her thoughts. She'd been where Alexis was right now, and understood the conflict going on in the young woman's head. 'How do you do it, Kate? I've attended a lot of crime scenes, helped with numerous autopsies without a problem, yet today is the first time this job has ever affected me….I fell apart' Alexis confessed. 'How do you live with what you see every day; what you experience…how do you turn your mind off when you go home?' Alexis turned to her mom, and Kate could see the desperation in her daughter's eyes. 'How can I expect to become a police officer?'

'I'm not going to lie to you sweetheart, there's no magic fix, and I'm probably the poster girl for what not to do,' Kate admitted. 'And today you dealt with a situation those of us in law enforcement dread; knowing the victim. You'll learn to compartmentalise your emotions so you can stay focused on your job. My advice is to talk to someone at the end of every day, it doesn't matter who it is. It can be someone at the morgue, or any of the guys here, they're always available for you. And don't ever be afraid to come and talk to me or your dad. Please don't feel like you're burdening us,' Kate begged. 'Make it a habit to decompress every day and don't bottle things up,'

'What did you do before you met dad?' Alexis asked.

Kate smiled sadly as she remembers the shell of a person she was a few years ago. 'I did the exact opposite of what I just advised you to do,' Kate admitted. 'I refused to talk to anyone, refused to admit I needed help because I viewed it as a weakness. I didn't want to burden people with my problems.' Kate shrugged. 'Your father taught me that asking for, and accepting, help is one of the bravest things a person can do because it's when they're at their most vulnerable. Your dad's helped me through some very tough times, and I make it a point to decompress with him every day.'

'Ewww,' Alexis whispered at her mom's double entendre, but Kate was grateful to finally see a smile on her daughter's face from their ongoing joke.

'You know, one day soon, you're going to have a boyfriend, and then someday you'll marry a fantastic guy, and find out how wonderful it is to decompress every day.'

'But Andie won't,' Alexis suddenly felt guilty for smiling and feeling happy for a moment.

'No she won't. That was stolen from her,' Kate said as a matter of fact. 'And you're allowed to feel anger and grief, but you're also still allowed to feel joy and happiness. I also understand your guilt right now, and that's perfectly normal as well,' Kate explained. 'It's when you allow those feelings of guilt, grief, and anger to consume your life that it becomes unhealthy….take it from the person who wrote the handbook.' Kate reached down to where Alexis was wringing her hands together in agitation to still her daughter's movements. 'Lanie's going to arrange for you to see a councillor tomorrow. You're probably aware it's standard procedure after an experience like this.' Alexis nodded her head as she stared towards her mom's desk. 'You know your dad will go with you if you ask him to, or I'm happy to be there, but you need to go OK?'

'OK…I'll ask dad, I don't want you to have to take any more time off work,' Alexis answered timidly.

'Hey, what part of our discussion about not feeling like a burden didn't you get?' Kate tried to keep the frustration out of her voice, but knew she'd failed by the miserable look her daughter was giving her.

'Sometimes….it's still difficult to ask,' Alexis whispered as she looked down at their joined hands. 'I'm still getting used to the fact that you haven't left yet, that you actually want to be part of my life, and that you don't see me as some type of baggage…..or a way to get to my dad.'

'Oh sweetheart,' Kate soothed. Beckett silently cursed Meredith, and to a degree Gina, and understood why her husband never allowed any woman he dated anywhere near his daughter. 'I'm not going to ply you with platitudes because you've probably heard them your entire life,' Kate said as Alexis nodded. 'I'm still getting used to being part of a family that loves me unconditionally, people who need me as much as I need them…..it just gives us something to continue to work through together,' Kate smiled.

'How did….,' Alexis swallowed before she asked her next question. 'How did you cope without your mom? How did you do this without her?' she whispered as she wiped the tears off her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt. 'Don't get me wrong, I have the best dad in the world…..but there are times…'

'You just need a mom?' Kate finished.

Alexis looked towards Kate, thankful the older woman could read her mind so easily. 'You spend so much of your teenage years wanting to be an adult and having independence….but when you become an adult and get your independence….there are times you wish you could go back to being a kid again. Does that make sense?' Alexis asked.

'It makes perfect sense,' her mom smiled sadly. 'And I didn't cope without my mom,' Kate answered honestly. 'My one remaining parent became a reclusive alcoholic, so I had no one to help guide and support me through my grief and anger,' Kate explained. 'My main focus and drive when I dropped out of Stanford and joined the Academy, was to gain access to my mom's case. I'd built an impenetrable wall around myself so no one could get close to me. I figured if I never allowed anyone in, and kept them at arm's length, I could never get hurt again. At my very worst I was manic to the point of nearly being expelled from the NYPD.'

'But didn't Captain Montgomery and your training officer help you?' Alexis asked as she recalled a recent conversation between herself and Kate.

'They helped in their own way, helped stop the self-destructive path I was on, which essentially meant walking away from my mom's murder,' Kate explained. 'It wasn't until I fell in love with your dad that I realised, for the first time since my mom died, that I wanted to get better so I could love him the way he deserved to be loved….you were an added bonus,' Kate smiled.

'Yeah, like a free set of steak knives,' Alexis mumbled.

'Ah yes, but a home isn't complete without a set of steak knives.' Alexis smiled at her mom's response before she moved to rest her head against Kate's shoulder again. 'I met your Mr. Rauch today.' Alexis knew exactly where this conversation was going as she turned her face into Kate's neck. 'From our brief conversation, I got the distinct impression you never called him back….wanna tell me why?'

'Because I'm scared,' Alexis mumbled.

'Scared of what sweetheart?'

'Scared of falling in love with someone and it not working out…..scared of not being important to them anymore….I don't know if I'm ready to risk my heart again after what happened with Pi,' Alexis whispered. 'And not just with Pi, but how I nearly destroyed my relationship with dad.'

Kate's heart broke at the emotional walls her daughter had already started to build around herself. To the outside world, Alexis had lived the perfect childhood with the perfect father. But underneath the laser tag, movie marathons, private schools, and everything else Rick had done, trying to be both mother and father to his daughter, was a young woman who'd been deeply hurt by the people who'd left her during her life.

'Oh sweetheart,' Kate sighed. 'Take it from someone who's spent the past four years tearing down her walls, cutting yourself off from the possibility of love doesn't work. You only end up hurting yourself, but more importantly, you hurt the people who are trying to love you. You didn't discuss this with Doctor Burke?' Kate asked.

Alexis shook her head. 'No…I kinda didn't go back to see him after I came home from Europe,' her daughter admitted.

'Kinda or didn't?' Kate questioned.

'Didn't,'

'Why not?'

'I didn't see the need. I had my panic attacks under control so I decided not to go back,' Alexis confessed as she sat up straight again. Alexis' restlessness was not lost on Kate as she continued to monitor her daughter. 'Can we not talk about this anymore,' Alexis begged.

'I'll leave it for now, but this is definitely a conversation we'll be having again sometime in the near future OK?' Alexis nodded before letting her head fall against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. 'He is cute though,' Kate teased.

Alexis turned to look at her mom without lifting her head from its resting place. She tried but failed to hide the nervous smile on her face. 'Yeah he is,' Alexis admitted shyly.

Kate felt the vibration of her cell in her pocket. 'That'll be your dad….again,' Kate sassed as she pulled the phone from her pocket. 'Hey babe….….yeah, we're in my office….Rick, she's fine. I promise….no that's good…ok see you in a moment,' Kate pressed end and pocketed her cell again. 'Your dad's on his way up. Martha's with Tony, circling the block. Are you ready to head downstairs?' Alexis nodded as she continued to stare at the ceiling. Kate squeezed her daughter's knee as she rose from the couch. Moving to her desk, Kate proceeded to shut down her computer and gather her bag to take home with her.

Both women looked out to the precinct floor when they heard a commotion. 'Dad was never one to make a quiet entrance,' Alexis sighed as she prepared herself for her father entering the office. The young woman knew the moment her dad swept her up into a hug; she wouldn't be able to control her emotions any longer.

'Pumpkin?' it was almost comical the way Rick burst into the Captain's office, and as Alexis predicted, her father immediately sat beside her and gathered his daughter into his arms. 'I'm so sorry sweetheart,' he whispered into his daughter's hair before placing a loving kiss on her crown.

Rick looked helplessly towards Kate as he listened to his daughter sob as she clung to him. Kate placed her belongings back on her desk and walked over to her husband. 'You look exhausted,' Kate whispered before she bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her husband's forehead.

Kate watched on as her husband allowed his head to fall forward so that his forehead rested against her stomach. She gently carded her fingers through his hair in an effort to comfort and reassure him. 'Yet my mother looks like she's just stepped out of hair and makeup, and not like someone who's been up for nearly twenty four hours,' Rick groused.

'Yes well, she is Martha Rogers,' Kate teased. 'We should head downstairs so Tony can pick us up,' Kate suggested, and she felt her husband nod in agreement against her stomach.

Straightening back up, Rick looked up at his wife with such love that Kate struggled to maintain eye contact with him. This was the man the public never saw, the loving husband and father, the man who would gladly sacrifice everything for the people he loved.

Shifting back slightly, Rick looked down at his daughter who was now silent and looking as though she was about to fall asleep. 'Alexis, honey, we're going home now OK?' Rick said as he caressed a hand up and down his daughter's back.

'OK,' she whispered as she moved back from her father.

The three occupants of the room turned to look towards the office door when they heard a soft knock. 'Sorry to interrupt Captain,' Ryan said as he poked his head around the office door.

'No, don't apologise Ryan,' Kate motioned for the Detective to enter her office. 'What have you got for me?' she asked as she moved towards her desk to collect her bag again.

'I just got off the phone with Harrison, up at the Twenty Sixth,' Ryan explained for Castle's benefit. 'The Murphy's won't be in the city until after ten tonight. Apparently Hesston isn't the easiest place to fly out of. It's about an hour's drive down to the airport in Wichita, and a layover in Chicago, but they've been able to book a four pm flight,' Ryan walked over and handed Kate a piece of paper. 'This is their flight info into JFK….I uh kinda mentioned to Harrison that you'd be looking after them when they arrived tonight.'

'Thank you,' Kate's voice was thick with emotion as she took the information from her Detective.

'I'll arrange with Tony to have Malcolm and Zoe picked up and brought back to the loft,'

'Thank you dad,' Alexis squeezed her dad's arm before she rose from the couch and walked over to Detective Ryan. 'Thank you Detective Ryan, for all your, and Detective Esposito's help today,' the Detective was caught off guard as Alexis wrapped him in a hug; Detective Ryan returned the gesture before quickly stepping back.

'Ah…no problem,' Kate smiled at the bright shade of red her Detective had turned. 'I need to get back to work,' and with that Ryan exited the office as quickly as he could.

'We'd better head downstairs before Tony drops your mom off on the side of the road and takes off,' Kate teased as she walked over to her daughter and took her hand.

'Already on it….the picking us up, not dumping mother…although,'

'Dad!'

'Right…of course,' Rick teased as he pulled his cell from his pocket.

'Are you going to be OK?' Kate asked her daughter. Alexis just nodded as she allowed Kate to pull her in for a hug. 'I love you,' Kate whispered into her daughter's hair.

'I love you too,' Alexis murmured. 'Thank you, for being here for me today.'

'Always, baby girl.' Kate looked over to her husband, and she could feel the blush creep up her neck from look of adoration Rick was giving her.

'Ah…,' Rick cleared his throat as he refocused his thoughts, damn his wife for being perfect. 'Tony's about a block away, he should be out front by the time we make it onto the street,' he advised. 'You going to be OK going downstairs Pumpkin?' Alexis stepped back from her mom and nodded.

'What have you lost?' Kate asked as she watched Alexis look frantically around the office.

'Where's my bag,' Alexis said with alarm.

'Honey, it'll be at the morgue,' Kate soothed. 'Lanie's probably already got it locked in her office for safe keeping. We can collect it tomorrow OK?' Kate looked towards Rick with concern as she noticed her daughter becoming agitated again.

'Kate's right, sweetheart,' Rick walked over to Alexis and gently gathered her into his side.

'Do I still have to go for counselling tomorrow?' Rick looked to his wife in confusion at his daughter's question.

Kate nodded. 'Yes sweetheart, Lanie's going to call me to let me know what time your appointment is, but you do have to go.'

'Did you want me to go with you?' Rick asked gently.

Alexis nodded her head where it was resting against her dad's chest. 'Yes please,' she whispered. 'Can we go home now?'

'Sure thing Pumpkin,' Rick kept a hold of his daughter as they walked towards the office door. 'What's wrong sweetheart?' her dad asked, when the young woman stopped suddenly.

'Everyone's going to be looking at me,' Alexis whispered with concern.

Kate looked out to the precinct floor. Esposito must have noticed the family making their way towards the office door, and from the way he was gesturing, he was telling everyone to get back to work. 'No they won't,' Kate assured. 'Every single person out there has been exactly where you are right now. They will never judge you, and they will always be here to support you.'

Alexis nodded, allowing her dad to continue leading her as her mom opened the office door and walked over to her two lead Detectives. Rick continued to guide his daughter to the lift, presuming his wife was giving Ryan and Esposito instructions for the afternoon.

Kate joined her family just as the lift doors opened, and the three of them stepped into the thankfully empty car. As the lift descended, Kate moved to flank her daughter, a protective barrier against the chaos they would encounter on the ground floor. 'You ready?' Kate asked Alexis as the lift's bell announced its arrival at the precinct's lobby.

Alexis nodded as she straightened up. While she didn't move out of her father's protective embrace, Kate watched the vulnerability disappear from her daughter's face, and was replaced by strength and determination. 'I'm ready,' she stated.

Kate was ready for the throng of people as the doors opened, and cleared a pathway through the waiting crowd, so her husband could lead his daughter out of the lift. Once clear, Kate returned to flank her daughter as the small family moved towards the front entrance of the precinct, and onto the street.

'Katherine darling, we're over here!' Kate looked for her mother-in-law's voice, and saw the car double parked just up the street. Martha was waving frantically to gain her families attention.

'Your mom wore that on the plane?' Kate asked as she took in the technicoloured outfit Martha was wearing.

'What can I say….she's Martha Rogers,' Rick shrugged as the family made their way to the waiting car.

'How can a woman look that good after being awake for twenty four hours?' Kate complained.

'Are saying I look like crap?' Rick whined.

Before Kate could respond, Martha rushed forward to gather her granddaughter into a tight embrace. 'Oh my darling girl, I'm so sorry about your young friend,' the matriarch soothed. Alexis just nodded as she allowed her grandmother to help her into the car. 'I'll ride up front,' Martha stated as she turned to move to the front of the car.

'Oh no, Martha, please. I can take the front seat, you sit with Alexis,' Kate argued.

'Nonsense Katherine, besides, your daughter needs you,' Martha said with a wink before gracefully manoeuvring herself into the front seat. 'Thank you Tony,' the older woman said as Tony shut the car door.

Kate felt herself blush at her mother-in-law's comment, and startled when she felt her husband wrap his arms around her waist from where he was standing behind her. 'Mother's right, you know,' Rick murmured in her ear. 'Let's take our kid home,' Kate just nodded, too stunned for words, and it took a lot to stun Beckett into silence.

Rick waited for Kate to climb into the backseat of the car before moving to the opposite side of the vehicle, and sitting on the other side of his daughter. 'Mother, are you coming back to the loft?' Rick asked his mother once all the occupants of the car were settled. 'You can rest up there, before you have to go to the theatre tonight.'

Martha turned to look at her granddaughter, who was resting against her daughter-in-law, and then back to her son. 'Actually Richard, that sounds wonderful,' Martha smiled.

'Good, that's good mother,' Rick said with sincerity, and looked towards his wife when he felt her squeeze his hand. 'Tony, I need to arrange for the car service to pick up some friends from JFK later this evening, and bring them back to the loft.'

'Sure thing Mr. Castle,' the driver replied as he merged into the early afternoon traffic.

'Dad, how will Mr. and Mrs. Murphy know where to go?' Alexis asked with concern.

'Don't you worry Ms. Castle,' Tony reassured his young passenger. 'Firstly, I wish to say I'm sorry for your loss, and I'll make sure your friend's parents are met at their arrival gate and brought straight to the loft?'

'Thank you,' Alexis whispered.

'You OK there sweetheart?' Rick asked his daughter. Alexis just nodded where her head was resting on her mom's shoulder.

'Just tired…..I just…'

'Just what sweetie,' Kate asked.

'I just….I don't know, I just…'

'You just want everything in your head to be quiet.' Kate answered.

'Yeah,' Alexis whispered as she continued to stare out the car window with her head still resting on her mom's shoulder.

'When we get home, we'll go through some strategies Doctor Burke taught you. It'll help settle everything that's going on in your head right now,' Kate soothed, placing a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. 'Then I'll go through some meditation and yoga exercises with you. They'll help you clear your mind so you can sleep.'

'OK.'

Kate looked over her daughter's head towards her husband, and her heart broke at the look of utter helplessness on his face. The older woman was almost thankful when she felt her cell vibrating in her pocket. Alexis shifted over to her dad, so her mom could retrieve her cell.

Smiling at the look of relief on her husband's face as he wrapped an arm around his daughter's shoulders, Kate suddenly worried that he may be jealous of the relationship she'd built with Alexis. She tucked that thought in the back of her mind and answered her cell. 'Hey Lanie…..yeah we're on our way home now….OK I'll let her know. Oh, Alexis also wants to know if you have her bag…great….if it's not too much trouble…..OK see you then…..you too, bye.' Pocketing her cell, Kate turned to find two identical sets of eyes looking expectantly at her.

'Was that about my appointment?'

'Yeah, you need to be at the morgue by nine tomorrow morning. Lanie will be accompanying you. It's standard procedure,' Kate assured her husband. 'Your dad can still go with you OK? Lanie has your bag in her office, she's going to drop it off later this afternoon…...your phone's been ringing non-stop.'

'Did you want to stop by the campus sweetheart?' her dad asked.

Alexis shook her head vehemently. 'Just wanna go home,' the young woman whispered as she rested against her dad. As much as Alexis wanted to attend any vigil set up on campus in her friend's honour, she couldn't cope with it today.

'OK, home it is. What did you want for lunch?' Rick asked.

'Not hungry.'

'Mac and cheese it is then,' her dad soothed.

Alexis smiled at her dad's suggested comfort food. She'd eat it even if she wasn't hungry. The young woman had learned a long time ago, her dad's comfort food could fix nearly anything. 'Thanks dad…..Andie loved your mac and cheese. Every time she was homesick, she'd drop hints, and I'd end up inviting her for dinner…..where you'd always seem to have made mac and cheese,' Alexis whispered.

Kate and Rick shared a secret smile between each other. 'We already knew that sweetheart,' Kate smiled sadly at her daughter.

'You did?'

'Why do you think I made it the nights you called to let us know Andie would be with you?' her dad answered.

'Thank you.' Alexis took the tissue her mom was holding out to her, and wiped the tears that were trickling down her cheeks. 'Best parents ever,' the young woman murmured as she went back to staring out the car window.

'Yes we are,' Kate agreed as she reached over and smoothed a lock of hair behind her daughter's ear. Alexis grabbed her mom's wrist before Kate had the chance to move away. Grasping her mom's hand tightly, Alexis rested their joined hands on her thigh.

'We'll wake you when we get home,' was the last thing Alexis heard as she finally closed her eyes, allowing the gentle movement of the car to lull her to sleep. _'Best_ _parents_ _ever.'_


End file.
